This looks like a job for the GEEK SQUAD...

[ScubaTexan]

True stories....

Help Desk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...
******
Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Help Desk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Help Desk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
******
Help Desk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
******
Help Desk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Help Desk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
******
Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
******
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Help Desk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
******
Help Desk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
******
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Help Desk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Help Desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Help Desk:! Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Help Desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
******
Help Desk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
******
A customer couldn't get on the Internet.
Help Desk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Help Desk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
******
Help Desk: What anti virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Help Desk: That's not an anti virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
******
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
******
Help Desk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Help Desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

 

[Tamas]

Yup, been there done that....this is why I have no more hair left.

 

[FreeFloat]

BOFH.

If you don't already know, Google it and punch up "I'm feeling lucky".

Written by a true IT guy.......

 

[pants!]

The Geek Squad makes me so angry at Best Buy.

I actually told an overly helpful one "I don't work for your stupid Geek Squad because I'm way overqualified. I probably make twice your salary implementing enterprise network security. I don't need your know-it-all butt trying to tell me I need to bring my PC in because it has spyware. Now quit assuming you're a damn superhero, leave the condescending attitude in the back room with your A+ certification, and leave me alone" the other day.

I had never been so ready to punch someone in my life.

 

[SueMermaid]

.....So if you are so overqualified, why did you take your problem to the Geek Squad in the first place?

 

[H2Andy]

.....So if you are so overqualified, why did you take your problem to the Geek Squad in the first place?

don't taunt him, i think he's going to snap any moment now!

how would you feel if your username was pants and your first name was under?

 

[Queen]

True story from the local university.
Help desk: are you at the C prompt?
Customer: no I'm at the library

 

[sdstahl]

Wow you sound like the rude one, how did your conversation start in the first place? I am sure with your title you couldn't possibly of been asking them for help.

 

[pants!]

I was there shopping for a laptop with my girlfriend, and he came over and wouldn't leave us alone. We never asked for help. He was walking by and butted in. I told him we didn't need help at least four times. I got the impression he was trying to look cool.

 

[c-monkey]

Hmmm... did I click wrong somewhere? I thought this was the humor forum...