Marvel, i believe the problem is that some Mod actions are perceived as unilateral and not thought-out.
a lot of the time this comes from the Mod's tone and choice of words
one thing the Mods could do to avoid this perception is to make sure they are professional and neutral in their official postings.
there is no need to use unnecessary verbal force or quasi-threats.
to their credit, 95% of all Mods do an outstanding job of this. there are just a few that probably could benefit from sensititivy training
on the other hand, if members want to be treated with respect, they should act with respect. just because a Mod said something that upset you doesn't give you carte-blanche to get rude or insulting. this is a private board, and if you don't like it, well ... you don't have to be here ...
ultimately, i'd like to see a lot more respect between Mods and users, and i would have their interactions, even when concerning discipline, to be a dialogue rather than a barked order to desist on one end and a personal retaliation on the other.
as the propriety of banning someone, or what punishment is given, that's all with the Mods. you are the staff, and you have the authority to do it without having to answer to the members.
however, the more above-board and neutral your actions appear, the less criticism they will draw.
you are dealing with the public, and for the public, appearances are important