Tell us your most embarassing bloopers?

[Mobius1]

ok.. heres one really stupid thing i did on a kyack trip

i ran over a stump and kind of sank my kyack and yelled out over the raido

"this is the flaming-anus calling i am sinking going down fast! need help over."(dont ask why its named the flaming anus)

but the troop came round the bend and they were cracking up cus i was on the stern, the bow of it was sunk and they just reamed me for it..

now i did this same thing again only this time i forgot to close the 3 inch drain in the stern of my kyack and i ahd to go through surf to dive. and the kyack started to sink. as this happened i was busy donning my gear and i strapped myself in my seat on my kyack broke my paddle down to one blade
i grabbed my friends 2 50 pound lift bags and put them on the bow and stern inflated them
but my boat was still 3 feet under
so i resorted to paddleing with my hands.

my friend was too busy laughing like a mad man at my perdicament to help me into shore. so now my friend always bugs me when kyacking using the nickname he gave me.... which is in the third person and it pisses me off when he refers to me this way "the sub captin who needed water wings"

they never will forget that heh.

 

[chrpai]

(dont ask why its named the flaming anus)

You aren't getting off that easy! WHY is it called the flaming a***?

 

[Mobius1]

well its a long story(not really)

well on a trip 2 years ago they called my boat the flaming anus because i had to do the old squat and dump method and i lit the crap onfire with white gas.. so the others saw it and they called my boat the flaming anus..


When your scout's you do such stupid things that you cant comprehend them a lot of the time.

 

[frankzeg]

Stupid stuff checklist for myself:
trying to use snorkel instead of regulator: check
diving into water with sunglasses instead of mask: check
forgetting weight belt: check
forgetting fins: check
closed cross-over valve on doubles- yielding impressive air consumption: check
forgetting drysuit inflator hose hook-up: check

I think my favorite was on a dive trip to the Coronado Islands. While rigging tank I stepped away for just a sec only to see the BC/tank tumble to the deck. Quickly recovering I grabbed it up and proceeded to finish gearing up. Got in water and all seemed OK at first but darn it did seem like I was having to kick to stay at the surface. By my BC is inflated right? Wrong. Amazing how much air can leak out of a punctured BC bladder with just a teeny hole. By sheer coincidence that hole was right at the top- just where the regulator would pinch it if it happened to fall. This pretty much ended that dive day.

I think making these mistakes is good for you: it keeps you humble- at least for a while.

 

[H2Andy]

well, on my sixth or seventh OW dive, my buddy and i got to the anchor line
to start our descent, and he said he was having trouble getting negative and
sinking. so i said, hey, i have no trouble with that, look at me and do what i do.

so... i get vertical (one hand on the line) and de-inflate my BC. nothing. i exhale
all the way. nothing. i am turning blue holding my breath out. nothing. i can't sink.

waddle waddle waddle, head down this time. i kick, my fins flapping out of the water.
nothing. this is ridiculous.

so i grab a hold of the line with both hands. yank myself down the line. it's like
i am trying to crawl UP a vertical wall, that's how hard it is. and the whole time, i
just want to pop back up to the surface.

luckily, at about 15 feet, my brain turned on.

i had forgotten to put on my weight belt.

my buddy laughed his **** off while i had to climb back on the boat, put the belt
on, and get back in the water.

 

[6Gill]

On a recent dive trip to the Mexico's Yucatan Pn. my dive partner and I were the first off the boat into the water. We were waitng for the rest of the group to enter (to include the DM). My dive partner suggested that I switch to snorkle, which I did. Now normally, I never switch to a snorkle after entry from a boat. Soooooo.....guess what! When my partner gave me the signal she wantedl to descend, I let out all my air (BC & Chest) and started to descend. Much to my suprise, my first breath was pretty wet. I had to resurface coughing and sputtering to switch to my regulator! I really doubt that I will switch to snorkle on boat entries much in the future.

Oh and the sunglass thing....yeah me too! As a young Deputy Sheriff Rescue/Recovery diver, I was a member of the USCG Unlimited Hydro races rescue team at the Gold Cup (& Seafair) races. I was assigned to ride in the USCG helicopter during the races. My job was to exit the helo with full SCUBA gear (Usually at a height of 20 to 30 ft. because they didn't land on floats like they do now.) and rescue the hydro driver if I could find him and get him into the basket so they could winch him up to the helo and take him to be treated. (Leaving me there, soaking in the hi-octane aviation fuel, untill a small boat picked me up.) The helo normally followed above and behind the racing boats on each heat.

