Letting Boys be Boys, But Worried

[JessH]

I wonder if that is the default setting, unless you requested it off.--I'll ask, good point.

Default is usually on, but it is actually rather irrelevant because you can't really turn it off. The off setting just says that programs you install can't use it, the phone company and E911 still have access to it. Interestingly phone GPS is actually much more accurate than traditional GPS since it uses the cell phone towers. I don't know about the current generation of phones but I know at least some of the old ones could be tracked even when they were turned off.... It's all kind of scary really.

~Jess

 

[ekewaka]

I am not a woman, but I was once a 14 year old boy, and I once lived in Hawaii. I know the Hawaii Kai area very well. The bay is relatively safe. I agree that you should not keep your kids on a short leash, but I think it is reasonable to require them to be back by dark. They should definitely have some sort of light. You could try a Pelican box for the cell phone. They are waterproof, and they float. A boating store might have a waterproof radio. I don't know much about that sort of thing. It would probably be expensive.

Try a boating supply store- much less expensive than the strobes sold at dive shops .

Everything is expensive in Hawaii.

 

[mrjimboalaska]

No problem giving kids some leeway time to time, they need to earn trust and learn to think for themselves and that is how they do that.
BUT, rules are guidlines for them to follow, follow them and the rules tend to modify to more freedoms.
C, tell your boy, NO KAYAKING AFTER DARK.(it's not safe, you know it, otherwise you would not have misgivings about it)
plenty of daylight hours to do so.
You are not restricting your kids growth by giving them rules, you are letting them know that there are rules in the world, and consequences if those rules are not followed, benefits if they are followed.

 

[Cacia]

wow, Jimbo, you clean up nice!

My hair is turning grey, tonight the other one is out on that homemade "dock-boat" for her BF's birthday party. The kids built the boat with 2x4's and plywood, it actually floats, has two decks.

 

[mrjimboalaska]

wow, Jimbo, you clean up nice!

QUOTE]
Wellllll,
That WAS 12 years ago and 50 lbs lighter. As the back detererates, get gets harder and harder to keep that weight off. BUT, DAMN, I'M STILL A GOOD LOOKING MAN!

 

[Jon C]

wow, Jimbo, you clean up nice!

My hair is turning grey, tonight the other one is out on that homemade "dock-boat" for her BF's birthday party. The kids built the boat with 2x4's and plywood, it actually floats, has two decks.

Catherine,

If you know anyone that is good with a camera , we need some pictures of that!!! (The boat...not your hair)

When I was a kid, we built a "wind wagon". Basically a go-cart with a sail that we made out of wood, bicycle wheels, bed sheets and crates. When the wind kicked up in Lancaster, it would get moving pretty fast. After the first "flight" we discoverd the need for brakes. Wish I had some pictures of that now! Looked strange zipping down the street in a desert. I think we were the model for the (eventual) Helmet Law in California.

We were very inventive...no Gameboys back then...But we STILL had to be in by 6:00!!!

Jon

 

[Cacia]

I'm telling you, my kids are kinda wild. It's so hilarious, the 17 y/o boy that built the boat, always has about five girls on it and he is big man on campus, at the moment! They take it out into open ocean, here they are motoring under the bridge. The coast guard hasn't caught them yet, but it is just a matter of time. I was hoping it wouldn't be last night and that they wouldn't have beer or anything. I must say, of all the things we say about Hawaii, the expense, the problems, etc, raising kids here is pretty charmed.

 

[JeffG]

I'm telling you, my kids are kinda wild.

Where's the cooler for the beer?

 

[Jon C]

Okay...that is WAY bigger than I thought!!! Must have take a s**t load of 2 x 4's!

The Coast Guard is going to run out of tickets writing up the violations on that thing!

Thanks for the pictures...what a crack up!

Jon

 

[uwslate]

Not being a mom, but having been a 14-15 year old once and an independent, capable person always, I would offer this advice:

1. Have him take a boating safety class (USPS or similar) so that it's not just Mom being a "drag" about running lights.

2. Don't nanny him. I teach MANY college students who have been so crippled by "helicopter parenting" and the umbilical cell-phone that their ability to function as adults is seriously impaired. By this I mean that they run to mommy and daddy for everything instead of taking responsibility for their own learning/behavior/mistakes.

3. If he is not home by dark, lock up his boat and ground him for a week. Do this as often as necessary for him to figure it out.

Remember... there was a time when children did NOT roam with cellphones and they (we) survived just fine. That said, I would invest in a small handheld marine radio for emergencies.

With privileges come responsibilities. If your son is not ready for responsible boat ownership and for the responsibility to come home at the appointed time, then he is NOT ready for his own kayak. He also presents a hazard to those who boat responsibly. A fatal propellor injury is not fixable.

No offense if this seems harsh, as I'm sure your kid is a great kid. It seems to me that you are not comfortable with what he is doing, so maybe it's time to set some ground rules.