I lost my buddy.

[diver 85]

To the OP, always remember there's tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week or next month ie "The viz is less than a foot".......

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

It sounds like one of the skills that James needs brushing up on is how to be a dive buddy. Find a non-confrontational way of letting him know how that incident made you feel, and ask that if you should get separated again to please surface and save you the anxiety. If he truly is your friend, he should not want to be the cause of you feeling that way ... especially at a time when you're supposed to be having fun ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[DaleC]

Also, you need to decide what type of dive you are doing.

On the one hand you are 0-24 dives and your buddy is rusty

On the other hand you are diving in a familiar spot and not too deep

On the third hand (I'm a martian) you are engaging in a very technically demanding form of buddy diving.

With less than 1' of vis you are basically needing to rely on close side by side formation, physical contact and strong lights to maintain dependable buddy cohesion (if it's at all important to you). Otherwise, expect to become seperated frequently. Going through multiple surfacing/lost buddy drills during a single dive could be just as dangerous as diving solo IMO (from a DCS/AGE pov for a new/rusty diver) not that I'm advocating solo diving for your situation.

With that in mind, an easy way to broach the subject without dredging up the past would be to actually develop some close contact skills for the two of you to follow and to put practicing those skills into your future dive plans. Then you will both be on the same page naturally.

 

[farsidefan1]

I could see it going either way. I understand the new divers fear of having something terrible happen to their buddy, but the OP said that this person was a rescue diver with many dives and still clearly had great basic skills (which they checked and also did equipment checks at 15ft.). Also, they were only at 30 ft. when separated. Just because a diver loses a buddy doesn't mean they're instantly going to start drowning or having issues. If it was an overhead area or somewhere with serious entanglement hazards, that's a different story, but being in a quarry (probably prepped for divers) is a bit different. I think the panic was just that - irrational fear, albeit very understandable in the moment. Setting off the alarm may have only caused further embarrassment for the OP in this case, especially when the buddy surfaced without a care in the world.

I fully agree with safety first - talk about these things prior to each dive. Also, understand each other's ability. If it were a brand new diver, I'd probably have worried just as much, but given the info. we have, I think not screaming for help
may have been the better option here.

I have to disagree. The fact that the "missing" diver was much more experienced is MORE of a reason to sound the alarm. As an experienced diver he should know the protocal and shouuld have returned to the surface after a minute of not being able to find his buddy. I would have a calm talk with him and say WTF were you thinking? You were down there with a relatively new diver whom you lost and you didn't care??? Ok, maybe not so calmly. If he doesn't see this as a problem I'd say you have had your last dive with him as a buddy. If not you are the one with the problem.

 

[Diver003]

I have to disagree. The fact that the "missing" diver was much more experienced is MORE of a reason to sound the alarm. As an experienced diver he should know the protocal and shouuld have returned to the surface after a minute of not being able to find his buddy. I would have a calm talk with him and say WTF were you thinking? You were down there with a relatively new diver whom you lost and you didn't care??? Ok, maybe not so calmly. If he doesn't see this as a problem I'd say you have had your last dive with him as a buddy. If not you are the one with the problem.

I certainly understand your point, but thought I'd add a little more so perhaps my line of thinking is a bit clearer. I have surfaced after having lost a buddy and become frustrated when they did not immediately surface - lack of safety, lack of respect, whatever you want to call it will fit the bill. Still, just because they are now solo does not mean that all of a sudden a medical problem, serious dive accident, drowning, etc. is bound to occur, or even more likely - that is simply jumping to a big "what if".

My main thought originally was that this diver was panicked on the surface. What may have felt like 10 minutes may have in reality been less, which is a common occurrence when under duress. Even if we assume 10 minutes is accurate, the dive reached a depth of 45 feet. Perhaps he spent 1 minute looking around, maybe 2 which is not unheard of to avoid the hassle of surfacing. Maybe he went back to check the 30 ft. platform like the OP did. Regardless, if you add 30 ft./min. ascents and a 3 min. safety stop (my computer requests a stop on any dive below 30 ft.), there is a very small discrepancy between a safe buddy search and ascent on the part of the "missing" diver and his later surfacing.

Additionally, going solo if separated may have been his SOP. It wasn't discussed prior. It just seems like calling to help for others, resulting in rescuers gearing up and/or 911 called would have been jumping the gun after such a short period of time.

Finally, I do agree - this must be discussed before each dive, because there are times when you may opt to go solo and times to surface.

 

[kasdeva]

@gcs118: Total time for separation at the surface was one minute looking around, another three minutes chasing bubbles and time for a safety stop then ten minutes waiting for him to surface, I check my dive computer. I ended the dive with 180 bar, he ended with 70 bar.

