Tired and unhappy :(

[jjdub]

Hi Cat...
Welcome to the board.

My wife had the same experience in the pool and ended up skipping the OW class we were going to take together. She really wanted to try it so we spent some time snorkeling to get used to the mask -- the enclosed nose was a huge source of anxiety for her. She was able to try the pool again in full scuba gear and was much more comfortable.

As previous posters have pointed out, it is important to add new elements slowly rather than in one big lump. When it comes to anxiety, the whole is MUCH MORE than the sum of the parts.

I have exactly the opposite problem when it comes to contacts. I can where them without any problems in a pool, but I can't last more than a minute or two in the ocean. I have chosen to dive without them for now and plan to either buy Rx lenses for my mask or get lasik.

Good luck.

 

[jbichsel]

Another vote for doing this for you, not someone else.

And listen to Walter. He is a diety. All his advice regarding spending time with mask and snorkel only is spot on.

Don't concern yourself with the class time schedule. If they are a good shop, they will understand and work with you to reschedule your OW dives when you are ready for them.

By getting comfortable with snorkel breathing (no mask), taking off, putting on, clearing your mask by only what air you have in your lungs, you are mastering the same things you will be doing with scuba. But without the mental anxiety of having that extra gear on. Remember, as Walter says, this is a gradual progression. Swimming, then snorkeling then SCUBA.

I would also cauition you about getting your cousin(?) to help you in the pool. With snorkeling, ok. But not with scuba if he/she is not trained to teach.

When you do get back in the pool with scuba gear on, make sure you can take some time to kneel or sit down in the shallow end and just breathe. Don't do anything but breathe. Don't put your mask on. Just breathe in and out of your mouth while doing nothing. Get used to it.

your instrutor should be cool with this. They should be willing to take extra time to address your issues and concerns and work with you.

 

[fisherdvm]

I would agree with not letting a cousin help you on your skill. I recall a divemaster losing a student he tried to teach in Hawaii, and recently, an instructor lost his wife from dive training.

Not to say that these professionals were unqualified, but in less than ideal situations, especially in someone who is already anxious - this could spell disaster for both of you.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I would not advise letting a family member train you also. At least for OW. Having someone that close to you is too much of an invitation for them or you to cut corners, say you are comfortable with something when you are not, and a host of other issues. An instructor who is willing to work with you is your best bet. They can critique without being judgemental, make sure you get what you are supposed to, and you won't be throwing it back into their face the next time there's a family argument. There is also the thing that indeed you have to want to do it for you. If not don't. THere are some who simply do not belong in the water on scuba no matter what the different agencies marketing hype says. You can have alot of fun on the boat, snorkeling above the divers, or spending his/her money while they are looking at fish.

 

[Walter]

Lots of assumptions. Some people can remain objective and patient even with family members. It all depends on the personalities involved.

 

[rawls]

And listen to Walter. He is a diety

Now you've done it

 

[J.R.]

Its so good to read this board and realise that im not a failure (or at least the only one lol). And i will try again, but im going to work it out with my cousin rather than in a giant class.

Hey Cat...

First, I'd like to say that you've gotten some really good advice (in my opinion... for what it's worth)... on this thread... But, reading back over the thread I re-read the above quote from you and would like to suggest one more area to think about...

I'm an old married guy (35 years in the institution)... last year my better 3/4's decided to learn diving. When she started her OW, I intentionally didn't go to the dive shop with her for her classes... didn't go to the early pool sessions... didn't help her with anything... The reason... to not put any additional 'pressure' on her.

We went through AOW together... to get used to diving together... and one thing *I* learned was that even though she was 'diving for her'... there was still an element of 'performance anxiety'. After a couple of dives, when we'd sit and talk about the dive, she'd make comments about 'being slow'... or pointing out where she had not performed up to her expectations. Even though I'd tell her "don't worry about it... you're doing fine..." it wasn't until she actually accepted this that she began to really relax and not try to push her learning rate that she really started feeling comfortable down there.

