I'm the Pariah again

[CT-Rich]

I think we have heard Matt's side. I don't want to bleabor the point. It may well have been that the captain knew the buddy was on board and wanted to make sure that the unaccompanied diver in the water was okay and not disoriented or otherwise impaired (bent, embolism, partial drowning, concussion, out of air heart attack, stroke, genital warts or embarassing bad breath). If there were other divers still in the water and Matt was signalling an emergency. The Captain has a dilema. If Matt drowns he faces trying to recover a victim in the water that may be savable but only if he acts immediately. On the hand he risks creating a dangerous situation for any other divers still in the water and unaware of the moving boat. I can understand the captain wanting to get an okay as a top priority. He probably already knew about the buddy issue. Therefore he would also know that a novice diver was alone in the water and not responding with an okay was a bad thing.

From the Captain's perspective a buddy seperation just became something a whole lot worse.

 

[nimoh]

whether or not it was communicated, the captain should know.

1. all divers paired off, and a diver surfaces without a buddy - means the buddy is still in the water.
2. before diving the captain should be aware of the buddy assignments, possibly even a list of names.

granted, these things don't always happen, but I think it is very likely that the captain was engaged in a search for a missing diver. I will agree though, that if it wasn't communicated, it should have been.

Having the benefit of hindsight, I am not intending to criticize Matt's actions, but when the captain signals OK, you respond for own personal condition. The captain is already aware that you and your buddy have separated. If your buddy is on the boat, then the captain wants to know if you need to be rescued.

If your buddy is not on the boat, then the captain wants to know if he/she needs to rescue you before engaging a missing diver search protocol.

 

[Mike]

That's been exactly my point in both of my other posts in this thread. It's never been stated by Matt (re-read his narrative carefully) whether or not the buddy communicated what happened to the Captain. It puts a very different light on the actions of the Captain if he did as now they're presumed looking for a single diver who swam off and left his buddy for some reason. It changes the entire complexity of the situation. Either way they're dealing with a solo diver in the water situation - just that it's likely uncertain at the time of the root cause.

As I mentioned earlier, I can't believe that the DM/Captain who - one would assume is using a re-boarding checklist - wouldn't have made some comment when the buddy checked in.

I've asked both Matt and Mike to comment on how they know this wasn't communicated in both of my previous posts - neither has. I've previously highlighted the questionable areas in this post: http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/basic-scuba-discussions/428559-im-pariah-again-2.html#post6429766

Here is how it works:


Until Matt says differently or the captain shows up, I can only comment based on what Matt has written. My replies have been based on the narrative Matt has told.

If there is more to the story then there would be more to my replies or a difference in my replies, till that time, my replies are based upon what has been disclosed. I'm not here to call Matt a liar, only to respond to what he's posted so far.

 

[Hawkwood]

Here is how it works:


Until Matt says differently or the captain shows up, I can only comment based on what Matt has written. My replies have been based on the narrative Matt has told.

If there is more to the story then there would be more to my replies or a difference in my replies, till that time, my replies are based upon what has been disclosed. I'm not here to call Matt a liar, only to respond to what he's posted so far.

I think this is the crux of why you were asked the question:

.....
Meanwhile, his [delete] bag dive buddy is sitting on the boat watching it all unfold, watching the captain hailing Mark, not opening his [delete] mouth for an instant to step in and tell the captain, Marks probably looking for me, since we got separated and I like a A-hole just abandoned him, swam to the boat and never said a single solitary word about me losing my buddy to anybody while Mark for all I know was trapped underwater dying...

You seem to be pretty certain about what happened. I suppose that is why diversteve asked.

 

[diversteve]

I'm not calling Matt a liar either. But you made statements condemning the buddy without knowing though. As EED pointed out, we don't know, you don't know, likely Matt doesn't even know.

Meanwhile, his douche bag dive buddy is sitting on the boat watching it all unfold, watching the captain hailing Mark, not opening his pussy mouth for an instant to step in and tell the captain, Marks probably looking for me, since we got separated and I like a A-hole just abandoned him, swam to the boat and never said a single solitary word about me losing my buddy to anybody while Mark for all I know was trapped underwater dying.

Matt was trying to do the right thing, while his buddy was on board the whole time with zero concerns at all for Matt's welfare. If the captain needed a victim to spew venom on, it should have been Matt's buddy with a "You lost your buddy, returned to the boat and never said a word to anybody?????!!!!"

Or what was said. The Captain needs to be concerned with the welfare of all the divers in the water so depending on what he was told, he doesn't know whether to start gearing up a rescue diver or if Matt's playing around in 20' below the boat until he popped up some yards away. Not to defend the Captain's actions/attitude especially but sometimes relief manifests itself in excess adrenaline which he needed to vent - admittedly in a bad way.

The only reason I questioned you is that you seemed to have a clear idea that the buddy hadn't communicated anything and I was wondering where you had gotten that from.

