Lawyer jokes

[wrongkey]

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in
their respective ambulance team's response times.

"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged
the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."

The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second
paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic
patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent."

Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until
the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance
driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"

 

[Welshman]

Three Consultant Surgeons were discussing the operations they had performed that morning.

"Mine was easy", said the first Surgeon, "He was a management consultant. When I opened him up all his organs were colour coded so it was easy to find my way around".

"It was as easy for me", said the second surgeon, "My patient was an accountant. When I opened him up all his organs were numbered so it was a piece of cake."

"Nothing like as easy as mine," said the third surgeon, "My patient was a lawyer. When I opened him up I found he only had two organs - a mouth and an ass***e - and they were interchangeable".

 

[scuberd]

what is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?



one is a scum-sucking bottom feeder
and the other is a fish

 

[Jester]

How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer lying in the middle of the road?








There are skid marks in front of the skunk!

 

[Dee]

Good one, Hoover!

 

[Rush]

Very funny thread !

I'll bet lawyers would OBJECT to this thread !

 

[AzAtty]

No objections...a lawyer started the thread.

 

[Rush]

Oh, well if a lawyer started the thread, then I guess it's okay.

I gotto go now, as I need to find a good lawyer.
Guess I'll check the cemetary !

 

[Irishdiver]

I'm rolling aroiund the floor laughing my head off!

This stuff is brilliant. I have a pain in my side!

 

[DivePartner1]

Tired joke, but nice new avatar, Dee. Please! Lawyers hunger for NEW lawyer jokes!