RIP Lisa LeJeune, my wife and dive buddy

[waynel]

Going diving in Cozumel in two days. Do it every year. This is my first year going solo. My beloved wife, Lisa, who had the most graceful dive profile in the water I ever saw, passed away almost one year to the very day I'm leaving. She was a gifted and talented third grade teacher for 29 years. On May 29, 2014, the last day of school with her kids and the last day of her career (she was retiring), we discussed our Cozumel dive trip together that was only four days away. As I walked out the door, the last words she ever said to me were "Have a great day baby, just four days to paradise!" Three hours later I got a call from her principal to go to the hosptial. Lisa had suffered a massive brain hemorrage and collapsed in her classroom. An hour after getting to the hospital, a priest was administering the last rites.

One year later, while I have been spearfishing on the rigs in the Gulf of Mexico (Louisiana), this is the first recreational trip without her. It took me three days to hit the "book it" button on the pc. How could I possibly go without her? It was the advise of my diving friends who convinced me that Lisa would want to take this trip, to "complete the circle of grief" as it were. And in the end, they are right. While we did many things together throughout all our decades together, diving was our passion...through basic, advanced, nitrox, etc. we dove just about every site throughout the Caribbean and US Atlanctic coast.

Next time you're "diver down" please pull your reg and blow Lisa a kiss. She requested cremation and she will be buried at sea...as she called it "my Zen place." Love and cherish every dive my friends. What we do is so special.

 

[morey000]

<sniff> so sorry for you loss.

Poke at something dangerous, in her memory

 

[DandyDon]

Yes, I am sure she would have wanted you to return to Coz - or that's my guess. I have no idea how it will feel, and don't feel bad it the emotions may be overwhelming at times, but it's a good idea.

As we discussed in your other thread on the Coz forum, I hope I see you there. I'm loaded, just checked my flights and improved my seats. Looking forward to meeting you, I hope.

 

[KeithG]

Tough situation and I commend you for bringing it up. This is not something most of us want to think about. Thank you!

This points out that some of us old buggers need to proactively start to look to our potential futures. This is a situation that either myself or my divebuddy will confront at some point in the (near) future. How to carry on? Should we carry on? Vacation diving is a very important part of our current lives.

We are both very ardent vacation divers. She was certified 1 year before me and has 13 more dives than me (but who's counting?). I have only had 1 divebuddy in my life. I have not given any thought about my "next" divebuddy (other than they need to be [-]way better[/-] more tolerant than my current one!)

Over the years we have developed an incredible dive buddy synergy based upon a limited set of dive types we enjoy and dive them in a set style. Our dive plans have become as simple as "90 for 90" which may elicit the response of "80 for 60 because I feel a little bit tired" and then we exchange OKs to confirm a maximum depth of 80 FSW for a maximum bottom time of 60 minutes. This dive planning "negotiation" only takes several seconds. AND it is implied that we always do EVERY available night dive. We both know what type of dive we want to do and what style we will dive it in.

The only real decision is to splash or NOT. Since we primarily do Bonaire and liveaboards we often have the choice of saying NO to a dive and taking a nap instead. No pressure to get wet!

I realize it will require significant retraining for either of us to adapt to a new dive buddy (being very selfish, i hope I die first!)

I am very interested in getting feedback on your trials and tribulations as you launch into your new dive world. Can you find a world where you can continue to dive the "types" of dives you enjoy in the "style" of dives you enjoy?

If I die last, my only thoughts are about me going to Bonaire and sitting on a dock soliciting dive buddies (anyone want to dive? Who needs a buddy? Get yur buddy here!) This may creep out the younger generation? Dock hermit?

---------- Post added May 27th, 2015 at 02:57 AM ----------

P.S. Join the Pub!

 

[miked]

Sorry for your loss. A tough situation, but fwiw, if you feel that you can, continue to celebrate her life and memory by diving.

 

[waynel]

Thanks ya'll. Yes, as men, we always think we will go before our wives. I have found, through grief counseling, that while women are much more emotionally about losing their husbands, they handle it better than we do. It's a fact that most men go before their wives and it just seems unatural to us the other way around. Thanks again, and Don, I answered your PM. Let's get together, I'll be there tomorrow afternoon.

 

[diver 85]

Wayne, it's been a while since we 'talked' here on SB---------so sorry hear all this----but -have a great time..Will have to get back with each other after you return.....Again, hoping you have a good trip, will be hard under the circumstances but enjoy as much as possible....

 

[oldschoolto]

Go and enjoy COZ... She will be with you... Trust me...Jim...

 

[Lopez116]

Wayne, I don't know you, but feel a certain kinship with you as a fellow diver and member of this online community. I am sorry for your loss and hope you find peace. Enjoy your trip and know that she will be with you. God bless.

 

[waynel]

Wayne, it's been a while since we 'talked' here on SB---------so sorry hear all this----but -have a great time..Will have to get back with each other after you return.....Again, hoping you have a good trip, will be hard under the circumstances but enjoy as much as possible....

Absolutely! I have been spearfishing off the rigs out of Grand Isle. Shot a 65LB Amberjack last August. I remember when you and I talked about doing so Gulf diving years ago. Again, absolutely let's get together and thanks for your kind words.

---------- Post added May 27th, 2015 at 02:15 PM ----------

This is my last post before my trip. Leaving at 6am and when I hit the island I don't go near a computer :blinking:
Again, thanks everyone. I know this is a cliche, but I mean it when I say your words of kindness have been a big help. Don't know how I'll feel on that first dive but I really needed your encouragement. Look for a post on my trip when I get back June 5th (Cozumel section in regional forums).