Obsessed diver

[bzydiver]

My husband is obsessed with diving. I dive and I enjoy it when we do it, but I don't think about it all the time. (I have a business and family too)
Problem is this: I became a diver so we could do something fun together. I paid for the lessons (he got re-certified), all the equipment, all the trips we've been on together, etc. etc. My husband is a horrible buddy. He's also now a dive instructor! Each time we dive together, I feel like I'm diving alone. We've talked about these things, but little changes. I support his interest in diving, but I think it's gone way overboard. Any suggestions before I start calling a counselor???

 

[cork2win]

What do you mean by him being a bad buddy? Is he dangerous, or is it more a matter of him not paying attention to you as his buddy? If he's dangerous I'd have to have a serious talk with him and let him know that unless something changed I wouldn't dive with him again. Especially since you say he's now an instructor. Doesn't seem like a good trait for an instructor. It's for his safety and yours that you address this. If it's more a matter of him not being an attentive buddy, I say you find another dive buddy. Either that will bring him around and make him realize you're not happy with him as a buddy and he'll work at getting better or you'll end up with someone that *is* a better buddy and you just dive without him. Either way, you win!

You mention you've talked to him... I'm curious how the talks went? Is he receptive to the fact that you think he's a bad buddy, or does he just blow you off?

 

[REII]

My husband is a horrible buddy. He's also now a dive instructor! Each time we dive together, I feel like I'm diving alone.

By this I assume you mean that he is not very attentative to you? I would think that would be something he would be trying to instill in his students as a dive instructor.

I would suggest having a heart to heart with him, but you say you tried to talk already. I am not sure what else to do short of telling him that you do not feel comfortable diving with him as your buddy.

Good luck.

TOM

 

[webhead]

You can try to hold his hand while diving. I see it all the time and always thought it was cute. Maybe they aren't doing it to be cute. :33:

 

[JohnW]

Any suggestions before I start calling a counselor???

How Long has he been diving? How long have you been diving? and what is your experience/Cert level?

 

[RonFrank]

My husband is obsessed with diving. I dive and I enjoy it when we do it, but I don't think about it all the time. (I have a business and family too)
Problem is this: I became a diver so we could do something fun together. I paid for the lessons (he got re-certified), all the equipment, all the trips we've been on together, etc. etc. My husband is a horrible buddy. He's also now a dive instructor! Each time we dive together, I feel like I'm diving alone. We've talked about these things, but little changes. I support his interest in diving, but I think it's gone way overboard. Any suggestions before I start calling a counselor???

This bothers me on a few levels. First, if he is an instructor, he should be a great buddy. If he is not, he is NOT a very good instructor.

You paid for the equipment AND trips!? Want to get married? Ohh, guess you already are.

To be honest (and granted I do NOT know you or hubby) your husband sounds like he is a selfish... hmmm, well... whatever.... I seriously doubt this is JUST about diving.

So go get counseling...but the end result may have nothing to do with diving...

 

[Diver0001]

My husband is obsessed with diving. I dive and I enjoy it when we do it, but I don't think about it all the time. (I have a business and family too)
Problem is this: I became a diver so we could do something fun together. I paid for the lessons (he got re-certified), all the equipment, all the trips we've been on together, etc. etc. My husband is a horrible buddy. He's also now a dive instructor! Each time we dive together, I feel like I'm diving alone. We've talked about these things, but little changes. I support his interest in diving, but I think it's gone way overboard. Any suggestions before I start calling a counselor???

I'm not clear about what's bothering you.

Are you bothered because he spends too much of his time diving (or thinking about it) or are you bothered because he's a bad buddy to you?

R..

 

[jepuskar]

"First, if he is an instructor, he should be a great buddy"

That is sooo not true Ron.

 

[Cacia]

JB agrees with Ron.

I would say start getting the guy to pay and you might cheer up a bit.

Instructors are the worst buddies, I thought everybody knew that Ron. The reason is they think in terms of being solo, really. At least 90% of the ones I know. I like diving with them myself.

My other bit of advice is that if you get a camera you won't be needy. Start ingnoring him and get some interests down there. Once you are having more fun than he is, he might swim back?

 

[DarkCoffee]

Get him a membership on ScubaBoard.. I'm sure someone will 'speak' to him.:light:
Or ..pause.. is he already here someplace