Right On or Rude?

[SheriffMedic]

I agree that the DM did the right thing. If they sucked air that bad, they had no business being embarrased by ANY help. The number of years diving doesnt really have any bearing on the quality of the diver. I have known people certified in the early 70's that are still not good divers today. If someone saw an improvement I needed to make, I would hope they would speak up. I would rather be an imbarrased good diver than a sucky confident diver.

FD

Excellent post. I always say, "It doesnt matter how long that card has been in your wallet suckin up *** sweat, its how long you've been subsurface blowing bubbles".

 

[TheYellowSubmarine]

Another thing to concider about being taken aside and told privately: Everyone else will see you've been taken aside, and when you get back, will probably ask you about it. Then *YOU* have to explain what it was about, which could be even more embarrassing. I think it'd be better just for everyone to hear it. The other divers might learn something from it too.

 

[TSandM]

Personally, I might be stung by somebody saying something like that (or maybe not, if it was done with humor) but I would be very grateful for the advice and coaching. But then again, I'm determined to get BETTER at this . . .

 

[ramblinpaul]

Since a "couple" of people were diving overweighted, and seemed to be oblivious to this fact shows they where in need of help. Obviously, they have not received that assistance and guidance in the past. So kudos to the DM for offering his expertise to help them and improve the overall diving experience.

Though I feel that tact is always important and should be exercised to preserve peoples pride and harmony on the dive boat. Perhaps the DM could have exercised better tact.

Did anyone help the DM with improving his tact?

 

[RadRob]

I would rather be embarrassed once in front of everyone on the boat instead of making everyone come up early and get them ticked off multiple times. The people who take criticism as a slam need to change their outlook on life. Criticism is supposed to be constructive and meant to improve your skills. I like criticism, in fact, I encourage it. The DM has a business to run and if he ticks 1 or 2 guys of while pleasing the majority, so be it.

If these guys had thought they were "experienced" divers and they didn't want to be criticized or helped, they probably needed to be knocked down a peg or two anyway. Those who are offended or embarrassed by it need to check their ego at the dock when they board. My experience is most scuba divers are laid back and would take the comments as the DM joking but getting his point across. After all, he didn't say "you suck as a diver. You need to learn how to dive."

I applaud the DM for trying to remedy the situation by sharing air, but wouldn't advocate that at all. After quite a few dives and he is comfortable with their skill level, that is one thing, but going 2 or 3 times with a vacationing diver is not enough time to know if he/she has the skill set to do something like this safely.

As for having the attitude of "it is not my problem," it will be hard to find a buddy to go with you if that is your mindset. Take the pointers and improve your skills so you "won't be that guy." That will make people more likely to want to dive with you. As a new diver, one would expect you to consume more air than the others due to anxiety, but if you have "been diving for 10 years" you should know how to breathe properly. And yes, there is a difference between holding your card for 10 years and actually using it.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Right on, Rob. That's my mindset too, no matter if I'm flying a plane, diving, performing a medical skill, or handling firearms. Having been in the military, I've grown a thick skin anyway. Anything anyone can offer to help me improve my safety, diving technique, or air consumption: I'm all ears.

 

[vondo]

Another thing to concider about being taken aside and told privately: Everyone else will see you've been taken aside, and when you get back, will probably ask you about it. Then *YOU* have to explain what it was about, which could be even more embarrassing. I think it'd be better just for everyone to hear it. The other divers might learn something from it too.

It sounds like there was a decent surface interval, maybe even an on-shore one. In that case, there are plenty of opportunities for the DM to chat with the two without making it look like they are being reprimanded.

I've gotten advice from DMs before (first few dives out), but no one has ever said anything to me as rude as "Now I'll teach you to breath like a diver." If I did, I'd like to think that I would take the advice to heart, but I certainly would be peaved at the DM. On my next trip, I intend to *ask* the DM(s) to give me advice, but as others have said, *how* you do it is key.

This DMs approach reminded me of my friend, who jokingly says "There are no stupid questions, only stupid students."

 

[speedhound]

Amen.

How much could it hurt to approach the problem from another tack eg.

"couldn't help but notice you're shifting a lot of air, do you mind if I make a couple of suggestions? In my experience a couple of small changes can make a big difference." helpful, polite etc. the suggestion is not rammed down the embarrassed divers' throats.

sounds a lot better than

"now I'll teach you how to breathe like a scuba diver" (I paraphrase, but that's how it would come across to me) how patronising is that?

No sensible diver's going to say no, but if you've got some idiot who thinks he's good enough and won't listen to advice, then you point out that his inability to dive well is affecting the rest of the group.

Cheers,

I'm with Larry's tack here. I feel much more comfortable offering a "suggestion" to someone...sometimes even throw in a white lie "hey, I used to find xyz (insert problem here) a real pain/difficult/awkward - but since I have done abc (insert solution/improvement) it's less of a problem - would you like to give it a go?"

I think this puts people more at ease rather than barking out an order or "smart" comment, and psychologically you're saying to the person that you've experienced the same thing as they are --"empathy"?

There's nothing above that I wouldn't to hear in front of anyone else...and have had said to me in front of others.

 

[Walter]

He did the right thing, but not the right way.

 

[Charlie99]

He did the right thing, but not the right way.

Nice summary of 50+ posts!