The Ultimate Regulator List

[jonnythan]

And no I don't own a Vespa!

Not yet....

 

[HammerNoMore]

I have been soliciting information about regulators from the fine folks on scubaboard and it has been very illuminating. I have decided to help other new divers by distilling what I have learned about the various brand names. Months of tireless research have resulted in the following list. At last... it's...

After thinking about this post, I think it's required to make automobile comparisons....

Oceanic: The cheddar cheese of scuba … the Regis Philbin of regulators … ubiquitous and completely unsexy. The reg everyone rents and no one buys.

The Ford Tarus.

Mares: Italian, stylish and therefore suspect. Buy one of these and next thing you know you’ll be buying espadrilles to match your Vespa. Nothing that pretty could work anyway. Well… maybe that ugly one, the Abyss, is okay.

The Fiat.

Sherwood: At a cocktail party you will pretend you don’t know this regulator. It is the sputtering, stuttering, bubbling, drunk uncle of scuba who is a surprisingly decent fellow when sober.

The Chrysler K-Car.

Aqualung: The Legend might actually make the user of a certain “newly acquired Aqualung subsidiary” take pause, if only for a moment. The Titan gets the same respect a '69 Dodge Dart gets. Unfortunately the company loses millions in business from people who can’t get over that Jethro Tull song.

As you said...Dodge Dart.

Tusa: They make regulators?

The Kia.

Zeagle: Everybody’s favorite runner up; the reg you love to love, if not actually to own. You know that feeling when your kid sister does really well at her violin recital? It’s kind of like that. Easy to service if you live in certain parts of Florida.

1969 Mustang Fastback.

Aeris: Rumored to be a good reg, but Larry from Scubatoys is the only person who has actually seen one.

The Edsel.

ScubaPro: Either the best regs on the market or highly strung thoroughbreds prone to free-flow every time the temp drops below 50 degrees F . . . or both. Like a Mercedes, buy one to use while the other is in the shop.

You hit the nail on the head...Mercedes.

OMS: Makes a regulator.

The Pantera. Pretends to be an Italian sports car but is a Ford at heart.

Atomic: Makers of the T1-X, the first reg in the world to not be owned by anyone. Some people swear Atomic are the best. James Bond would dive one. They go well with a Rolex and a vodka martini.

Aston Martin.

Genesis: The only regulator distributed in vending machines and given away as prizes at traveling carnivals. In 1997 somebody took one to 80 feet and actually lived.

The Ford Escort.

Dive Rite: I think the guy in the corner with the coveralls and handlebar mustache owns one. These go great with a welding mask.

1971 Chevy C10.

Dacor: There are two camps: those who believe Dacor regs are fine for diving in distilled water shallower than 20 feet, and those who believe that just looking at one will kill you. Parts cannot be found anywhere, which is why all Dacor regs are currently made of scotch tape and bent paperclips.

Saab 900.

Beauchat: Do not really exist.

Maserati.

Poseidon: Your grandfather’s 47 Plymouth that still turns over on the first try. Old Mr. Johnston from down the road who still ties a perfect mahogany dun at 87… Jeb the ol’ coon hound sittin’ by the fire who can track grouse better than…. you get the point.

Once again 47 Plymouth.

Cressi-Sub: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Cressi is the wallflower of regulators. It keeps showing up to the party and keeps going home alone.

The Delorean.

And … of course…

Apeks: (get out your hankeys, cue chorus of angels) Let me see you put your hands in the air … come on people… say it with me now!! For further information please read “My life was meaningless until I discovered Apeks,” “How Apeks won the Cold War, cured cancer and ended world hunger,” and the ever popular, “How to get any woman into bed with an Apeks regulator.”

What else, BMW.

James

 

[alexcttan]

What about Seac-Sub and Apollo?? Any good at all??

 

[rescuediver009]

What about Seac-Sub and Apollo?? Any good at all??

Them along with the Abyssmal.