I don't really think we'll ever know what really happened unless the buddy or the Captain see this and present their version of the events. Matt's view of the situation is colored by both his own subjective interpretations and by not being on the boat during that time to know what was said or being done at the time.

In the end, all that matters is everyone lived to talk about it.

 

[The Chairman]

Hmnnn, this was an interesting read with a number of tangents going back and forth. As a former buddy with the Doc, maybe I can add some insight for both him and his buddy.

Situational awareness is critical when you dive. You should be making contact with your buddy on a relatively frequent schedule. This can be visual, or even audible. Quite often, I am leading a dive as I did with the Doc in Cozumel. One of the first things I do, is to learn how my buddy breathes: what s/he sounds like underwater. As long as I can hear them breathe, we are pretty close. The OP made a comment about how easy it was to be my buddy, and frankly it was because I could always hear him, and I kept it that way.

Secondly, ALL signs needs to be answered CLEARLY. When the boat captain signaled, he deserved a signal back. At this point rather than shout, I would have signed that I was missing my buddy after I made an OK sign. His buddy screwed up when he made a signal and THOUGHT that the OP had seen it. Without some affirmation, you should assume that the signal was missed. Make a noise, shine a light or grab a fin to get their attention and re-send the signal until you get some sort of affirmation.

Third and finally: Relax. React, but don't over-react. Signalling to the boat that you are missing your buddy is a good action but hopefully you didn't skip your safety stop. Diving is a relatively safe activity, and it's best to approach a missing buddy situation as more of an inconvenience than an all out catastrophe where you are trying to notify the next of kin before you get out of the water.

 

[lowviz]

That is so YOU, Pete. Nicely done!

Love to dive with you two, we could start a new thread: The Poobah, the Pariah, and the PIA.

 

[TSandM]

I think one place where things could have been different is with diver recovery procedures on the part of the boat. On several boats off which we have dived, the teams are recorded before the divers get in the water. That way, if one person comes back, the boat immediately knows that a second (or second and third) party is NOT back, and they'll question the lone diver to find out what happened, and why only one person returned. If the boat had done this, they would have known that Matt would be surfacing alone, and could possibly have yelled at him to tell him his buddy was safe -- this would have simplified his communication issue, because he would only be reporting on his own status.

I also think a point Pete made deserves reiteration. If a signal isn't answered, it cannot be presumed to have been received or understood. I was taught that some signals are "command" signals, and MUST be echoed; "thumbs" and "hold" are two of these. In general, though, I echo any signal that isn't a question, as long as I agree with it. If the leader says "that way", I'll answer with the same signal, so he knows I understood. Having to watch behavior to tell if a signal was received is a poor method of verification, because if it wasn't received or was misunderstood, it doesn't take long for a diver to get out of communication RANGE, as appears to have happened in this case.

 

[Scuba_Noob]

This thread (and Matt's previous self-responsibility thread) is kind of harsh. Many people are accusing Matt and some even say that he should pick a different hobby. While I am somewhat entertained while reading through the drama, some comments are just insulting.

Then again, the thread should probably not be in the Basic section but rather in the Whine and Cheese forum or the Near Misses forum, where people can more freely provide their criticism without worrying about scaring away new divers. As well, there are many excellent points here, if you sift through the muck.

I feel that the major problem (like Matt's previous problem) is communication.

1. Communication of the dive plan with your dive buddy (which you should always do with a new buddy or at a new site) - signals, specific plan, return pressure, direction, buddy distance, safety stop, emergency protocol (including lost buddy), and all the normal stuff that takes less than five minutes before even gearing up.

2. Social communication and perception - the major point.
a. the captain asks you a question in the middle of the ocean, you answer and don't give him attitude - this is for your safety. You only perceived that he was trying to be dominant, when he was probably just stressed that he thought you were in an emergency because you didn't signal anything. He apologized for his tone, but he shouldn't have to apologize for being worried about your safety.
b. people's avoidance of you on the boat - clearly you were emotional and stressed, and usually people will give you space to cool down. However, you perceived that they were avoiding you not out of politeness but because they didn't like you and thought you were a "pariah". They clearly were not, considering a couple of them asked if you were all right and one of them volunteered to buddy with you. You chose to be the social pariah by sulking alone (my perception).
c. your buddy knows what he did wrong, and he apologized - accept it; it's probably legitimate. Both of you made errors in the buddy separation. Don't read too much into it.

Look, you did some good and you did some bad. It's great that you're worried about your buddy and the separation. However, it was a new situation for you in the middle of the ocean, so you weren't sure how to signal or react. Your biases may have caused you to perceive others as hostile when they were not. You may need to learn to take things at face value and not over-interpret, especially since most divers I know (including me) are blunt and straightforward.

I'm glad everything is all right, and hopefully this is a learning lesson. I believe your diving attitude and habits may need to change or else a situation like this may happen again.

 

[lowviz]

...//...Then again, the thread should probably not be in the Basic section but rather in the Whine and Cheese forum or the Near Misses forum, where people can more freely provide their criticism ...//....

I believe that the OP is much more comfortable with this thread being where it is.