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses. Some sleep has helped me at least get a grip on my own response to the situation. I served in the armed forces, this has left me with a strong attitude to adherence to protocol.

The buddy system provides a few fail safes. The two main ones being redundancy and someone to raise alarm if something is wrong. When separation happens the dive is ended for those reasons and protocol dictates that I raise alarm at the surface if the other diver does not surface because if both adhered to protocol the other diver is guaranteed to be in need of help.

When I failed to raise alarm I assumed the responsibility of weighing the mostly benign conditions and an experienced diver ignoring protocol against the possibility that he could be in real danger. That is a situation that I resent, no margin, no matter how small is appropriate for me to assume about another person's safety.

If the protocol agreed was different: same day - same ocean, dive sort of together I will take care of myself if we get separated, we both agree to a different risk profile and I stop being responsible for making a decision on my buddies behalf about his safety.

Be sure, if we ever dive together, we will discuss separation protocol before we go down.

I should go check out the DIR guys, they seem to take protocol seriously.

 

[tddfleming]

I am sorry that your adventures into diving did not go as planned. This is one of my biggest worries-getting seperated from my dive buddy. For a couple of reasons, my dive buddy is also my 12 yr old daughter. What I have found that has worked very well for us and so that she takes it seriously. Please keep in mind, that buddy skills was not stressed in our class, it is mentioned in padi book but never stressed. What I have come up with is from reading SB and from our own experiences.

I have made it clear to my buddy, we are to stay within arms reach of each other, I have her on my right side, almost 100% of the time. I know if I look to my right and she is not there then I would have lost her. We check each other every few sec/mins and give the OK sign and the other must respond. I have also made it very clear that if she breaks my buddy rule, we will end the dive and sit on shore. Not much fun in that. So far so good, she is taking it very serious. And she is proving to be a wonderful buddy. We both are learning a lot from each other and how to be a good buddy. We always talk about what we did good on and what we should not have done or what we need to change.

The other thing that I have added is a UW rattle to each of our BC's. In our OW class our inst had one and whenever we heard it we stopped and looked for our inst.

This weekend we went out for our Nav course. During my surface compass swim, I heard a rattle, without even thinking I stopped and looked up for my buddy. She was fine she was with the inst. The sound came from below, but I heard it and reacted the way I want us to react when we hear that sound. During our underwater compass swims, we were in touch contact sharing responsiblies, taking turns navigation, while the other looked around, we heard a rattle again and both of us stopped dead in our tracks to look for the rattle. Even when we were right next to each other and I was holding onto her. It has become habit for both of us. While I do not rely on the sound rattle completely, it is just one more tool that we can use. Since we have made the side by side rule and stick to it, and at times we will just hold hands and swim. It is much nicer when things can be less stressful and we can have fun. I think it becomes ingrained when you practice it and make it a rule that cannot be broken.


We have learned who is strong in which skills and we play to that. She loves to watch her computer, while ascending to make sure we are going at the right speed, I am the look out and we face each other and within arms reach. Our new inst. was waiting and ready to grab us, as he was prepared for a run away ascent. However, I think the way we have divided our responsiblitis for each other, it works for us. Inst. was inpressed with how we ascended and how we work together. All I am saying is that a good buddy takes time and encouragement.

Good Luck

 

[TSandM]

I should go check out the DIR guys, they seem to take protocol seriously.

This is one of the things I love about the way I dive. One of the others is that it is simply understood, and requires no discussion, that you enter the water as a team, and you come out as a team. A very large part of the training I've taken has been learning to maintain awareness of my buddies, where they are and HOW they are, through many sorts of distractions and problems. It is an extremely comfortable way to dive.

 

[DaleC]

I should go check out the DIR guys, they seem to take protocol seriously.

Perhaps you should but you probably won't like the suggestion they make, which would be to not dive in 1' of vis with your experience level. Ready to hear that?

You seem to be focusing on your buddies fault but I think you failed to show the appropriate situational awareness to realise that the buddy system, as you know it, was inadequate for the dive you were doing. You keep talking about the buddy system but all I can see is two divers taking the wrong toolbox into low/no vis conditions. You need a whole different wrench for that kind of diving.

 

[kasdeva]

Perhaps you should but you probably won't like the suggestion they make, which would be to not dive in 1' of vis with your experience level. Ready to hear that?

You seem to be focusing on your buddies fault but I think you failed to show the appropriate situational awareness to realise that the buddy system, as you know it, was inadequate for the dive you were doing. You keep talking about the buddy system but all I can see is two divers taking the wrong toolbox into low/no vis conditions. You need a whole different wrench for that kind of diving.

You are correct and your comment has been noted. Looking back, even I, with my obvious lack of experience evaluating dive conditions, should have taken better precautions. I will not make this mistake again.

Thank you.