 

[Tampabay]

I really enjoy it! Thanks

 

[aquaoren]

IMHO
Poseidon = Volvo
Mares = Alfa Romeo

 

[alemaozinho]

I have been soliciting information about regulators from the fine folks on scubaboard and it has been very illuminating. I have decided to help other new divers by distilling what I have learned about the various brand names. Months of tireless research have resulted in the following list. At last... it's...

THE ULTIMATE REGULATOR LIST (in no particular order)

Oceanic: The cheddar cheese of scuba … the Regis Philbin of regulators … ubiquitous and completely unsexy. The reg everyone rents and no one buys.

Mares: Italian, stylish and therefore suspect. Buy one of these and next thing you know you’ll be buying espadrilles to match your Vespa. Nothing that pretty could work anyway. Well… maybe that ugly one, the Abyss, is okay.

Sherwood: At a cocktail party you will pretend you don’t know this regulator. It is the sputtering, stuttering, bubbling, drunk uncle of scuba who is a surprisingly decent fellow when sober.

Aqualung: The Legend might actually make the user of a certain “newly acquired Aqualung subsidiary” take pause, if only for a moment. The Titan gets the same respect a '69 Dodge Dart gets. Unfortunately the company loses millions in business from people who can’t get over that Jethro Tull song.

Tusa: They make regulators?

Zeagle: Everybody’s favorite runner up; the reg you love to love, if not actually to own. You know that feeling when your kid sister does really well at her violin recital? It’s kind of like that. Easy to service if you live in certain parts of Florida.

Aeris: Rumored to be a good reg, but Larry from Scubatoys is the only person who has actually seen one.

ScubaPro: Either the best regs on the market or highly strung thoroughbreds prone to free-flow every time the temp drops below 50 degrees F . . . or both. Like a Mercedes, buy one to use while the other is in the shop.

OMS: Makes a regulator.

Atomic: Makers of the T1-X, the first reg in the world to not be owned by anyone. Some people swear Atomic are the best. James Bond would dive one. They go well with a Rolex and a vodka martini.

Genesis: The only regulator distributed in vending machines and given away as prizes at traveling carnivals. In 1997 somebody took one to 80 feet and actually lived.

Dive Rite: I think the guy in the corner with the coveralls and handlebar mustache owns one. These go great with a welding mask.

Dacor: There are two camps: those who believe Dacor regs are fine for diving in distilled water shallower than 20 feet, and those who believe that just looking at one will kill you. Parts cannot be found anywhere, which is why all Dacor regs are currently made of scotch tape and bent paperclips.

Beauchat: Do not really exist.

Poseidon: Your grandfather’s 47 Plymouth that still turns over on the first try. Old Mr. Johnston from down the road who still ties a perfect mahogany dun at 87… Jeb the ol’ coon hound sittin’ by the fire who can track grouse better than…. you get the point.

Cressi-Sub: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Cressi is the wallflower of regulators. It keeps showing up to the party and keeps going home alone.

And … of course…

Apeks: (get out your hankeys, cue chorus of angels) Let me see you put your hands in the air … come on people… say it with me now!! For further information please read “My life was meaningless until I discovered Apeks,” “How Apeks won the Cold War, cured cancer and ended world hunger,” and the ever popular, “How to get any woman into bed with an Apeks regulator.”


I hope this was informative. If I missed anything please let me know.

what about you dive all those regs and write a nice test report for us (your opinion)aye

 

[Mortlock]

Good one mate! Very funny

 

[Kriterian]

Although I did stumble in here looking for the same information to help me decide on a reg, I'll take a good laugh as well. I think it should be stickied in here, but that's just me.

Though I think the Abyss is far more macho-looking than the ICE, which you would NEVER find me dead with!

As if this thread wasn't funny enough, I got a bad case of the shiggles** reading this part. It helps if you picture an out of air diver stomping his foot underwater and crossing his or her arms across their chest while gurgling, "no WAY I'm breathing off that!"

Then when they find the body, one of the SRD's says "Damn, someone must of asked him to breath off an Ice."

foot note ** Shiggles: When laughing extra hard you start off with a small poot that turns into flowing, unwelcome leak.

 

[Kestrell]

Best, funny post ever.