Question Near incident. What should I have done?

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If you went down on the anchor line, make all effort to ascend on that anchor line even if it means sharing air. I fault the instructor/guide for putting you in a position to have to make that decision on your own. Getting mad is his way of venting, but he made the big mistake: not you.
The thing is, I didn't know about the path he eventually took to the anchor line. In my mind it was either try to trace back the way we came (multiple penetrations, wasn't confident I would figure it out the way back nor that my friend would make it on enough air even if I did), try to find the group through the mystery passage or swim against the current over the wreck. My mind was fixated on "he's at 50 bar at 25 meters, we need to go up asap"

Agree with Vicko. If the instructor had a particular solution to that problem, he needed to keep his eyes on everyone and see the problem rather than go shuffling off to Buffalo.

Also, the low air diver and his buddy should have been dealing with the situation a lot more proactively. That's who needs to get chewed out.

He had a grand total of two dives after OW and this was his first dive below 18 meters ever. I understand why he'd look to me for guidance on how to proceed given I'm the most experienced diver in our friend group
 
There is so much wrong with this story and none of it was caused by you. There are a couple of takeaways here, though.

1 - instructing a class and leading a group of divers at the same time is not ok. If that is within standards, they suck.
2 - if conditions require a return to the anchor line, gas planning must account for that - ie. thirds + mingas (for ascent while sharing gas)

As a certified unsupervised diver, it's important to recognize bad situations and dive within your own comfort level. Don't automatically follow "authority" like an instructor, DM or an experienced diver if you disagree with their diving practice or dive plan. In the end, you are responsible for your own safety.

It's a judgement call whether to make a free ascent or share gas to get back to the anchor line. It sounds like the conditions were bad enough and with no plan for a boat to follow drifting divers with an SMB, that it made returning to the anchor line quite important, which again stresses the need for proper gas management. It's better to be lost at sea alive, then drowned OOA though, so I don't think your decision to ascend was a bad one.
 
The thing is, I didn't know about the path he eventually took to the anchor line.
Again, I fault the instructor/guide for not making it clear. That should have been explained before you splashed. How to find and identify your exit always needs to be a part of your briefing. Always.

In the future, make it a priority to NOT have to rely on anyone to be able to complete your dive. Getting in is almost always easy. Getting back out can be dicey. Always know your exit strategy before you splash. Leave a marker if you must. Even an uninflated sausage makes it easy to spot from across the wreck.
My mind was fixated
This is perceptual narrowing, which can happen with any anxiety. This was a trust-me dive. You relied on the leader to be able to complete the dive, and that's a horribly anxious way to dive, and an easy way to die. That he was a combo instructor/leader, made it impossible for him to give everyone their due diligence.
 
In my mind it was either try to trace back the way we came
Turn pressure was 120 bar, the instructor knew someone was well below that (at 100 bar "a few minutes" prior) and still had not turned?? Nor prompted to do so by anyone?

I really hope I have misunderstood this aspect...
 
none of it was caused by you.
I wouldn't go that far. He did a trust-me dive. That's as much his fault as it was the leader's. Never splash if you can't finish the dive on your own. Your life and safety should not depend on the skills of another.
 
Plenty enough blame to go around.

It doesn't seem like the instructor/guide should have been doing both at the same time.

Some operators on the Red Sea require a minimum of 50 dives in an attempt to have divers able to handle themselves independently if required. This may be insufficient. On a moored wreck, you should probably always be prepared to return to the ascent line if need be. Make a mental note of where your line is located on the wreck and be prepared to get back there.
 
Turn pressure was 120 bar, the instructor knew someone was well below that (at 100 bar "a few minutes" prior) and still had not turned??
We were on our way back, like 2 minutes into the way back. We were encountering a lot of "traffic" though so it was taking a while.

I wouldn't go that far. He did a trust-me dive. That's as much his fault as it was the leader's. Never splash if you can't finish the dive on your own. Your life and safety should not depend on the skills of another.
I never had this impression, and I don't see how I'd avoid this situation in the future either. If I must begin and end in the anchor, and there is too much current around the wreck to navigate it from the outside, am I supposed to make a mental map of every path along the wreck before diving it? I guess I never really thought about the idea that aborting and surfacing with DSMB was not safe no matter the conditions. Isn't that what Open Water diving safety is built upon? If that's not the case, am I to consider the entire dive effectively a cave dive with no path to the surface except for the entrance?

Is penetrating a wreck normal for the number of dives most of you had?

Me and my partner have penetrated several wrecks and dived a few cenotes in Tulum, some of which were borderline caves (e.g entrance light just faintly visible in dreamgate), so to us this was nothing special. Whether it's normal or not I don't really know, I felt very comfortable on every one of those dives and were it not for the rest of the group I'd happily have entered the passage I refused even without the guide there. My worry was finding the path splitting, taking the wrong turn then having to ask 3 divers behind me on single file to turn around, while one of them is low on air
 
I wouldn't go that far. He did a trust-me dive. That's as much his fault as it was the leader's. Never splash if you can't finish the dive on your own. Your life and safety should not depend on the skills of another.
I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. I still wouldn't blame the OP for it, as it is a training/culture problem. It's already hard to speak up against authority, and if it's not impressed upon you in training it's bound to happen.
 
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I still wouldn't blame the OP for it, as it is a training/culture problem.
My aim isn't to assign blame, but to point to a solution. Diving is all about limits. I refuse to dive beyond my limits. It's a choice. Have I done it? Unfortunately. Did I learn from it? Eventually.

Obviously, like most people, he dives for the pleasure of it. I know I do. I don't believe that he would characterize that dive as being fun. Rather, it turned out to be stressful and stress can be quite harmful. My second rule of diving is that you can call a dive at any time, for any reason, with no repercussions. The best time to call a dive is before you even get wet. So, it's a hard "no" when it comes to trust-me dives. There's nothing down there worth getting stressed over.
 
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