Some thoughts about diving alone

[bowlofpetunias]

When I worked in the field.. after a fatality I could pretty much guarantee a number of the friends and family would ask me these two questions...

Was **** alone?

Did **** suffer?

Those questions were so consistent and the reactions to the answers were also consistent. When so many people ask the same questions.. IMHO it indicates the answers are important to the loved ones coping with their loss and finding closure.

After the death occurrs it is no longer about the deceased their issues are over.... it is all about the loved ones and helping them deal with their issues.

I would rather my loved ones who do not dive or understand my passion for it had the comfort of someone being able to offer them some answers that helped rather than made their pain worse.

Solo Divers have a right to make their choice.. but I suggest that anyone who makes that choice discuss this in depth with their loved ones so if they ever have to face the worst.. you have done what you could to ease their pain!

 

[wrybosome]

Does it make you feel any better?

Yes.
.

 

[Ana]

Of course you want your loved ones to die without pain or fear, but as a general rule death comes when it comes, and if you see it coming I can't imagine it not being scary.

When we deal with deaths caused by activities as opposed to illnesses your death won't fit in the calendar.

As a parent how many times we are willing to take their place in order to save them pain or sadness? very honorable but pretty useless, at the end instead of having one person with pain or sorrow you have two. However, it doesn't have to make sense, feelings are that way.

We can't let death dictate our life, most importantly we can't let one person's fears dictates OTHER person's life.

Does anyone really think that is any different to accept the death of a loved one if the death was: solo in the bottom of the ocean, solo in a car, in a stadium watching a game, shot by a police or by a criminal, blown away in war.
The death of a loved one sucks, unless it is your great great grand mother of 115 years of age death is not easy to accept, at least not to me.

 

[Cave Diver]

Right or wrong, some pretty accomplished divers have died while diving solo on pretty benign dives:

Wes Skiles
Steve Berman
John Bennett

At the very least it should serve as a reminder that there really are no "routine dives."
I have no idea if having a buddy would have changed the outcome for any of these men, but it certainly gives pause for thought.

 

[tomboyy]

Ascended post rapid ascent hopefully, and immediate incident witness recollection is poor even when trained, and unless you are glued to a buddy literally siamese by the head you will not have seen the same things during an entire dive except water or an island, and you should buddy up with unknowns in case you are tempted to follow someone that only causes you trouble up, let them die with some dignity without gabbing about it for pages and feeling guilt and sorrow about something there is no control over is ridiculous, and it was probably their fault anyway, and relying on a buddy for anything but company is negligent because they won't be able to help you with what you should have helped yourself with anyway, because by the time they realise something is going on you are gone and some people choose to go that way, and tomorrow I'm going to leave two minutes later to avoid the accident I had today.

Clear, concise and well thought out paragraph. Thank you.

BTW 2 questions

1. what color is the sky in your world

2. would it be possible for you to send the mother ship to my house... I beleive

Just poking fun

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I might die alone while diving. If I do, I want it to be because I knew and accepted the risks of diving alone. I want that control over my life, and the activities I pursue in life. I do not care if others want to analyze and judge whether or not I should have made that decision ... it is ME who has to live this life in this body ... not them. I'll take responsibility for the consequences of my decisions ... and I reserve the right to be responsible for them.

I have to believe that someone like Wes Skiles knew the risks, had carefully weighed them against the benefits of diving alone, and had made an informed decision. As an adult, and a diver with vast experience to draw on, I think he would want his family and friends to respect his right to make that choice.

It's always easy to play "if only" games when something bad happens to someone ... whether it's someone you care about or someone you don't even know. And it's human nature to want to be protective of those you love, and encourage them to not take the risks that sometimes lead them to their death. But yanno what? For a lot of people, it's not how you die that matters ... it's how you live. I don't know a thing about Wes Skiles ... but given his accomplishments, I have to believe he was a man who cherished his choices in life, and who used them to live his life to the fullest degree. Maybe this will sound a bit ghoulish to those who are inherently risk-averse ... but I think he died well.

