Sylvester- First off, welcome!
Shore diving up here is always an iffy thing as far as vis is concerned. It's usually not the dark, claustrophobic environment you are fearing it might be though. You are going to average 5 to 15' vis in most places, and the water is somewhat turbid, so it's not exactly "bright and sunny" down there.
Once you get used to it, the diving up here can be great. Unless your wife has a real problem with claustrophobia, you should be able to ease her into diving here, and slowly get used to it. The vis is generally better (say 20 to 40') offshore, but boat trips are a bit more demanding and more expensive than shore diving.
The dive season is nearing it's end for non dry/non ice divers. Jen and I are doing some shore diving this weekend. Long Island will be a bit of a haul, but you and your wife are welcome to join us if you really want to try to get a dive in before winter sets in. I can take you to a relatively shallow, sheltered cove that will be a good "confidence builder" type dive.
If you're looking for a shorter drive, you can hook up with some of the group going to Dutch Springs. You did mention ocean diving though, and DS is a quarry. Anyway, let me know if you're up for the drive.
Scott