The American Lawyer

[Former FLL Now MSP Diver]

A big city lawyer from the States went duck hunting in rural Nova Scotia. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Nova Scotia. We settle small disagreements like this with the Nova Scotia Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Nova Scotia Three Kick Rule!!!"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land,
first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the
duck .


Marc

 

[DanBo]

Marc,

Thanks for the laugh that made my morning. Most of my clients are lawyers. Have got to share that joke with them.

Dan

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a
man's character, give him power."-Abraham Lincoln

 

[JCKCSYCMD]

This was good....has been forwarded to a select group of friends and .....well what ever.....Jc.

 

[mddolson]

Why is that if people from all walks of life fell into a shark feeding frenzy, only the lawyers wouldn't be attacked or eaten?

Professional Courticy!

Mike D

 

[JCKCSYCMD]

I can't remember the exact quote. But Robin Williams in his role as the adult Peter is a lawyer, actually acquisition/mergers, sometimes hostil and had in fact he as an adult had become a pirate also.
As he addresses a group he jokes about his profession that scientists have started using lawyers instead of rats for lab experiments. His reason was that lawyers will do things that even the rats wouldn't do, and the lab staffs were less likely to grow attached to the lawyers.