I swear, I am not making this up.

[Walter]

I have a thermal bag to keep hot things hot and cold things cold. It has instructions printed on it that tell you it can't do both at once.

 

[Hank49]

It's amazing, the amount of energy spent on seemingly silly things, having to cover one's butt to prevent a ridiculous law suit.

 

[redacted]

The overwrap tastes like chicken.

 

[TSandM]

Sometimes you just get amazed at how stupid people can really be . . . I had a patient come into the ER with a toothache. She had been at the walk-in clinic about two hours earlier, had seen a doctor and gotten a prescription for pain medication. So I asked her, "Is the pain medication not working for you then?" And she said, "I haven't taken any of it." Nonplused, I asked, "Why not?" And she said, "The label says to take it every four hours, and it hasn't been four hours yet."

THOSE are the people those labels are meant for. Unfortunately, I'm not sure they can read.

 

[airsix]

The instruction manual that comes with some Timex watches include a warning not to eat the watch. I'm not kidding. (maybe it's a joke?)

-Ben M.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Bleach has a funny aftertaste...

It's no coincidence that urinal cakes are the perfect size for a hamburger bun.

*sprinting across the room with scissors....*

 

[Green_Manelishi]

I brought a South Beach breakfast wrap to eat at work this morning, and I'm reading the directions on the box. This is what they said:

1) open one end of the plastic overwrap
2) put on microwave safe plate
3) cook for 1:45
4) remover plastic overwrap before eating.

I am not making this up. Are people really that stupid?

(Allegedly) overheard at a gun-shop ... "If I look down the barrel, will I see the bullet coming out?"

Years ago a rifle that I purchased had a red, stop-sign shaped tag attached to the trigger guard. The text read: "Warning: Use of this product could cause injury or death."

So, yes, (some) people really are that stupid.

 

[fairybasslet]

Let me know when you decide to grow a sense of humor. Your personal shots at me are entirely uncalled for and unappreciated. That "ignore user" button sure comes in handy. See ya'.

I thought it was funny. Gross, but funny. But not as gross as your crapping superstition.

 

[creamofwheat]

Written on the bottom of a box that a pie was in: "do not turn upside down"

Ooops, too late.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

I thought it was funny. Gross, but funny. But not as gross as your crapping superstition.

No no: That falls under "ritual." LOL