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The only issue I have with this is that you make it sound like your only choices are to dive with an incompetent dive buddy, or dive solo. There are other choices ... like diving with a competent dive buddy (they do exist, ya know ...JimLap:Definitely agree with Matt on this. There is a different mindset once you start seriously and purposely diving solo as opposed to "oops where did joe go?"

Me too ... but that's not unique to the solo diver mindset (which is my point in all of this discussion).JimLap:For me this has carried over to diving with a buddy and even a group situation. I do not consider it overconfidence in my abilities or skills. Just that now I think more about how I can get myself out of a jam should a problem happen. To me this translates into being more conscious of my skills, experience, and equipment. As a result I've sought more information, training, and added to my redundant gear list without going crazy and looking like someone who just hit the lottery and went nuts in dive shop. Things I don't think I would have considered as essential or necessary have become second nature to possess or keep handy as a result of diving solo.
My save-a-dive kit comprises two large toolboxes ... one containing repair items and tools, the other containing replacement items, first-aid kit, and my O2 analyzer. In the latter, I typically carry spare mask, gloves, hood, first stage, second stage, primary light, secondary light, spool, SMB, batteries, and a few other odds-n-ends. In the former I carry just about anything I'd need to field-repair a regulator, tank valve, drysuit, or BCD. Again, this is just good preparation for the properly-trained diver ... it's not something that's unique to the solo diver mindset.JimLap:My save a dive kit is one example that has carried over out of the water. Unless I should run into a situation where my reg fails completely and needs rebuilt I can fix most any problem on my own. BTW should this happen I just grab my spare reg setup. I even have a spare BC that could be used should mine develop a leak or whatever. This gear goes with me on every local dive. Travel is a different story but still being more gear conscious means I'm more aware of my stuff. I can always rent an extra bc. But when I go to key largo in May my spare reg is going with me. And I'm putting together a travel save kit to send with my gear. I'm shipping my bc, fins, and suits. Along with some other stuff that's not going into my carry on but I want to have at hand.
And again ... I think y'all are confusing the solo mentality with the self-sufficiency mentality, and they are not self-inclusive.
Nobody likes to dive with a trainwreck ... but not all dive buddies are trainwrecks. As an instructor, one of my jobs is to take those who are and help them learn the skills required to become competent dive buddies. It's not that hard, because most divers are quick to realize that developing the skills to be a good dive buddy makes their own diving far more enjoyable, as well as their dive buddy's.JimLap:A buddy is great to have if communication is good and they are able to handle themselves. Some one who cannot communicate effectively and handle themselves in the particular situation and environment is not only inconvenient but also a liability and risk to the team and even the entire group. I'd rather be solo than dive with a trainwreck.
Relating this back to the original scenario ... and to that put forth by Pilot Fish ... a good dive team would not find themselves in these scenarios, because in order to get to that point you will have had to ignore a series of "warning signs" ... any of which should have already resulted in an aborted dive. If you have gotten to the point where you are both OOA, or both incapable of helping either yourselves or each other, you will have violated several of the basic rules that you were supposed to have learned in your basic open water class ... in which case, it won't matter how well-equipped you are, you will have left the most important piece of gear you own back on the beach ... your brain.
... Bob (Grateful Diver)