Sat out my first dive

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I want to thank everyone who has commented so far, I feel immensely better. This is exactly what I needed - to reaffirm that I was smart in my decision and that there are many divers (most if not all of you guys) with hundreds of dives who have ended a dive or dives before and it did not impede you from continuing in diving and experiencing this great sport! I think I speak for many new divers in that hiccups along the way feel way bigger or devastating than they actually are as we are still building our initial confidence in diving. And of course, I’ve read numerous stories of successful people in all sports /careers/walks of life who had huge screw ups or fears, doubts, or hiccups, great or small, who kept at it thankfully and became the best in their field. Thank you all again and I look forward to reading more responses and hopefully some other new divers can benefit from reading as well.
 
The wonderful sport of scuba diving is not without dangers, and I think it's important to be able to sit out, call a dive , speak up, or change dive plans when something doesn't feel right. Sometimes we miss out on a dive we had looked forward to, or feel like we waste money or time, but that's just the price we have to pay to be privileged enough to experience the underwater world. If we get sucked into doing dives we shouldn't because of the sunk cost fallacy, the price can be high. So be proud that you were able to speak up and sit out when it didn't feel right, it's an important skill to practice.

Now if it happens that you feel like you have to call dives or sit out frequently, then maybe think about changing the environment/exposure to fit your comfort level better, or look into whatever is making you uncomfortable to see what you can do to gain more confidence.
 
Very true. I suppose for a newbie diver it seems like all is going well then a hiccup kind of bruises your confidence whereas an experienced diver goes with the flow.
If that helps you, try to see it from the viewpoint of your husband: he’d rather see you safe than hurt because you pushed through a dive you didn’t want to do.

There is always another day for a dive if you come home safely :)

You mentioned that your buoyancy felt a bit off: one thing that is very useful is to learn to tell your buddy to pause/stop so you can calm or sort yourself out.

The signs to tell your buddy to stop because you have an issue are:
  • Stop (closed fist or open hand 🤚)
  • Wobbly hand to say you are not ok/have an issue
  • Point at yourself to indicate the source of the issue (or you can point at the inflator if you need to sort out your buoyancy I guess)
 
So we had lunch, played gear show and tell, and hung out. May not have been the day we planned, but it was a good day.
Long story short, it happens to everyone.... And a day hanging out with your dive buddies (even if you don't dive) beats doing chores around the house!
^^^ This, if the dive doesn't work out, just go have fun in the place you are visiting and enjoy! I've gone to the local pub on a number of occasions when a dive didn't work out and just enjoyed that experience.

Sometimes we miss out on a dive we had looked forward to, or feel like we waste money or time, but that's just the price we have to pay to be privileged enough to experience the underwater world.
^^^^ And this, never worry about the money. Sure, worst case scenario, you lose out on a $100 bucks or something. But in the grand scheme of things, it's a minor thing to ensure that you are safe at the end of the day.
 
Very early on in diving we went to a local quarry to do some 'fun dives'. It was cold water, and I really, really, really wanted to like cold water diving and be part of the local dive community. I bought a hooded 8/7 that zipped across the chest, so I'd be warm and comfy. I had SUCH anxiety about getting the stupid thing on - the wrist holes were teeny (and I have small hands/wrists) and I tried trash bags, baby soap and hair conditioner. On the day of the first dive I struggled into the wetsuit and was already hyperventilating from the tugging - and that horrible feeling of claustrophobia for a microsecond when I pulled a thick hood down over my face. We got in the water and I thought "I'll just calm down for a minute" and then saw my Sea Drops (defog) floating away from me at the surface, and all I could think was "I AM NOT GOING AFTER MY DEFOG!". We dropped down a few feet and I was in full panic. Thumbed the dive.

Also, like @BoundForElsewhere, if I've been out of the water for a while my first dive is a little rough. I will stay at the surface for a few minutes and take a few extra deep breaths before I descend.
 
Not diving when you don't feel right is a good decision, especially for a new diver. It is a recreational activity. It is far better to bail on a dive before it starts, than to have a panic attack and endanger yourself and others.

Perhaps this decision will give you more confidence on the next outing, because you have proved to yourself that you will not succumb to pressure (from yourself or others) to make a dive that you are not prepared for. Knowing that you can and will bail if things feel weird, may decrease the amount of pressure your feel to make a particular dive and help to lower your pre-dive anxiety.
 
Calling a dive for feeling a little off (or any other reason, whether you’re able to articulate it or not) is perfectly normal. No big deal. A good dive buddy will understand completely, no questions asked.
 
I have to get to work, so I quickly read through the thread, and this is probably already posted, but just in case, remember the "rule" that says "any diver can call any dive of theirs for any reason, without getting crap from anyone else"
 
I'm a new diver as well, although I've always been very comfortable in the water (and originally did dive training way back in 1982, but just didn't have the opportunity and finances to actually get back to getting certified until now!) We did our first 3 skills dives in Vortex Springs, FL but the hotel I was in was right on a local highway and I had gotten maybe 5 hours of sleep the night before. Just a little tired for that first day but not a problem. The next day we were to dive in the Gulf of Mexico, meeting up an hours drive from where we were staying at 5 o'clock in the morning... I barely got 2 and half hours of sleep that night so I showed up at the dive shop and told my instructor that I wouldn't be diving as I was far too sleep deprived (a situation akin to be "buzzed", if not drunk) and even had a bit of upper sinus stuffiness. I wasn't nervous about the dive or my skills or anything, and I'm sure it was a fairly safe environment as there were many, very attentive, dive instructors and DMs watching over us, but I still felt it better to cancel.

I was quite surprised that this instructor, a very experienced, accomplished technical and cave diver with many thousands of dives over decades of experience who often mentioned during training the adage that anyone may cancel a dive for any reason, no questions asked (other than, perhaps, "Are you ok?" after surfacing) immediately responded with "But you HAVE to dive! You won't get your certification without getting one more dive in." I told him the situation and he immediately agreed that if I wasn't comfortable I shouldn't dive, but he very much surprised me with that response, I will admit. I'll be finishing my certification with another dive this next weekend, but I'm convinced it was still the right thing to do. Even if the situation was one being surrounded by many dive instructors and dive masters watching over all of us I would hate to be the one that just did that one stupid mistake because I just wasn't thinking straight and suddenly everyone else's final certification dives gets cancelled and they all have to do it again some other time because some potential emergency that involved needing to get me evacuated. It wouldn't have been good for anyone if I had made that decision to dive and something had happened.

If it's not obvious I very much agree that it's better to call a dive any time you feel it's "not right" than to take the risk that something might go wrong. It's one thing to push through anxiety and just general anxiousness to dive, but too many close-call and really bad dive stories start with "Something just didn't feel right", it seems to me. Better safe than sorry, especially when a bad outcome could affect a whole lot more folks than just you.
 
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