If your significant other doesn't want to learn to dive DON'T Pressure them!!!

[jpcpat]

As an Instructor I cringe every time I hear someone say that they want to learn to dive because their significant other wants them to.

I cringe, too. Whenever I suspect it, I find a way to pull the person aside and let them know it's up to them and that I will support them either way. If they don't want to dive, I don't want them in the water. Once they feel like it's their decision to make, things change, and virtually all discover that the at least want to try diving.

If you're truly don't want to learn to dive, tell the instructor.

 

[laurelgsc]

I love my SO but I don't want to spend every waking moment with him. I really love outdoor things, he really likes computers, movies and video games. He is kind of a home body and doesn't mind if I travel without him. He is certified, but it's not really his thing. We went to Bonaire and he snorkeled while I dove or he read a book, he was perfectly happy and we had a great time.

 

[DeputyDan]

Plan your dive trips when the wife plans her vacation

 

[DOkie]

Here's another view: I was the BIGGEST "NO WAY, I'M NOT DOING IT, blah blah blah person you'd ever meet. I spent many years of hauling dive gear, going on the boat, and listening to all of the stories. I was terrified of the thought of being under water, but when he offered to pay for the class, I thought "alright - I'll fail and then this will be a mute point". Didn't fail. Instead went on to get my AOW, Ice Diving, Rescue, etc. etc. etc. Love it. Had it not been for his persistance and his encouragement, I never would have discovered this sport. I've dove with plenty of buddies, but he is the best by far. There is just something about diving with the person you've been married to for 18 years. (We've been together since we were 16) We know each others weaknesses, body language, capabilities, etc. Oh yeah! - and it's nice to spend time together doing something where we don't have to talk to each other (It HAS been 20 years ya know!!!)

 

[mor]

I love my SO but I don't want to spend every waking moment with him.


I couldn't agree more, doing something w/o him gives me something to talk about. And he thinks I'm really brave -- what could be sexier?? Of course I wouldn't stop him if he wanted to learn, but I know I will never teach him. We learned a long time ago when he tried to teach me to rock climb, teaching eachother skills that involve risking your life does not work for us.

 

[redacted]

My wife was coersed into getting certified with me by the local shop when she signed me up for OW. She was a comfortable swimmer but had never even snorkeled. She was, to say the least, apprehensive. It was not easy for her. The share air in the pool with a defective mouthpiece on my regulator (provided by the shop) just about ended it for her. But she stuck with it and noe, 400+ dives later, she is a very competent diver.

Pressure, no. Encouragement, you bet. It really is nice to dive as a couple.

 

[bmcsteve]

Diving is someting that I have always wanted to do since I was a kid. I grew up listening to the stories my dad would tell about it, which is part of the reason why I never did it until I turned 40. See, he was a navy diver... so some of his stories included all of the heavy swimming, PT, and underwater harrassment that he went through during navy dive school in the early 70's. I just figured that there was no way I could deal with all of that. This coupled with the fact that the woman I was married to at the time was deathly afraid of the ocean, or any water that she couldn't see the bottom.... (watched Jaws too many times I think ) prevented me from diving.

Then I met my current wife, and we decided that we wanted to dive on our honeymoon. So we took classes together and got certified. Then diving became an obsession for me and just a hobby for her. She likes to dive "occasionally" and I would like to dive every chance I get. For most this wouldn't really be an issue, but to her, diving is "our thing that we do together" and she throws a fit if I ever even suggest diving without her..... but she has no desire to do it as often as I want to.

My passion/obsession for diving has caused her to not like it as much, so I think we are headed for a showdown soon. She is just going to have to let go of the whole "our thing" deal and let me dive when I want, and join me when she wants to. Because I dont see my passion for diving declining any time soon.

 

[DivingPrincessE]

For most this wouldn't really be an issue, but to her, diving is "our thing that we do together" and she throws a fit if I ever even suggest diving without her..... but she has no desire to do it as often as I want to.

That would drive me absolutely crazy! I would pitch my own fit in response to that kind of behavior.

My passion/obsession for diving has caused her to not like it as much, so I think we are headed for a showdown soon. She is just going to have to let go of the whole "our thing" deal and let me dive when I want, and join me when she wants to. Because I dont see my passion for diving declining any time soon.

If that were me, there would have been a showdown long ago. She needs to get a clue.

 

[reel-wild]

my son is certified my daughter is doing her certification in april, my wife has no interest in diving. but she loves the beach and watching bubbles from the boat. the only pressure i get is from the two local dive shops, evey time i go to get tank fills i get asked whats it going to take to get your wife in the water. my answer its not happening plus shes a good top side buddy

 

[meltedtime]

I did the resort course in San Andres, Colombia. The wife was terrified to even try on the gear in the pool but she did with a little encouragement. I told her I was going for the ocean dive, she could stay at the resort and relax. She's one of those "if you can do it, I can do it" types. She was a little scared but did the ocean dive and loved it. We got our certification upon our return to Canada.

That was 2 years ago. We just returned from another wonderful week of diving in SAI.