My gear came the other day and I tried my beloved jets on the Rock boots:
SQUEEK, SQUEEK,
TWIST, TWIST!
I got em on, but thet were TIGHT! One of the things I liked about the jets when I was diving wet was that they were big and comfy.
So I went to my LDS and bit hard. I ordered a pair of Turtles with slinkies (the new Halcyon ones that don't look homemade. Pretty slick).
As soon as I got home I got suspicious looks from my sad Jets sitting pitifully in the corner:
JETS: Where were YOU all day!
ME: (Guiltily): Uh just... you know, out.
JETS: OUT? Out? Out at the DIVE SHOP, you mean!
ME: Well... um, yeah. Maybe.
JETS: No MAYBE about it! You were looking at other fins today, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU!!
ME: YES!! YES! All right! Are you satisfied?! YES! I went to the shop and I met another pair of fins! All right? Yes and they were beautiful and, and , and they give me my SPACE!
JETS: (Shocked, gasping): NO! I don't want to hear it! It's those, those TURTLES, isn't it?!
ME: Yeah, so what if it is?!
JETS: I know their story well. They come along when a diver is a little too attached to his Jets, and they grab his attention with their bigger...FOOT POCKETS, and the next thing you know petite fins like me are discarded to the used gear section of a dingy LDS!
ME: NO!
JETS: YES!
ME: NO! It's not true!!
JETS: YES! Just leave me now and get it over with!
ME: NO! I STILL LOVE YOU!
(pause, then Jets speaks quietly and tentaviely at first)
JETS: Do you really?
ME: Yes. I Just have to be with Turtl--
JETS: No! Don't speak that name!
ME: Okay, but I have to be with...those fins for awhile. Just for a little while.
JETS: But what about...us?
ME: We'll always have...Florida.
JETS: Florida?!
ME: Yeah, baby. Just you (left foot), you (right foot), and me. In the warm ocean.
JETS: I don't know, Ray. I'll have to think about it. This new arrangement will take some getting used to.
ME: Take all the time you need, baby. I'll leave you alone to think about it. (Ray exits, to get some coffee and watch SpongeBob Squarepants, leaving his Jet fins alone to ponder the future).
To be continued?
Fade out to feminine hygine commercial...
Goat out.
SQUEEK, SQUEEK,
TWIST, TWIST!
I got em on, but thet were TIGHT! One of the things I liked about the jets when I was diving wet was that they were big and comfy.
So I went to my LDS and bit hard. I ordered a pair of Turtles with slinkies (the new Halcyon ones that don't look homemade. Pretty slick).
As soon as I got home I got suspicious looks from my sad Jets sitting pitifully in the corner:
JETS: Where were YOU all day!
ME: (Guiltily): Uh just... you know, out.
JETS: OUT? Out? Out at the DIVE SHOP, you mean!
ME: Well... um, yeah. Maybe.
JETS: No MAYBE about it! You were looking at other fins today, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU!!
ME: YES!! YES! All right! Are you satisfied?! YES! I went to the shop and I met another pair of fins! All right? Yes and they were beautiful and, and , and they give me my SPACE!
JETS: (Shocked, gasping): NO! I don't want to hear it! It's those, those TURTLES, isn't it?!
ME: Yeah, so what if it is?!
JETS: I know their story well. They come along when a diver is a little too attached to his Jets, and they grab his attention with their bigger...FOOT POCKETS, and the next thing you know petite fins like me are discarded to the used gear section of a dingy LDS!
ME: NO!
JETS: YES!
ME: NO! It's not true!!
JETS: YES! Just leave me now and get it over with!
ME: NO! I STILL LOVE YOU!
(pause, then Jets speaks quietly and tentaviely at first)
JETS: Do you really?
ME: Yes. I Just have to be with Turtl--
JETS: No! Don't speak that name!
ME: Okay, but I have to be with...those fins for awhile. Just for a little while.
JETS: But what about...us?
ME: We'll always have...Florida.
JETS: Florida?!
ME: Yeah, baby. Just you (left foot), you (right foot), and me. In the warm ocean.
JETS: I don't know, Ray. I'll have to think about it. This new arrangement will take some getting used to.
ME: Take all the time you need, baby. I'll leave you alone to think about it. (Ray exits, to get some coffee and watch SpongeBob Squarepants, leaving his Jet fins alone to ponder the future).
To be continued?
Fade out to feminine hygine commercial...
Goat out.
