Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[WOODMAN]

A guy comes home and plops down in his recliner, and says to his wife-"Honey, bring me a beer..it's almost time for it to start!" She looks at him and shrugs, but brings him a beer. He drinks the beer, and then says "honey, bring me another beer! It's gonna start any second now!" She again looks at him, but goes away and brings him another beer. He drinks this, and then says again "honey, please bring me another beer! It's almost started!" She again looks at him, and then says "I don't understand you. I have been home here all day, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of your house-" and then he cut her off and said "Ah, it's started"

I told this to my dentist, and he laughed so hard he almost dropped his little mirror. His female assistant was on the other side of the partition, and I heard her call out "Not Funny, Woody!"

 

[Divergirl4U]

 

[Divergirl4U]

 

[Divergirl4U]

 

[m3830431]

Good one

 

[mlkco]

We will have a Black president when pigs fly.

And then Swine Flu

 

[WOODMAN]

Tonto and the Lone Ranger were spending the night out on the prairie, when Tonto rolled over and said "Kemosabe- you awake?" The Lone Ranger said "I am now, old friend. What's on your mind?" Tonto said "look up, Kemosabe; what you see?" The Lone Ranger said "well, I see a deep, inky black sky filled with a billion tiny stars, and somehow it makes me feel very small. What do you see, old chum?" Tonto replied "me see- someone steal tent!"

 

[Timoblue]

Chuckled at this one.

Granny

 

[m3830431]

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God’s work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

 

[mike_s]

hmmm.... seems we've had some jokes deleted here....