:fishy:
What does a blonde see when she looks in a box of Cheerios?
Doughnut seeds
What does a blonde see when she looks in a box of Cheerios?
Doughnut seeds
Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread
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nicodaemos
Guest
An Irishman, a Mexican-American, and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch, and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican-American opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage, and jumps to his death. The Mexican-American opens his lunch, sees a burrito, and he jumps too. The blonde guy opens his lunch, sees the bologna, and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican-American's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas or even a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turns and stares at the blond's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she says. "He makes his own lunch."
The Mexican-American opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage, and jumps to his death. The Mexican-American opens his lunch, sees a burrito, and he jumps too. The blonde guy opens his lunch, sees the bologna, and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican-American's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas or even a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turns and stares at the blond's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she says. "He makes his own lunch."
Welshman
senior member
Nicodaemos
Great joke. It'll go down well in the pub tonight!
regards
Great joke. It'll go down well in the pub tonight!
regards
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Wreck Ranger once bubbled...
Your f*****g fingers broken
That's all I can think of for now!
That's classic
A blond and a red head are walking down the sidewalk. The blond looks down and sees a compact lying on the sidewalk. She opens it up and looks in the mirror. She looks at the red head and says, the girl in there looks awfully familiar. The red head says let me see, so the blond hands her the compact. The red head looks in the mirror, hands it back and says its me you idiot.
Ian Wigg bubbled:
"Did you hear about the blonde who spent 6 months trying doing a 10,000 piece jigsaw of a chicken?"
YES, it turned out to be a box of Kelloggs Corn Flakes!!
POP, burst your bubble!
LOL
MikeD
"blfish:
"Did you hear about the blonde who spent 6 months trying doing a 10,000 piece jigsaw of a chicken?"
YES, it turned out to be a box of Kelloggs Corn Flakes!!
POP, burst your bubble!
LOL
MikeD
"blfish:
danw2002
Contributor
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee," Before we
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please
pronounce where we are...very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiing."
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee," Before we
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please
pronounce where we are...very slowly?"
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiing."
CTurtle
Contributor
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid...and, yes, Linda is a blonde.
(the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid...and, yes, Linda is a blonde.
A blond happens upon a brunette out in the middle of a remote hi-way jumping on one leg back and forth across the center lane. She hears the brunette counting...."48...48...48...48..." and asks what is she doing....
The brunette replies, "I'm playing line hop-scotch, wanna' play?"
"Sure!" and the blond gets in behind the brunette and both are counting...." 48...48...48...48..."
Hearing the faint rumble of the 18 wheelers tires, the brunette steps off the hi-way...
and the back on the hi-way.... "49...49...49..."
tony
The brunette replies, "I'm playing line hop-scotch, wanna' play?"
"Sure!" and the blond gets in behind the brunette and both are counting...." 48...48...48...48..."
Hearing the faint rumble of the 18 wheelers tires, the brunette steps off the hi-way...
and the back on the hi-way.... "49...49...49..."
tony
danw2002
Contributor
and some more, dont think they have been posted yet....
SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT:
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use her new AM radio at night.
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? ... They're too hard to retrain.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? ...Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What is the definition of eternity? ...4 blondes at a 4-way stop.:bonk: :bonk:
SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT:
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happen around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use her new AM radio at night.
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? ... They're too hard to retrain.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists? ...Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What is the definition of eternity? ...4 blondes at a 4-way stop.:bonk: :bonk:
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