Then you must improve your own diving so you're empowered to make your own diving decisions. Don't rely on DMs or others to make those for you. As I've said several times, you're alone down there, even when there are other people around you.
Peter-
This all goes back to the post that i made a few months ago that resulted in my being lambasted about how safe diving in Belize is.
The fact that all dives in Belize are closely guided by local DMs invites tourists to feel like everything is being taken care of. I should just be able to follow along with the DM and have a safe dive.
My experience at the BH was that if you could not get down in a fairly short time, you were forced to bail out and swim back to the boat on the surface. There is a reason that i have heard AC DMs refer to the Bh trip as 'The Rodeo". They have people with questionable experience levels. They do not even really know anything about their experience levels. Divers who may have NO experience with being narced. They go to a depth where narcosis is fairly likely. They do this over a 450ft bottom, 2 hrs from help.
I do not know how much actual experience you have with diving in the states, but I do know that if this dive was in the states, in the Keys, log books would be mandatory and would be checked. Divers with less than an ideal amount of documentable experience would need to hire a personal DM for their buddy pair, and everyone else would simply be told that the "Pool is Open" be back in 2 hrs. The non-personally hired DMs would very likley never get wet.
I am not advocating this method, but when divers are required to stay with the DMs as they are in Belize, it is easy to assume that the DMs are there to manage their dives. It is especially easy for divers who have little experience.
You and I agree on almost every point. The amazing fact is that the mandatory guiding may have made the diving more dangerous since it encourages novice divers to dive beyond their comfort, experience, and training.
To the OP:
I have an 8 year old daughter who is extremely enthusiastic about diving. She has done a fair amount of snorkeling in belize and loves it. I work almost every week with training new divers with my local shop in Philadelphia. I have helped to train a lot of kids. I have logged at least 30 dives off San Pedro. I would be nervous about doing even local dives off San Pedro on Ambergris Caye with a child.
Dive Hol Chan with a safe experienced DM for your first dive. It is inside the reef and relatively shallow. Know what the tide is likely to be doing there. There can be a really strong current.
When you do go outside the reef, pick a really good weather day. The trip through the reef can be really rough. Getting in and out of a small boat when it is rough is not fun for anyone. After you are in the water with her, MANAGE YOUR AND HER PROFILES. It is easy for any dive outside the reef to be an 80ft dive. I have seen newbie divers get to 115 by simply tagging along with the DMs. You should be able to keep the dive in the 45ft range if you talk to the operator first and MANAGE YOUR PROFILE. Take a safety sausage. If you are staying relatively shallow, you might get seperated from the group and a sausage is great to have. The barrier reef is the lee shore of the entire Carribean. The reef can be an angry place. There can be surge, substantial currents and big waves. If the surf on the reef looks big, grab a kayak and go snorkeling inside the reef. It is great fun to free dive for conch and lobster in season while snorkeling on the reef.
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Oh, and talk about the nurse sharks before hand. They are sometimes overly friendly and can intimidate adults if they are not prepared for them.