OP
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
- Thread starter sandshaker
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
wstein
Contributor
eggs over easy....yummmy!!
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
santafejoe
Contributor
How about if i wake you when the WEEK is OVER.
wstein
Contributor
can we use a cattle prod to wake ya?
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
hmmm...yeah..cuz that is what it will take 
TANX U
TANX U
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
Celebrity Obituaries
Tiger Woods at Six Under
Col. Sanders Kicks the Bucket
Mike Myers, "Wayne's World" Star, Lives -- Not!
Lee Iacocca Recalled by Maker
Paul Prudhomme: Stick a Fork in Him, He's Done
George W. Bush Deceasifies
Clinton Doesn't Inhale
Gore Gets Less Stiff
Yogi Berra Wakes Up Dead
Ed McMahon's Relatives May Have Already Inherited 10 MILLION DOLLARS!
Autopsy Confirms Death of Keith Richards
Sahl Mort
Meat Loaf Goes Cold
Roger Ebert: 10 Toes Up
Tiger Woods at Six Under
Col. Sanders Kicks the Bucket
Mike Myers, "Wayne's World" Star, Lives -- Not!
Lee Iacocca Recalled by Maker
Paul Prudhomme: Stick a Fork in Him, He's Done
George W. Bush Deceasifies
Clinton Doesn't Inhale
Gore Gets Less Stiff
Yogi Berra Wakes Up Dead
Ed McMahon's Relatives May Have Already Inherited 10 MILLION DOLLARS!
Autopsy Confirms Death of Keith Richards
Sahl Mort
Meat Loaf Goes Cold
Roger Ebert: 10 Toes Up
OP
sandshaker
Contributor
A Friends Oath
This is probably the most honest "friendship" poem ever penned...
When you are sad,.............I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking b*st*rd/****** who made you sad.
When you are scared,......... I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried,.........I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
When you are confused,........I will use little words to explain it to your dumb a5s.
When you are sick.........I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.
When you fall......I will point and laugh at your clumsy a5s.
This is my oath...............I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?..............Because you're my friend.
This is probably the most honest "friendship" poem ever penned...
When you are sad,.............I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking b*st*rd/****** who made you sad.
When you are scared,......... I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried,.........I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.
When you are confused,........I will use little words to explain it to your dumb a5s.
When you are sick.........I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.
When you fall......I will point and laugh at your clumsy a5s.
This is my oath...............I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?..............Because you're my friend.
santafejoe
Contributor
These last two SandShaker I LMFAO a lot. 
minikinminx
Contributor
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Similar threads
