This forum needs a description

[DandyDon]

How about this suggested editing. (I know, I always argued with my editors!!)

Trim unneeded words, add the park, adjust some descriptions, put the beer back in: World Class Marine Park drift diving, renown cuisine and great hospitality. The island with a Mexican heart and a Caribbean soul! You’ve seen the Corona commercials, experience the reality.

Never mind that the cruise barges ram and bump the coral heads around the piers. :11: Those captains and pilots should wait until their ashore to hit the cervaza. Or do they even bother with pilots?

Yes I do, screening the forums for unnecessary frumpery and correcting errors.

Which probly means he checks everything I post, as I goof up a lot, but he does good work.

 

[archman]

Never mind that the cruise barges ram and bump the coral heads around the piers. :11: Those captains and pilots should wait until their ashore to hit the cervaza. Or do they even bother with pilots?

Actually, I like this one a LOT.

 

[El Orans]

"World Class Marine Park drift diving, renown cuisine and great hospitality. The island with a Mexican heart and a Caribbean soul! You’ve seen the Corona commercials, come experience the reality."

 

[Divingnthedark]

Yes I do, screening the forums for unnecessary frumpery and correcting errors.

How much are you getting paid by SB for all this necessary screening???

 

[Divingnthedark]

"World Class Marine Park drift diving, renown cuisine and great hospitality. The island with a Mexican heart and a Caribbean soul! You’ve seen the Corona commercials, come experience the reality."

There we go!:05:

 

[El Orans]

Going once, going twice...

 

[DandyDon]

"World Class Marine Park drift diving, renown cuisine and great hospitality. The island with a Mexican heart and a Caribbean soul! You’ve seen the Corona commercials, come experience the reality."

Yeah, I took that one word out, but it works better back in.

And no, one cannot sum up the place in a paragraph, as it is so much more, but it looks like a nice introduction to me.

Damn, good work for a impromptu committee. Now, do we need to send it out to focus groups?

 

[El Orans]

Now, do we need to send it out to focus groups?

Just send it off to NetDoc. Since no-one felt the need to write the description previously, I'd say we're good to go.

 

[halocline]

I'd probably ditch the corona part...it's going to alienate a few non-americans, we're unnecessarily pushing a product, bringing TV into our description which IMO cheapens the message in a subtle way, and let's say corona changes their current ad campaign, like to a bunch of screaming spring breakers.

Is this what working at an ad agency would be like?

 

[DandyDon]

Just send it off to NetDoc. Since no-one felt the need to write the description previously, I'd say we're good to go.

Sent. Also sent the link so he can come over to see what was discussed. I'm sure he has all kinds of free time for that.