Ive taken some time to think about this part of your account, and I feel that I should muster some type of response to this since I was there.
I think you need to take DIR diving and GUE training for what it is and ignore everything else. It, in my mind, isnt the answer to all of divings problems. It isnt happiness in classroom form. GUE classes arent all rainbows and smiles, and the kool-aid we speak of isnt Unicorn blood.
What DIR is is an amazing system for diving, ultimately scalable, and completely well thought out, and GUE classes are the only really good way to get this training. Further, because of the scalability extremely high skill levels(compared to other classes) are demanded. That can lead to a lot of stress, as can figuring out how to take what you have learned an actually apply it to ocean dives and conditions. This is far worse for people (like me) with so few dives as the newer of us try to take high standards and lots of education and mold them to conditions. Me, and my dive buddies, believe highly that there is no replacement for the DIR system, in terms of its team cohesiveness, situational awareness, and acuity of skill.
Every dive I have ever been on since Fundamentals has been fun-without exception. Even if I get frustrated I still feel I have some control of myself in the water, and I never ever have a moment that I dont think I know how to get out of. DIR gives you that freedom. Nothing is perfect, and I assume that if you see divers that are unhappy then you are just seing humans be human. The great part, however, is that DIR buddies are usually extremely close friends and the team can sort out frustrations and issues--it is more than just a team underwater type of thing. If you want to see a bunch of people beat themselves up over perfection while doing something they love you should come meet some of my colleagues from medical school.
What you didnt see later that week (friday, sat, and sunday) were the high fives and hugs upon surfacing. That comes from a comfort level you perhaps havent reached yet, but is attainable through DIR. When dives go off perfectly (as they have been more and more with me) such as when amazing sites were seen, communication and awareness are high, and skills are executed extremely well, then there is no sense of accomplishment comparable.
It is very sad that you walked away feeling so let down by this form of diving. It's true, it isnt easy. But, like most things in life, if it were easy it wouldnt be worth having. However, its not the fact that all DIR divers excel beyond any other diver, its that most just dont tolerate the acceptance of mediocrity and so we (im kind of speaking for myself here more than for the community) always try and become better and better WHILE enjoying everything the underwater world has to provide. I hope you continue to dive with GUE/DIR divers and get to see what the real worth of the classes, and practice, and training are: comfort and fun.
Regards,
Tim