At this point she has accepted the fact that she is NOT *holding me back* and that I'm just thrilled to have her as a dive buddy. She's gotten used to the idea that I'm in no rush and quite happy to decend at a rate that she can decend at... dive at a depth she's comfortable with... and 'diving better profiles' is something we'll slowly work toward together. As she's gotten comfortable with these ideas... a lot of the 'gear handling issues' have seemed to resolved themselves... (... and, as an intersting note, as she's gotten more comfortable, I tend to *worry less*. I've discovered that when I'm diving with somebody I REALLY care about... I do tend to keep a very protective eye on them... so, as we've both gotten used to diving together... BOTH of our 'profiles' have improved... sweet!)

We all have a tendancy to put pressures on ourselves... we have really high expectations of what we expect from ourselves (anticipation), we want to look like or dive like somebody we admire (acceptance), or we feel a need to 'prove' ourselves (fear of not measuring up). There are lots of others... but these are pretty common and I think we've all felt them at one time or another...

The fact that you used the word 'failure' in this post suggests to me that you *may* be feeling some unconcious performance pressure... not unusual... we all get em'. But the thing is... besides "diving for yourself"... you also need to understand that diving within your personal comfort zone is OK too... The only person you have to 'measure up to' is you... so make sure that you're setting the bar at an achievable level... you can always raise it once you achieve your first set of goals... but most people find it very difficult to 'lower' a bar that they may have set too high to begin with.

I could be all wrong about the above... but thought I'd toss it out as something to think about...

Blow bubbles... see fish... have fun...

(Oh... what wuz' it that guy said??? Yea... "... every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.")

 

[keyscapt]

Well Cat, there's so much information here it's gonna start making you dizzy. But many wise folks have given you their thoughts, and there's much really good advice. And I have two more pennies to pitch in.

Most instructors have dealt with precisely the same problems you've had, and I would urge you, if at all possible, to try and find an instructor that can work with you on an individual basis, one-on-one, at your pace, until you get beyond the problems you experienced. It won't take long, and at that time, you can re-join a class if you like, and you will be having the fun that you originally expected to have. Further, most instructors live for the feeling of getting someone with problems over their hurdles .... I know I do. Training new divers is a lot of fun and a bit of work, but not particularly difficult. Getting those with problems to be comfortable and secure, and to the point where they're grinning all the time and really enjoying themselves is hugely rewarding, and not soon forgotten by either party.

Good luck! You certainly have the right attitude.

 

[mberman]

Hi Cat,

I'm a pretty new diver and haven't figured everything out yet so don't know if this will help you. I find that when I feel like I can't get enough air or have that constricted feeling it is usually because I am struggling in some way-- trying to float "higher" on the surface, trying too hard to maintain a position in the pool while waiting for someone else, or even gripping the regulator too hard between my teeth! I just try to take a few even, relaxing breaths and let go of the muscle tension caused by my struggling. I panicked a bit on my OW dives and just focusing on the fact that I had air to breath even though I was floating low in the water, or couldn't see due to sediment kicked up helped me to relax and keep the panic from getting out of control. I have found that if you are not struggling, you really do get enough air from the regulator!

Best of luck to you!!

 

[cummings66]

I don't know you so what I say might be wrong. IMO I believe that you will do fine as long as you can relax. To me it sounded like you were a bit nervous the first time in the pool. I've seen it in classes I've observed and I've seen those same students eventually nail it.

The mindset is what it's about, have one of I can do it and you will do it. Be positive and the results will work out as you wish. I honestly believe that if you want this to happen then it will happen, and if you don't it won't.

As to family or relatives teaching or helping you. I see nothing wrong with them helping on some things, and then I can see problems arising if they attempt to go to far. How would you know if they're going too far? You won't. What I'd suggest is that you limit it to non scuba related skills, i.e. anything you can do snorkeling is fine to work on. I don't think family helping is bad, look at how family worked a long time ago. Every thing you knew came from them, swimming, etc. As long as you have a competent teacher IMO it doesn't matter how you are related, or not. Being competent is the key issue at hand when you're learning skills that your life depends on.