The races are normally held in August and the temp's run a little warm, which can cause the helo hovering problems anyway and in this instance it was the first heat of the race and they had a full fuel load on board. Since it was the first heat and I just had gotten on board, I was getting comfy and getting myself & gear situated and had my brand new aviator Ray Ban sun glasses on my face. I normally sat on the canvas bench facing the door and was able to watch some of the race that way, We took off and almost immediately the USCG crewman signaled me to get to the door and jump. Now I'm a good sized person 6'2 220 and with a 3MM suit and single tank (No BC in those days) fins, mask two hose regulator. I slipped into my fins (Duck Feet)

I was a little cramped at best in that cabin. I managed to get into the door in a sitting postion with legs (fin clad) hanging in the breeze. All I could see was small splinters of boat debris and the wash from the helo's hovering blades. I also noticed that we looked pretty high. The crewman was giving me the signal to make a hasty exit. I jumped, making an effort to keep my body in an upright position and keeping a good grip on the tank harness crotch strap and the other on my mask. (Actually sun glasses.) :shades:

Well, I hit the water pretty hard, but in a good body position and when I surfaced I couldn't figure out why one eye was seeing grey/green with water spots and the other was clear. I reached up to my face and to my dismay :icon10: felt the bent frame of my sunglasses with only one lens intact. Luckily, I had put my mask around my neck when I had boadered the helo. so it would be handy. So, I knocked of the sunglasses and put my mask on. I was then able to find the Hydro driver and get him into the basket for the hoist. :beret:

 

[diver josh]

well i was tagging along with an open water class and they were doing a drill to buddy breathe to the surface and one guy next to me was giving me the out of air signal and i thought he was telling me to level off because i started to float up (3 min safety stop at 15 ft) i was like i am level then i realized he was doing the out of air signal and i was like i am not in your class then i finnaly realized that he was out of air (his 3rd time in a row) i gave him my octopus and he put it in his mouth upside down so i took it out of his mouth and turned it around for him so he didnt get a mouth full of water

 

[Mako Mark]

I am unfortunate in the fact that I have had a student die on me and while I dont nomally think of death as funny, this was.

It happened in the classroom.

I had a huge class (20) and knew that I would lose some during the mandatory medical in order to meet ratios. One guy had written yes next to epilepsy and asthma on the medical form. I knew that he would be rejected by the doc and told him to save the $40. He got furious at me and I decided to let him argue with the doc rather than me.

The nurse arrived to call out the questionable people and he was first.

He promptly stood up, turned purple then white and collapsed in full arrest on the floor. The nurse was screaming to get oxygen (which really is not that helpful to a non breathing person) I jumped on him and wacked him hard on the sternum.

I had seen this work on baywatch and figured what the hell.

At that point the doc, and 5'2" aussi lady ran in screaming "WHAT THE F**K DO YA THINK YUR DOIN???" and with amasing strength threw me across the room with visions that I had killed him and then said "YUR NOT DOIN IT HARD ENOUGH"

and proceeded to hit him even harder than I had.

He came out of frib, came around two minutes later and the before he could utter a word the doc screamed "BEFORE YOU GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE......

YOU OWE ME FOURTY BUCKS"

I didnt know whether to laugh or cry, I think I did both.

 

[scubadoguk]

Falling asleep during a lecture ! I was giving the lecture at the time :54:
Yes I was out alnight with a lady and I was tired out ooooooooooooo I wish I was that young again :sappy:

 

[waterduder2003]

I was instructing 8 new students in Ft. Lauderdale Florida and we had finished up the first dive of the morning. We were doing our safety stop at 15 feet when the pain hit. The pain told me that last nights beer and mexican food hadnt been the best of ideas on a weekend dive trip. I signed my divemaster to continue the safety stop and get everyone on board, then headed back down to the bottom to take care of business. I pulled off my bcd, and dropped one leg out of my top farmer john wetsuit. I got the jumpsuit part of my farmer john down to my knees and "started my business" when I stepped on my bcd inflator which immediately began to fill with air. I struggled with it to no evail. Sand had somehow lodged in the unit and try as I may, I was pulled to the surface by my second stage mouthpiece. All had boarded the boat and stood watching my naked tangled ass. Ill never live it down. Never.