Here's what really happens:
The "CAUTION" message comes up on the EICAS (an electronic status indicating system), and the Master Caution light illuminates! We say: "CR*P!" and start looking at things to find out what's going on. The "WARNING" message comes up along with the Cabin Pressurization Checklist, and the Master Warning Light. The bell goes off, literally! We say: "Sh*t!!!" and grab our masks!
The presure demand masks we now have are easy to don. They look an awful lot like the "face-hugger" creature from the movie "Alien"!:wacko:
We begin the process of notfying ATC (Air Traffic Control), turning off the airway, closing the throttles, putting out the speedbrakes, and pointing the nose down for our rapid descent.
In the cabin, there are lots of, as mentioned earlier, "cries of amazement" (understandably so), and lots of fumbling around with the "rubber jungle" that has fallen out of the overhead!
We will be down to 10,000 feet MSL shortly, and we will then be able to remove the masks, and begin sorting things out. The process will involve diverting into a suitable near-by airfield, and having maintenance fix the problem. We will then proceed on to our destination, albeit somewhat grumpy at having been delayed.
All of us will proceed EXCEPT, however, for those of us who have pushed the limits of the Flying After Diving rules, especially those who practice the infamous "Wet Hair" procedure. As has been aptly pointed out by Doc Deco, they will be going to whatever location has the nearest hyperbaric chamber for treatment of their now evident pain and suffering!
ity:
Thus endeth lesson Number #1 in Aircraft depressurization Basic Procedures!