Sat out my first dive

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@davecampbell I appreciate your attitude and outlook and I definitely agree - this is a wild sport with all kinds of factors - good times and learning experiences to embrace.
 
Thanks for sharing! As the other folks have said, there is no issue here at all. If you think you need to call a dive, You do need to call a dive! When you start trying to gut it out, that's when mistakes begin to pile up an accidents happen. To put it in perspective, my dive buddy is a tech diver. She regularly makes 165'+ deco dives, carrying two deco gasses. We also recently finished our intro cave class and she's got north of 250 dives. So yeah, she's an accomplished diver. I'll let you in on a little secret, she still gets nervous before every dive and we've both called dives! Neither of us have ever once regretted calling a dive!
 
First and foremost, as others have said, good job on having the courage to make the call (and on your husband and the DM for being supportive of it). My kids often dive with me (13 and 17)... We always stick to "anyone can call the dive at anytime". This includes before hand, during, standing on the dive platform, ANYTIME.
All three of us have call dives at various points for various reasons (I've called a dive in benign springs conditions because I was just not in a good headspace). There should never be any hard feelings about it.
Most significant I've had was a 10 hour drive to dive with another vintage enthusiast... He made it 5 minutes into the dive before calling it because he just felt "off". So we had lunch, played gear show and tell, and hung out. May not have been the day we planned, but it was a good day.
Long story short, it happens to everyone.... And a day hanging out with your dive buddies (even if you don't dive) beats doing chores around the house!

Respectfully,

James
 
Does it really matter?
Well if the depth of the dive has nothing to do with whether the dive gets thumbed due to anxiety for a new diver we could start a poll of new divers who have thumbed a dive for anxiety and what was the depth of the dive.

In my beginner diver career increased depth was correlated with increased anxiety.

If new divers could get a bunch of dives at 30 feet where they could easily do a CESA I think they could work on skills in a more comfortable environment without feeling a lot of pressure.

The best advice I was given as a beginner was be conservative.
 
At 20 something dives, skipping a dive seems like a huge deal. It certainly was for me, but budget was an issue at the time and it felt like I was wasting money. Not that I ever did skip a dive, I went whatever, even when anxious, cold or unwell. Not very clever. A lot more dives later and skipping a dive is nothing of consequence.
 
Well if the depth of the dive has nothing to do with whether the dive gets thumbed due to anxiety for a new diver we could start a poll of new divers who have thumbed a dive for anxiety and what was the depth of the dive.

In my beginner diver career increased depth was correlated with increased anxiety.

If new divers could get a bunch of dives at 30 feet where they could easily do a CESA I think they could work on skills in a more comfortable environment without feeling a lot of pressure.

The best advice I was given as a beginner was be conservative.
The majority of my dives have been around this depth, so I don’t think that was the cause for my anxiety this time, however, I wanted to do a dive at ~ 70-75ft for this very reason before going on a deeper dive since getting my advanced cert so I can definitely appreciate how depth related anxiety can be a thing. I’ll more than likely repeat a successful dive at ~70 ft depth before doing a deeper dive. I def agree that conservative diving is never a bad thing.
 
At 20 something dives, skipping a dive seems like a huge deal. It certainly was for me, but budget was an issue at the time and it felt like I was wasting money. Not that I ever did skip a dive, I went whatever, even when anxious, cold or unwell. Not very clever. A lot more dives later and skipping a dive is nothing of consequence.
Very true. I suppose for a newbie diver it seems like all is going well then a hiccup kind of bruises your confidence whereas an experienced diver goes with the flow.
 
Hey guys! I’m a newer diver - 20 something dives under my belt. I have my advanced SDI cert with nitrox. I’ve dived locally and internationally in the past year. I recently sat out my first dive.

My husband I went out on a local charter, which we have done before. I always get very nervous before dives - a lot of my anxiety was related to setting up my gear on the boat but I’ve since practiced numerous times and feel much better about that part now, and we arrived to the boat earlier this time so I was able to set up at my own pace, which was actually fairly quick! However, when we entered the water, I was fine at first but shortly after my husband descended and met me, I started to feel short of breath and a little nervous. The visibility was a little less that I what I remember it being before, however, this was our first ocean dive since last dive season and my husband assures me the visibility is as it usually is so it may have just been me. Our first dive this season was in the springs so perhaps I was comparing it to that kind of clarity. I also feel like my buoyancy was a little off and I was initially kicking a little more than I needed to which tired me out. Anyways, I signaled that something was wrong and we ended up making our way to the mooring line and ascending.

I sat out the second dive - I just felt “off” that day and was even a little teary before we drove to the dive site - from nerves. I do get very nervous before dives but have learned to push thru nerves and I always do fine and end up very happy I dived! It’s usually pre-dive nerves and once I descend I’m pretty much ok.

My husband and the DM were supportive and both commended me on not panicking and safely ending the dive, and the DM suggested on the second dive that I take my time on the line establishing buoyancy and feeling ok before I explore the wreck but I just wasn’t feeling it.

I felt like crap for the rest of the day because I’ve never bailed on a dive or sat out a dive before, I feel like I ruined my husband’s dive when he lost his dive buddy, I felt like we wasted money, and I simply felt disappointed in myself.

I guess I’m looking to hear stories of people who are active divers who sat out after having an “off” day as I described it to my husband and DM. I know I can’t be the only one and I don’t know why I feel like such crap about it. Despite always being nervous this time I was just a different kind of nervous, not in quite the right mental state and I just trusted myself.

Also, if anyone could offer up any advice in general regarding nerves - usually I do push through them, but it really does suck to feel so nervous regardless, my husband feels way more excited and doesn’t have many nerves - but I do like diving and want to learn to enjoy it even more! I feel I need to change my mindset a bit - instead of being nervous the night before I should look forward to diving and think about the positives. No one is making me do it and I’m going to have fun.

Thank you for commiserating with me, I know I’m not the only one to sit out a dive but still go on to enjoy diving and have many successful dives, I suppose it just feels embarrassing and shameful to have done so but I’m going to try to move past it and change my mindset about my next dive.
You were right to end the dive and return topside and get back on the charter. I advise everyone I dive with to end, pull out of or modify a dive in the event they are uncomfortable, stressed or not able to get their breathing and comfort to return to where they feel good. I will call a dive and have called a dive in an instant. Being short of breath is an indicator something is not right. Safely returning to the surface was a correct decision. I went diving with people a couple of years ago and the ocean water was pea green like pea soup. On entering the water the visibility was >10 feet. I have 30+ years of diving and made the decision to get back on the charter. There was no reason to be in the ocean taking pictures and seeing marine life if you could not see them.
 

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