Lonely old lady needs feedback

[Nehallenia]

I recently had an experience where I met a nice man through my work.
A very kind, open, genuine person. I was not the least bit physically attracted to him . . . yet found myself fighting this strange attraction to him. I couldn't wait until he left, he was making me feel so uncomfortable (because he apparently liked me, don't know about the attraction part on his side), being so nice to me, complimenting me on my competence (not on my appearance), helping me with something that needed fixing - I just felt so . . . vulnerable??

However, now that he is gone I feel bereft! This makes no sense - this guy may even have an SO somewhere. I have this feeling of "wish I had gotten to know you better". Also, he is a great person to work with, some people you just click with in certain ways, you know? However, I fear it was just his Southern accent. So, are men with Southern accents irresistible or what? Is that Bill Clinton's secret??

 

[simbrooks]

It happens the other way around as well, although probably less common in guys as they are usually shallower, but does happen. Its a weird occurance and i have no idea why, it just is...

 

[Far_X]

It could well be the Southern accent as I ended up marrying a Southern belle (though I may have charmed her with my English accent also). However, marriage should not be based upon people's accent and ours soon fell by the wayside. I do prefer it to the Long Island accent I hear all day now though

 

[Ontario Diver]

I recently had an experience where I met a nice man through my work.
A very kind, open, genuine person. I was not the least bit physically attracted to him . . . yet found myself fighting this strange attraction to him. I couldn't wait until he left, he was making me feel so uncomfortable (because he apparently liked me, don't know about the attraction part on his side), being so nice to me, complimenting me on my competence (not on my appearance), helping me with something that needed fixing - I just felt so . . . vulnerable??

However, now that he is gone I feel bereft! This makes no sense - this guy may even have an SO somewhere. I have this feeling of "wish I had gotten to know you better". Also, he is a great person to work with, some people you just click with in certain ways, you know? However, I fear it was just his Southern accent. So, are men with Southern accents irresistible or what? Is that Bill Clinton's secret??

"Come Grasshopper - Snatch the pebble from my hand...."

Sometimes the stars come into alignment, God is in his heaven and all is right with the world. Sometimes things just work.

You can never tell where the good ones come from or where you might meet them . For me, it was a Montanna's restraunt; she was beautiful and a diver. Later I found out she has a dog that I love too.

If you want to know him better - do so. If attraction was logical..... well there would probably not be a human race. That is what makes it fun.

You go girl! Ask him out!

(Heck-a-rooney ---- You aint old yet! You are three months away from being the perfect age!)

 

[drbill]

There are times during which we connect with one another on a level that transcends the usual "attractants." Perhaps this was one of those times. You sensed something within him that you liked, he touched a chord... and you let him walk away. Shame on you. Follow up if you have his number or e-mail addy. Give it another chance and see if the same feelings are there (the ones you felt AFTER he left).

Dr. Bill
not Dr. Phil

 

[tracker]

He could end up just being a great friend. Either way................

 

[justleesa]

Chemistry......You either gotta fight it or go with the flow...up to you

 

[Nehallenia]

There are times during which we connect with one another on a level that transcends the usual "attractants." Perhaps this was one of those times. You sensed something within him that you liked, he touched a chord... and you let him walk away. Shame on you. Follow up if you have his number or e-mail addy. Give it another chance and see if the same feelings are there (the ones you felt AFTER he left).

Dr. Bill
not Dr. Phil

It is not very likely I will ever see this person again. I do have his email, and have already written to say I was surpised to find myself disappointed that we wouldn't be working together at least one more day. I think I would have liked to have spent more time figuring out whether this was a friendship thing or could be another thing. There is no doubt that there was some sort of positive mutual regard there - it just scared me! I am afraid I was just being needy . . . .

 

[Nehallenia]

It happens the other way around as well, although probably less common in guys as they are usually shallower, but does happen. Its a weird occurance and i have no idea why, it just is...

This sort of thing happened to me a couple of years ago, where I fell for a guy just completely shortly after I met him. That time made more sense, however, as I found him very, very physically attractive as well as intellectually challenging and appealing. This fellow also was a very competent, skilled individual with a work ethic similar to my own.

I thought men fell for women based on very little other than appearance all the time?

I am telling you, I can't figure out if this Southern guy liked me or pitied me or what!

 

[Hoya97]

First, let me jump in with both boot and hope I don't squish anyone!

Nehallenia, you are far from old! Whoever told you that or suggested you were approaching a magical age when you automatically become old should be flogged in a public square for all to see.

Additionally, from the two pictures in your profile, I would say that you are quite attractive as well. So you (in my opinion) shouldn't be apprehensive about any perceptions regarding problems in that area too (no, I'm NOT trying to pick you up - very happily married to the love of my life!). So again, if someone suggested that you were a 'Plain Jane' I would suggest you buy them a gift certificate to Lens Crafters as they obviously need glasses.

Now, getting back to the issue at hand. You mentioned that you sent him an e-mail. Did he respond? If so, follow through and establish a regular dialog and see what develops.

Another option to employ would be to determine where he works. You could send him an e-mail stating something to the effect of "Hey, I'm going to be in your area next Tuesday, want to have lunch together?" Innocent, honest, and would give you another shot at him.

I guess you could say that I'm all for you pursuing your interests. Go for it Girl! Life is too short to be saddled with regrets!

Take care and keep us informed!

Warmest Regards,

Lee