The worst thing you have ever heard or seen...

[Soloist]

I’ve told this story before in another thread, so ignore if you have read it before. This took place on a drift dive aboard a boat with about eight other divers. There was one individual that waited till the very last minute to start gearing up. He began by looking at his regulator in wide eyed wonderment as if it was the first time he had ever seen the thing. Then he started shaking his poodle jacket a bit in an effort to get the bugs out apparently. Realizing time was ticking away he began frantically looking at other assembled kits on the boat for a clue or at least some bread crumbs. It was at this point two of us alerted the DM. The DM immediately stepped in and assembled his gear while explaining each step. Out of genuine concern the DM pulled him aside and stated “you don’t have to do this dive”, but while acting as if everything was perfectly normal and under control he said he was good to go. In the meantime I informed my buddy of the situation and to stay far away from this person. A few minutes later the captain bellowed DIVE, DIVE, DIVE! I glanced over to see the “diver” holding his standard INFLATOR hose at the ready to place in his mouth for an exciting and memorable 20 second panic dive. I screamed above the commotion to put his REGULATOR in his mouth instead. He cluelessly peered down and looked back with an “oh yeah, sure, no problem” look on his face. WTH?

This person was clearly a danger to himself and others. Oblivious, poorly trained and ill prepared. Am I being too harsh? Possibly, but I believe most would agree this level of incompetency is unacceptable. However, based on my experience he is an extreme exception to the norm. Typically there are many levels of experience on a dive boat and the vast majority are self aware, motivated, helpful and courteous.

 

[rabe]

I’ve told this story before in another thread, so ignore if you have read it before. This took place on a drift dive aboard a boat with about eight other divers. There was one individual that waited till the very last minute to start gearing up. He began by looking at his regulator in wide eyed wonderment as if it was the first time he had ever seen the thing. Then he started shaking his poodle jacket a bit in an effort to get the bugs out apparently. Realizing time was ticking away he began frantically looking at other assembled kits on the boat for a clue or at least some bread crumbs. It was at this point two of us alerted the DM. The DM immediately stepped in and assembled his gear while explaining each step. Out of genuine concern the DM pulled him aside and stated “you don’t have to do this dive”, but while acting as if everything was perfectly normal and under control he said he was good to go. In the meantime I informed my buddy of the situation and to stay far away from this person. A few minutes later the captain bellowed DIVE, DIVE, DIVE! I glanced over to see the “diver” holding his standard INFLATOR hose at the ready to place in his mouth for an exciting and memorable 20 second panic dive. I screamed above the commotion to put his REGULATOR in his mouth instead. He cluelessly peered down and looked back with an “oh yeah, sure, no problem” look on his face. WTH?

This person was clearly a danger to himself and others. Oblivious, poorly trained and ill prepared. Am I being too harsh? Possibly, but I believe most would agree this level of incompetency is unacceptable. However, based on my experience he is an extreme exception to the norm. Typically there are many levels of experience on a dive boat and the vast majority are self aware, motivated, helpful and courteous.

I'm wondering: if you (not you, I mean the dude in your story) are so un-prepared, why do you decide to jump on the boat and dive?Are you suicidal? Or simply stupid?

 

[fisherdvm]

Just 5 weeks ago... a newer DM perhaps? Retired teacher. Was DM on my charter with another DM. 3 divers by the name of Tom was on the boat. First DM roll call with the last name initial. Which is fine. When we finished diving, the last roll call, the older DM called out Tom 3 times, without the last name. The goofy woman was yelling at divers with their mask on their forehead. Saying it means you are under distressed. They all purposely left their mask that way to annoy her. Then a young man asked her if he needs his snorkel? She promptly told him it is mandatory equipment! The I overheard her explaining to them that if you dove with steel tank, you need more weight! I am glad to see an older person takes up the challenge to be a dive professional. But a little more experience is better before you volunteered on a dive boat.

 

[fisherdvm]

Another time I went on a night dive in Mexico on a boat. There was only two divers - myself and another young man. They issued us divelights which were like pistols. I had my own. They gave him two. I told him how I always get anxious on night dives. He tried to comfort me, saying there is nothing to worry about - it is just like diving in the day. He had about 20 dives. I had about 20 night dives. But he doesn’t know it. I watched the DM jumped in with 2 lights- both in the same hand. The man jumped in with two lights, one in each hand. We all got under - the man went back up. When I got up from the first dive and asked him what happened- he said he blew out his ear drum. He couldn’t equalize with both hands holding both lights.

 

[rabe]

Just 5 weeks ago... a newer DM perhaps? Retired teacher. Was DM on my charter with another DM. 3 divers by the name of Tom was on the boat. First DM roll call with the last name initial. Which is fine. When we finished diving, the last roll call, the older DM called out Tom 3 times, without the last name. The goofy woman was yelling at divers with their mask on their forehead. Saying it means you are under distressed. They all purposely left their mask that way to annoy her. Then a young man asked her if he needs his snorkel? She promptly told him it is mandatory equipment! The I overheard her explaining to them that if you dove with steel tank, you need more weight! I am glad to see an older person takes up the challenge to be a dive professional. But a little more experience is better before you volunteered on a dive boat.

I agree: I find that most of the DMs, especially the one in training, have a very little experience.
The one I was talking about in my previous story (nitrox more air etc etc) was diving with me last sunday: he ran out of air after 20 minutes, and then he panicked and didn't know how to proceed (I've paired him with other doing the SS, and I kept diving with others)...
Back on the boat, I complained with another DM on the boat, and he agreed with me regarding these new generation of unprepared DMs...

 

[fisherdvm]

Worse instabuddy dive buddy ever?? A scuba instructor. He smoked like a fien. A german dude. He did not like lobster hunter, but didn’t say it till he was in the water. Bragged about his credentials. Fine - good for you! I took the flag and went down to get lobsters. The dude struggled trying to descend as his smoke irritated eustachian tubes would not open. He got to me while I was trying to snare a lobster, and made nasty gestures. I kept on my way and caught a few bugs. We ascended and he was furious. He yelled at me in front of other divers what a terrible buddy I was. He complained to the captain about how dare he matched me with him. The guy thinks I should be his baby sitter. The captain asked a solo diver - a hunter, to be his buddy for the next dive. I spoke to the captain afterward, and he said I didn’t do anything wrong. I carried the flag, and that was my job. No more!