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I agree with everything here. I will add that I prefer the side by side formation where the leader is just slightly ahead so there isn't much neck straining to look at the follower. I hate the "one behind the other" way for the reasons you say, but I think the leader must be a tiny bit ahead.What always used to happen when I first started diving (with buddies) who were also new divers, is it started out OK but inevitably one diver went one way to see something and the other diver went the other way to see something thinking that they were the only ones diverting for a second and the other buddy was watching them. Both divers get spread apart enough that the low visibility inhibits a visual on each other and you have a classic buddy separation. The other common problem with new divers is they dive following the leader and the leader hauls ass and takes off leaving the buddy(s) behind in the dust… sometimes literally. This also can create a stress situation for the buddy in back who then blows through a ton of air trying to sprint to keep up. I’ve literally had to grab a fin of a sprinting leader to get their attention and get them to slow down!
If you get separated the standard is to look around for a minute then surface and regroup. This can create another problem that sometimes the sprinting buddy just keeps going thinking that the other buddy is still behind them and a few minutes goes by. By that time they are way far away. Sometimes they get selfish and just don’t care, these are the buddies that need to be replaced.
A better method involves teamwork. One buddy is in charge of the dive and the second buddy is there primarily to make sure they stick together. The primary buddy still has a responsibility to keep an eye on the secondary buddy but it is the secondary buddies responsibility to keep an eye on the primary at all times. On the second dive you trade places.
If this is the plan then you have to stick to the plan. Divers that somehow forget the whole plan and split once underwater are unfit as dive buddies and should maybe look into solo diving.
I also recommend diving side by side instead of follow the leader.
If it’s loose buddy diving (same ocean same day) that’s fine, but it needs to be understood by both or all divers that this is the plan. That is actually solo diving at that point.
I would also add a variation on the role of each sometimes. On a two tank charter I would say to the buddy that I'd like to lead to check out the bottom around the wreck looking for shells for the first half of the say, 20 minute dive, then the buddy becomes leader and I follow him/her. Same procedure for dive #2, since it has always been at a different site-- so we both get what we want.