"Oh, you're a diver too?"

[sealkie]

I`m sure your husband is a fine person - I`m not judging him - I`ve never met him and don`t know him - but the person you described in your post does not sound so nice .. really ... you made him sound like a jerk. ( I know - he`s not - but thats what you made it sound like )


What I was getting at was maybe you misunderstood him when you thought he was discouraging you from following the teaching route - thats why I asked what he said / did to discourage you. Maybe if he was discouraging you it was for reasons he thought were in your best interest. ( If you let someone discourage you from doing this how much could you have really wanted it yourself. )

Now he is suggesting you could assist him and / or teach some classes - maybe he thinks your a GREAT photographer - that COULD be encouragement - it depends how you want to look at it - maybe you need to lighten up and give him a break

I don`t know you - i don`t know him - I`m not judging eithr of you - just suggesting that his point of view mught not be as bad as you think

 

[nitroxbabe]

I'm not suggesting that this is the case....I'm only playing devils advocate, but since I don't know you or your experience, I have no way to know if this applies....

Perhaps enjoying the "cool" factor of being a diver is more important too you than the actual diving.
Perhaps you ARE overly sensitive and become upset or even flustered over relatively minor issues.
Perhaps your husband sees that and fears for your safety should something serious actually occur.
Perhaps having a slightly ticked off wife is better than a more gruesome alternative.

Without a knowledge of your actual skill level or personallity, all possibilities must be considered. It is quite possible that his attitude may be borne of a very deep and fundamental love for you and your saftey.

On the other hand.... I might be just narc'ed.

Ummmmm.... OK.... not that I'm suggesting that this is the case, because I don't know anything about your training or experience, of course....

I'm sure you're not intending to be incredibly boorish. Is it possible that someone slipped something into your crack pipe which caused you to become so rude?

Or perhaps you didn't quite get your real meaning across in your post, Aquabob. I'd hate to think you actually meant to imply that someone you've never met is an incompetant diver and potentially mentally unstable to boot, because that's how it reads to me! Wow.

 

[Walter]

I know you both. I like you both. I sincerely hope you both get past this quickly. You are two of the "good ones."

Let's go diving.

 

[nitroxbabe]

I know you both. I like you both. I sincerely hope you both get past this quickly. You are two of the "good ones."

Let's go diving.

Hiya Walter -
Thanks for the kind post. This too will pass. I've gotten some good support and suggestions here which I appreciate (in addition to some not-so-good ones ).

I STILL want to come down & hang with the goliath groupers with you one of these days....

Your pal Carla

 

[Walter]

Carla,

Either or both of you are welcome any time.

Walter

 

[Sean C]

Hi Carla,

Since my name is on this, I implore you to acknowledge, I mean no disrespect. My wife and I are only O/W certified so you and most of the others here, are diving guru's to us, (at least according to your cert's).

My wife and I are huge skiers. She is good, she will go down any hill, will ski off piste, through trees, etc. I am an advanced skier, I have raced, instructed, cat-skied, heli-skied, virtually everything. We always ski together.

But, there is no way she could teach anything higher than level 1 (basic) and that is only because she is great with kids and has a fun attitude towards the sport. Beginners would appreciate her, in that regard.

Simply put, she is not proficient enough and she knows it. With that said, I would tell her outright that she should not teach skiing, but I would encourage her to improve her skills and then persue her instructors rating when she was better. I would help her as much as I could.

Is it possible that your s/o feels you are not on the same level as he is? You have your rescue according to your profile, but don't you need your divemaster as a pre-req for being an assistant instructor and then an instructor? Maybe by asking you to be his divemaster he is trying to get you more into the idea of instructing and get you to gain more experience, hence be better.

Hell, I take great pride in the fact that my wife will ski any run and if anyone ever treated her as a second class citizen, I would just sit back and let her handle the situation. She has made car mechanics cry.

Note: Andrea can do tons of things better than I can and I would expect her to point that out to me if the situation ever arose. She was the first to tell me I was not mature enough for kids, nuff said.

Sean

 

[AquaBob]

Ummmmm.... OK.... not that I'm suggesting that this is the case, because I don't know anything about your training or experience, of course....

I'm sure you're not intending to be incredibly boorish. Is it possible that someone slipped something into your crack pipe which caused you to become so rude?

Or perhaps you didn't quite get your real meaning across in your post, Aquabob. I'd hate to think you actually meant to imply that someone you've never met is an incompetant diver and potentially mentally unstable to boot, because that's how it reads to me! Wow.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I certainly wasn't trying to be boorish, nor was I trying to imply that I thought that you were incompetent or mentally unstable.

I thought that I was just presenting a possible (NOT PROBABLE) alternative to ' the guy is just a big jerk ' messages that have been posted.

I hope you regain you "cool" soon.

 

[Trisha]

As posted by nitroxbabe
"Drysuit Dave: I understand what you're saying & there is indeed much truth there. However, understand that we took up diving together. We sat side by side in the classroom and floundered around in Lake Wazee together on our first check-out dive. It was something we took up as a couple: we WERE equals and partners in this. Now, I'm being left out. It's becoming a "guy" thing where his buddy with the boat invites him & another guy, but there's no more room on the boat for me. You getting the picture?"

Question: maybe the other guys aren't the problem. Have you asked their wives/SOs what they think about another woman joining these "boys only" trips? Could be something burning on their home fires if you do. Just sayin'.

 

[diverbrian]

As posted by nitroxbabe
"Drysuit Dave: I understand what you're saying & there is indeed much truth there. However, understand that we took up diving together. We sat side by side in the classroom and floundered around in Lake Wazee together on our first check-out dive. It was something we took up as a couple: we WERE equals and partners in this. Now, I'm being left out. It's becoming a "guy" thing where his buddy with the boat invites him & another guy, but there's no more room on the boat for me. You getting the picture?"

Question: maybe the other guys aren't the problem. Have you asked their wives/SOs what they think about another woman joining these "boys only" trips? Could be something burning on their home fires if you do. Just sayin'.

I dive with guys up here mainly because of a lack of women at the shop that are willing to dive cold water up here. The dive shop owner was griping about that fact that he can't get a female to the DiveCon course up here. We have but a few "regulars" that dive cold water. After that, I see more "Diving Widows" when there is room on the boat.

In any case, I think that Nitroxbabe has gotten some pretty good advice. After that, I am guessing that she probably has a pretty good husband and that this is an issue that will settle itself over time.

I had to agree with the posts that stated, in essence, that her husband will notice that instructing isn't all that it is cracked up to be sometimes. The men who got me into deep, staged deco diving (and enjoy it) no longer have the time to dive with me as much as I would like because they are teaching classes. I feel that I am enjoying life as the lowly individual who is called on to maybe Dive Master a trip to the lake or assist with a full class as it doesn't eat up my time.

If she wants to teach, I think that she will. If she doesn't, she sounds assertive enough to gently say no. And yes, even here, the shop staff tends to dive together on their own. That is what is creating the "old boys club." If women where on the shop staff, they would hear about the dives and be with us. Such is "dive shop politics."

 

[justleesa]

Hard to give advice, as everybody is different. Just remember, he's a man and they really do think different about things. Depending on the guy, even if you explain to him what is bothering you, he still won't understand it because for him, if it were the other way around, it would not be the same problem as it is for you. So the less you let it bother you, the faster it will pass...this said from a person who is genetically disadvantaged due to 100% German genes
Lisa