You've clearly struck a nerve with experienced instructors and divers with this line of questioning. This is because we've all seen this mentality permeate technical diving, and many of us have lost friends over the years to it. Simply answering it, without correcting the mentality behind it, is an implicit approval of said mentality. That's why you're getting beat down here. I've taken the liberty to re-write your post in a way that wouldn't have ended up with 11 pages of sadness, should anyone search for this information in the future (whether you're trolling with this post or not). My additions are in italics:
1. Feel dumb because I used "search" thinking this would have been covered. Didn't find much. If I missed some good threads, please point me to them.
2. Padi OWSI for ten years. Bored. I need a new challenge. I want to go from tec zero to tec hero in the shortest time. Meaning one course after another as much as possible so I don't have to take unnecessary time off and I keep travel cost low. I want to avoid the take one course, come back next month for next course schedule. but I don't have tech experience beyond chatting with a few tec divers on boats. I'm wondering what the best way to achieve this goal is. I understand that tech diving requires a significantly higher skill set and time commitment and i'm willing to put in the effort to achieve these goals in a safe way. I'd like to master these skills, and have enough real world tech diving experience, that I can be of value to people, whose lives may depend on me passing this knowledge on correctly, in the future.
3. Pros and cons of various agencies. Which is in the most demand for employment? Who is generally well regarded throughout the industry for their quality of instructors and students, training material, and is at the forefront of new methodology to make diving safer?
4. If I wanted to go with PADI, List of courses from start to finish. PADI is Enriched Air, Enriched Air Instructor, Deep Instructor, MSDT, Tec 40, Tec 45, Tec 50, Tec Deep Instructor, then TriMix, Sidemount, Gas Blender, and CCR... Do I have that right? Besides minimum standards, what kind of technical diving experience is appropriate between levels of training and before considering moving to instructor ratings?
5. Gear upgrades? More regs? BP/W? What else? Any specific recommendations?
6. My long term goal is to teach (technical wreck diving in the North East/ Great Lakes/ South Florida/ Northern England/ or teach cave diving in Florida/Mexico/etc). Does anyone have Suggested locations or specific dive centers? I can go worldwide. suggestions for instructor/s who could potentially train me up from the ground up to eventually be a great instructor in the environment i'd like to teach in someday?
7. How long will should this take? How much will it cost?
8. I'm the type that likes to get the texts months ahead of a class and read the hell out of them before I show up. What could I start reading now that will help me excel at this? Also, are there any in water skills that I could begin to familiarize myself with, without exceeding my current training level, before class?
9. What else can I do to be an excellent student and an excellent instructor?
10. What questions have I not thought of yet.