Scared by diving accident! Help!

[Fotoz4FX]

We can all tell horror stories of near death experiences but the mind-set you had while getting your ribs crushed under that mooring line is something that only you experienced and only you can 'fix it'.
It took me nearly 2 years to get one particular student to flood her mask (part of the skill requirements to pass the course with PADI) but eventually she did it and it was all because she had a near-drowning accident as a child.
We all have limits, fears and goals and one of yours is to dive with your boyfriend who is moving on in his career, with or without you by his side. I can tell you only that you have reached a plateau, a point of memory that you can either let take control of your life or overcome and stop being the victim of experiences.
I was crushed by a truck, told I'd never walk again - I'm not only walking but I became an Over the road trucker for a few months. It's you that controls your footsteps so either put your shoes on or stay in bed.
Life is living, not fearing every step.

 

[Noboundaries]

Everybody has given you great advice. All I can offer is a story of one way to conquer personal fear.

I remember a motivation speaker (Zig Ziglar I believe) saying "Fear equals False Expectations Appearing Real." Yes, we all have bad things that happen to us, most often by surprise. Fear is an emotional condition that gives you the ability to recognize potentially harmful circumstances or situations, but that's where it should end. If you allow the fear free reign, it will manifest in your thoughts all kinds of false expectations that appear very real. If you allow the fear to remain and you continue with the situation or circumstance, chances are very good that you'll create in reality what you fear the most.

At the point of fearful recognition, your focus should shift to knowledge, procedure, skills, common sense, etc. In the situation described above, being new, you didn't have much of anything that could keep you out of trouble. Now you do. You have the experience that would cause you to give any mooring line a WIDE swath of respect.

I've been involved in quite a few potentially life ending vocations and hobbies. I've felt fear in each one. The most valuable lesson I learned came early in my 20's. It taught me what I needed to learn that would allow me to keep fear in its place for the rest of my life. In this particular circumstance I was paralyzed by fear of my own death. I knew a desired career would immediately end if I didn't overcome my fear; fear that was manifesting itself with nausea and a complete emotional breakdown. All I could picture in my mind was my firey death in an explosion caused by my failure to perform properly. The battle with the images of my fear lasted for hours. I had to either go ahead and place myself in harm's way or make a phone call that would end a career I'd been working toward since the day I started university.

With a deadline approaching and with no other acceptable choice at hand, I completely surrendered to the fear and accepted the worse that could happen. I accepted the possibility of my own death. I used self talk that said "If I die tonight, I'll die using the skills and knowledge I've acquired to the best of my ability. If I die, I'll die doing what I want to do, what I love to do. If it is time for me to die, I'm ready." At that point I switched my focus away from the fearful images in my mind and instead focused on my training, completely accepting that I'd been taught all I need to know to stay alive.

The fearful images and feelings evaporated immediately, replaced by a calm I could never explain. In the end I performed better that night than all my peers and actually won an award. I learned a valuable lesson that night about how to overcome my personal fear, the False Expectations Appearing Real in my mind.

 

[dmj1863]

We always scrare with something in this world . I believe we are only passing by this life so work on your scareness step by step. If it does not work don't push it . I scare of sky diving and cant overcome it - I live.

 

[Bob Vincent]

Hi ...

& Welcome to ...
:sblogo::colouredsmilies::colouredsmilies:

Between TSandM and In10se I can't add anything ... but to wish you luck!

 

[redrover]

Diving is not for every one. Too many strong words there make it hard for me to encourage you keep diving.

…Just as I was beginning to enjoy…. on …last dive before open water certification…then next dive ….refresher dive in a pool (presumably with an instructor and no boat or mooring line) and was petrified…hated every minute of it…vowed never…really am scared now…

No mention you got a kick out of any thing before the accident, sounded barely comfortable by the end of class, and next dive hated every minute of it?
Are the only reasons you want to dive you ‘dont like to feel left out and dont like him having to do it without a buddy he may never have met before’?

Maybe it’s just how you wrote this but none of that no fun even relates to boats and mooring lines. I sure don’t know all the boats and mooring lines around the world…but I have to wonder how you managed to get yourself squished like that. I’d have to try really hard to here, maybe it is easier than I realize elsewhere. Anyway, it is pretty simple to avoid boats altogether and still dive.

How does the BF feel about accompanying you not getting left out and hating every minute of it?

You sound to me to be trying to force yourself to do something you don’t have to do, have tried and didn’t like it. The objective in diving is enjoyment, why do you want to torture yourself so?

 

[floridanewbe]

Redrover makes a great point if your not having fun dont do it.

 

[DandyDon]

Hope you're able to get back into it okay. Heck, you've got a Rescue diver for a bud...!

 

[Merrimorte]

We can all tell horror stories of near death experiences but the mind-set you had while getting your ribs crushed under that mooring line is something that only you experienced and only you can 'fix it'.
It took me nearly 2 years to get one particular student to flood her mask (part of the skill requirements to pass the course with PADI) but eventually she did it and it was all because she had a near-drowning accident as a child.
We all have limits, fears and goals and one of yours is to dive with your boyfriend who is moving on in his career, with or without you by his side. I can tell you only that you have reached a plateau, a point of memory that you can either let take control of your life or overcome and stop being the victim of experiences.
I was crushed by a truck, told I'd never walk again - I'm not only walking but I became an Over the road trucker for a few months. It's you that controls your footsteps so either put your shoes on or stay in bed.
Life is living, not fearing every step.

Absolutely awesome words here! Indeed it is true. We can be overcome by our fears / difficulties and let them control us... or we can meet them head on and put them where they belong... underfoot! I have had many experiences to overcome in my life... Once you do, you feel powerful! You have more faith and confidence in yourself... your whole self image gets a boost! When you meet challenges in the future, you are in a better position to overcome. It is a matter of getting your mindset inline. I for one say... "Yeah well, I have been through worse or similar." and then I get through whatever life has to throw at me... both above and below the surface.

 

[Thetravellingscot]

The first dive was pretty rushed and not particularly well organised I think. I felt completely unprepared for being 10 metres down but once I got there I loved seeing all the fish. Part of the reason we enrolled in a 5 day padi course in Australia was so that i'd have more time to learn and hopefully be taught properly.

Before the accident I actually quite liked being down with the fish and was able to realx on the dives when I didn't have to flood my mask, simulate out or air situations etc! That stuff I know is necessary but I never enjoyed it.

 

[1TexasDiver]

Try treading water before you swim, crawl before you walk, ect........
What I'm trying to say is go slow,Fear is something that can be overcome. Maybe try snorkling from the beach or in a pool, get comfortable with that and move on.DO THIS FOR YOURSELF,not because you want your boyfriend to have a divebuddy.Also as a Rescuediver he is trained to look for signs of trouble and knowing your fears he should be able to assist you if a problem arrises.
Wishing you the best of luck
Rick