"Oh, you're a diver too?"

[nitroxbabe]

No - never had that issue - I don`t associate with people who have such little respect for me and my abilities. Although I will consider other peoples advice I would not allow anyone to stop me doing something I wanted to so

Ummmm - Sealkie? This is ONE incident I'm *****ing about here. This IS my husband we're talking about, and overall I'm quite partial to him. You're judging a whole person on very little here. Lighten up a bit, OK?

WHY + how did you SO discourage you from persuing your instructor rating ?? Maybe he`s trying to encourage you by suggesting you start DM`ing for him ?? Maybe his suggestion that you teach certain classes / subjects is because they are the ones you excell at or seem to enjoy.

Seem you should be talking to him about this

Hmmmmm... I don't quite understand your first question there. Anyhow, regarding the rest, I'm a mediocre photographer (although my buoyancy is pretty dang good . So that's not really quite the whole enchilada, ya know? And yes I have talked to him, silly.

 

[smrtblnddiver]

ROFL!

Part of what's going on here is that HE'S German/Irish. You ought to see his mother - she's more bullheaded than he is.

In all fairness, however, I'm at least as bad as he is. And I'm not even German.

Oh, bullheaded isn't quite where I would have gone. If someone did that to me, I would have ripped him a new one up one side and down the other.......

 

[landlocked]

I'm the husband and my wife is the Assistant Instructor. So we get a different view. Diving was her idea and she started first. Because I think it would bother her if I became more proficient, I am careful to not log more total dives than her and to stay one step behind in training. (Ego is not purely the domain of men you know. :icosm14: ) She wants it to be her thing and I respect that so I make sure to stay in the background. You know, there really is a limited supply of perfect husbands.:biggrin2: It sounds like Berr found one of the few others.

 

[DFC5343]

Sounds like an episode for Dr. Phil.

 

[JRScuba]

Jriderski & submariner: I DO speak my mind, perhaps too much. I'm far from a wallflower. You'd have to be with us to see what's going on: I'd have to be pushy to butt in and that's not my style. I'm not the kind of person who jumps into a conversation and starts self-promoting.

Yes, I'm very well aware of what you said above. I do understand how you feel. Through experience I have found that sometimes just sitting back and listenting to the others is more entertaining then being involved.

 

[Kat]

Nitroxbabe,
Since you have discussed this w/ your hubby, chances are he is not going to change his behavior. Your only alternative is to change yours. Pursue your diving interest ASAP. Take the classes that interest you, not what he wants you to take. Plan dive trips f/ both of you, but if doesn't want to go or has other plans you should still go. Find a couple good dive buddies to fall back on. If you always give him the invite to come w/ you, I don't see how he can be upset if you go without him. I think you diving w/out him will have a bigger impact than any discussion would have. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[nitroxbabe]

Nitroxbabe,
Since you have discussed this w/ your hubby, chances are he is not going to change his behavior. Your only alternative is to change yours. Pursue your diving interest ASAP. Take the classes that interest you, not what he wants you to take. Plan dive trips f/ both of you, but if doesn't want to go or has other plans you should still go. Find a couple good dive buddies to fall back on. If you always give him the invite to come w/ you, I don't see how he can be upset if you go without him. I think you diving w/out him will have a bigger impact than any discussion would have. Actions speak louder than words.

You're probably right. But I don't think he'll be missing diving with ME. He's going to be enjoying himself teaching. It's going to be more that I'm missing diving with HIM.

But you never know - if our "quality time" goes down to zip perhaps he'll start to see things differently.

Although he'll probably be teaching most weekends come the warm weather, so I probably wouldn't get to dive with him much anyhow unless I want to hang out in Pearl Lake with the students and re-learn how to clear my mask. Fun, fun.

Guess I'll be looking for a new dive buddy!

 

[FredT]

nitroxbabe,

A few points to ponder.

1. As an instructor his "rec" diving days are now either over or severly restricted. Now instead of puttering around under a wreck with you he's going to be chasing students most of his dives. This is one reason I never considered a training cert. While I'm happy to teach someone to "putter" with great enthusiasm and safety a job diving is a job first. When the diving's good, the bugs are walking or the fish are migrating I'd rather dive. Remember this when his head fills the room. Your revenge is the dozens of fun dives you'll get while he's "teaching." :1poke:

2. A teaching team is a good plan, but only if you LOVE dealing with students.

3. Find another suitable buddy to dive with while he's teaching, or even when he's not. Plumbing polarity is not important, but similar dive goals is. You may also want to diverge your future training in a slightly different direction, such as Deco, trimix, DIR, solo, cave, or U/W Archeology or hunting. Training track certs are a very narrow specialty band so if you diverge you'll be stronger as a team when you do dive together. Of course with several of these your in water skills will quickly surpass his, but that is his choice. :sneaky:

4. TRY and get a fun dive per quarter in as buddies to maintain your in water raport, and to teach him a few new things you've learned.

FT

 

[Bob3]

hmmm... How about u/w target shooting?
The opportunities for bagging a variety of table fare in your area are limited, but that shouldn't stop you from practicing some marksmanship with a nice big speargun.:devious:

 

[AquaBob]

LOL actually that thought DID cross my mind...

But really, he's not an ogre (well maybe just a bit... ) In all fairness, I'm sure I do things to harm his self-esteem... it's just that this particular thing is pretty near and dear to me. I no longer enjoy the "cool" factor of being a diver: I'm now an also-ran. It's disheartening.

I'm not suggesting that this is the case....I'm only playing devils advocate, but since I don't know you or your experience, I have no way to know if this applies....

Perhaps enjoying the "cool" factor of being a diver is more important too you than the actual diving.
Perhaps you ARE overly sensitive and become upset or even flustered over relatively minor issues.
Perhaps your husband sees that and fears for your safety should something serious actually occur.
Perhaps having a slightly ticked off wife is better than a more gruesome alternative.

Without a knowledge of your actual skill level or personallity, all possibilities must be considered. It is quite possible that his attitude may be borne of a very deep and fundamental love for you and your saftey.

On the other hand.... I might be just narc'ed.