The Chairman
Chairman of the Board
Precisely. The sweep was developed for a diver kneeling on the bottom. I works perfectly in that situation but flat out fails in the "Scuba Position" with a short or long hose. The Scuba Position, as coined by @mselenaous, is a horizontal, flat attitude off the bottom and below the surface.OTOH, if I lose my primary for real, it'll be dangling from its hose somewhere around my right shoulder D-ring, so maybe that's what you mean about the sweep being stupid?
With a long hose, you simply find where it lies on your neck. No sweep needed.
With a short hose, you tilt your head down a tad and the hose appears on your right. If it's stuck behind your back, a simple barrel CW barrel roll should reveal it, but you should put your bungeed octo in first.