Need advice - will my love of diving wreck my marriage?

[Cajuncru Diver]

Need advice - will my love of diving wreck my marriage?

My advice:
(1) Speak to everyone in your area you know that have gone through a divorce.
(2) Determine from these interviews who is the best Divorce Lawyer in the area.
(3) Contact that lawyer and place him on retainer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Randy43068]

if your marriage is solid then my advice would be to dive but don't let it get in the way of a good thing. Who knows, you could suffer some kind of injury which prevents you from diving, then what will you have if you've let diving wreck a good thing?

There are other things to do besides scuba diving. Being married to the right partner is better than diving could EVER be.

 

[Diver0001]

There are other things to do besides scuba diving. Being married to the right partner is better than diving could EVER be.

Although it IS a photo-finish...

R..

 

[imasinker]

if your marriage is solid then my advice would be to dive but don't let it get in the way of a good thing. Who knows, you could suffer some kind of injury which prevents you from diving, then what will you have if you've let diving wreck a good thing?

There are other things to do besides scuba diving. Being married to the right partner is better than diving could EVER be.

Your wife reads the forums too huh... J/K

Good advice!

 

[Rhone Man]

Diving is a pretty serious marriage killer because (i) it seems impenetrable to outsiders ("so, you get all cold and wet, and see some old rusting hulk...?"), (ii) it costs a lot of money, and (iii) it takes up a lot of time (both diving itself and taking care of gear etc.).

I manage to balance marriage with a non-diving spouse, but it means I dive less than I would like to, and she is still a little bit unhappy about how much it takes me away. But we both give a little and it has managed to work for 15 years so far.

 

[Digger54]

Yes, it will ruin your marriage. Send me your gear immediately so as to remove the temptation. I am willing to take the chance with my own marriage just to save yours. Message me and I will send you my address. I will pay shipping.

 

[under water]

It depends on whether it will replace your relationship with your wife or replace your relationship with another passion you have.
BTW just because your wife doesn't like swimming does not necessarily mean she will not like scuba. I don't like swimming at all, but love the flying underwater thing that scuba is.

 

[Doubler]

1. Book a vacation where you can dive and she can have mom time with your step-daughter.
2. Try a family week live-aboard vacation. Maybe someone other than you can get her to at least try diving. I have found that in most cases this approach works best.
3. Get the step-daughter interested in diving.
4. Split time with one of her passions.
5 and NEVER vacation separately, this is a marriage not a vacation club.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I do not go on long trips without the Mrs. She does not dive but loves the boats and the people. Your wife might also. Doing a liveaboard as a relative newlywed when you could go to any number of places where everyone could enjoy themselves is just plain selfish and rude. Wait a few years till she wants your butt out of her way. You are also a father now or are trying to be. There is no room for selfishness there unless you want to kill this for sure. Great way to get in everyone's good graces is to take them all someplace warm and exotic. As a newlywed if all or at least both of you can't afford to go neither can you. If you think it will be ok to just run off and dive off a boat for a week in an exotic location while she sits at home after being married less than year get the divorce now. Or be prepped when you find out she is having her "friend" come around while you are gone to keep her company. I'm no marriage expert( been divorced twice) but I know trouble when I see it. You are looking for it big time. Oh and if she doesn't play golf, you're doubly screwed cause that takes more time and makes way less sense than diving. Everybody knows that the guy who golfs every weekend has a wife with a boyfriend who does not prefer chasing a little white ball with a crooked stick, to hit it over and over, trying to knock it into a hole.

 

[ewaiea]

Thanks to all of you for your honesty and your thoughtful remarks. I have talked it over with my wife - we had touched the issue before but now it had to be discussed in much clearer terms. I do plan on getting into liveabord diving and my wife and my step daughter will have their mother-daughter getaways once per year - probably near the time I go on my trip. We will also take another vacation each year that brings us all together. We spend alot of time together each week but to take a vacation would also be good - to go skiing, visit my family or hers, etc. My wife told me that she understands why I seek the adventure and told me that's one of the things she is fond of about me. I think it will work out well - I re-read my original post and it sounded like our relationship was on the fritz, that's not the case to clear up confusion - I love my wife very much and I embrace being a step-dad. I think my love of diving - which is planned to only come around one week per year can be coupled with my marriage. AND, my step daughter is very much a water bug and the agreement is already there that when she is of the age and maturity needed for diving (along with the desire to dive as well) that I will pay to enroll her in a certification course.

Thanks all for your advice, Happy New Year!