Watching my mother slowly fade from life in a hospital bed over the past several months, all I can say is "please God, don't let me go like that" ... I'd way rather go out like Wes did ... even if it takes a couple of decades off the amount of time I have on this earth.

The choices we make in life determine the quality of our experiences. For those of us who make choices such as solo diving, our loved ones are simply going to have to understand ... and respect ... our right to make them. If it leads to a premature death ... well ... we went out on our own terms ... and, speaking strictly for myself, that's exactly how I want it to be.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Darnold9999]

I might die alone while diving. If I do, I want it to be because I knew and accepted the risks of diving alone. I want that control over my life, and the activities I pursue in life. I do not care if others want to analyze and judge whether or not I should have made that decision ... it is ME who has to live this life in this body ... not them. I'll take responsibility for the consequences of my decisions ... and I reserve the right to be responsible for them.

I have to believe that someone like Wes Skiles knew the risks, had carefully weighed them against the benefits of diving alone, and had made an informed decision. As an adult, and a diver with vast experience to draw on, I think he would want his family and friends to respect his right to make that choice.

It's always easy to play "if only" games when something bad happens to someone ... whether it's someone you care about or someone you don't even know. And it's human nature to want to be protective of those you love, and encourage them to not take the risks that sometimes lead them to their death. But yanno what? For a lot of people, it's not how you die that matters ... it's how you live. I don't know a thing about Wes Skiles ... but given his accomplishments, I have to believe he was a man who cherished his choices in life, and who used them to live his life to the fullest degree. Maybe this will sound a bit ghoulish to those who are inherently risk-averse ... but I think he died well.

Watching my mother slowly fade from life in a hospital bed over the past several months, all I can say is "please God, don't let me go like that" ... I'd way rather go out like Wes did ... even if it takes a couple of decades off the amount of time I have on this earth.

The choices we make in life determine the quality of our experiences. For those of us who make choices such as solo diving, our loved ones are simply going to have to understand ... and respect ... our right to make them. If it leads to a premature death ... well ... we went out on our own terms ... and, speaking strictly for myself, that's exactly how I want it to be.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Verly well said.

 

[Mike Boswell]

Grieving is not logical, it is emotional: How and why you die matters HUGELY to your family and friends.

A responsible person who truly cares about his family and friends will try to make sure that his death will not cause them to suffer.

 

[Chugwhump]

I think solo diving is just fine for you if you have learned how to do it and are geared correctly.
I do not enjoy diving alone.
It pretty much creeps me out.

The decision to always have a buddy is my personal decision.
I have made mine, I respect yours.

I have done one solo dive, off of my kayak, in 20' of water, on a calm day, about 9 years ago.
I was so creeped out after 3-4 minutes that I just had to abort.
I am no scaredy cat, but I was taught, drilled, brainwashed even, into always diving with a companion.
This being said, being under a dive boat alone in calm 30' water does not feel like a solo dive to me.
Jumping in and out of a private boat by myself in 10'-30' of calm water also does not feel like a solo dive to me.

I am so very very sorry that Mr. Skiles has moved on.
His body of work was a constant joy for me to behold.
I respect his decision to dive the way he wanted to.

Chug
Loves the pictures.

 

[cmburch]

There are different ways of looking at it. I could die alone while riding my bicycle, hiking, or skiing in a remote area. Maybe due to some health reason or accident, or combination. The same could be true of freediving or SCUBA diving. I can be partially chewed by crabs or other animals, or decompose a lot. In this case, would just get cremated so no one would see the damage.

Death is a part of life. Be as prepared as possible, such as thinking about insurance, burial, all the personal belongings loved ones will have to deal with, will, anything to make it easier on family members after you are gone. Also never think I will do something when I retire or visit someone you care about next year when I have the time. Try to do it now if possible. I also think how will my family do financially if I was gone tomorrow.