I thank you all for your replies to this post. I'd like to clarify a few things about my original post. First, I chose not to name the operator because I do not believe they did anything technically wrong. I am not trying to get back at them or hurt them in any way; I was mostly curious how others felt about it. It just bummed me out a little that I missed the cancellation deadline by two days.
Secondly, this is a trip to Raja Ampat, which is still another 5 months away, and the operator has re-booked our cabin. Not that it benefits me. They did give me the option of finding someone myself to take my cabin who could then pay me my deposit, but that wasn't a real option for me. They also gave me the option of transferring our deposit to another period. We cannot do that. I guess what annoys me a bit is that they get the booking price from the people who got our cabin plus another 2 grand from us. But that's their prerogative.
Thirdly, we are not cancelling because of an emergency. My husband's office scheduled something he absolutely cannot miss. C'est la vie.
Lastly, we did purchase trip insurance. I would never book a $20,000 trip without it. Hopefully the process will go smoothly getting the money.
They did lose a future customer in me, though. I was already heartbroken to have to cancel this trip I've been dreaming about, so it kind of added insult to injury.
Anyway, thanks again for all the input.