Well, I'm behind, so I have a asst dive instructor (ADI) with me one-on-one. This is a good thing, but I am still having trouble. I am sure some of it is mental, I have to fight the instinct to surface at the first sign of trouble. And, I got an unadjustable regualtor this time and felt like I was having to pull air out, perhaps a little air starved. It is the same feeling I get sometimes when I breath for a few minutes through my nose. I don't feel I am getting enough air. I did not have that feeling at all last week after adjusting the regulator. Next week, our last class, I will insisted on an adjustable one.
Well, onto the water session. During the out of air demo where the ADI turns off the air on your tank to simulate the feeling, he forgot to tell me to give him the "Low on air", then "out of air" signal. No biggie, I gave it to him anyway and he congratulated me.
I did pretty well during the "emergency ascent". While he was showing me and swimming off though, my mask fogged up (made it harder to see his demo). I did good. I partially flooded my mask, swished it, and cleared it. Cleaned it up ok and we went on.
However, on the next skill, we swam back to the deep end. He was demoing the fin pivot. He was face down demoing it when I got kicked in the head.

It was not bad, a brush with a fin tip (which I am told happens all the time). It knocked my mask and broke the seal, flooding it. It took me by suprise, he was still demoing the skill and did not see it happen. I was able to reseat my mask and clear it.

But, what I could not do was clear my head... I started having what felt like a panic attack. My respiration started to increase and I could not control it. When the ADI looked up and asked if I was ok, I signaled up and that is where I went. When I surfaced, I gasped for air for a few breaths and calmed back down. At the surface, the ADI was trying to talk me out of diving saying that "it is not for everyone" and "you are not less of a man if you quit".
After a few minutes of chatting, I told him I wanted to demonstrate the skills I had done (but not been checked off on). For example, we were doing the fin pivot and we had not yet done the mask removal/swim/replace mask. When I told him I wanted to do that, he questioned me "Are you sure? That is one of the hardest skills". I confirmed that was what I wanted to do (since I had done it unintenionally already without him watching).
We went to the shallow end and first did just the mask removal. I was still a bit jumpy and was concentrating on breathing and time. He brushed my arm and startled me. My instinct? Surface and I did.

I have to learn to fight that. I told him I wanted to try again. This time I succeeded.
Next was the swim without the mask. We went under again, I took off my mask and we swam. When we got to the other side, I took my mask back, put it on and started to clear it. I inhaled a little water and started to gag. My instinct was to surface again, but I fought it. I moved my hand from my mask to my regulator and coughed through it. I was ok there, I finished clearing my mask, looked at the ADI and gave the OK sign.
So, it ended on a high note and I am confident I will succeed!
We have one more week of class in the water. We took our final test last week and I got a 96%. I got the book learning down. Next week, I am going to insist on an adjustable regulator.
Thanks for all your support,
Bear