I f*** up and I am ashamed

[Dody]

This question is for the OP and the OP only. That is let the OP response so they can more critically think about the incident.

So now that you have told us what you did wrong, what will you do in the future?

I was 10 meters away from my wife. Too far to stop her. I would not have entered the cave if it was not for this stupid macho thing of wanting to protect the wife. But I would have done the same things for my kids.
The briefing was crap. The DM wanted to please us with the cave but put our life at risk. What is the learnt lesson? I am more risk conscious than my wife and she usually follows my commands under water. In this case, entering the cave was the big mistake.
I could also dive with 6 kg instead of 4.

 

[Domovoi]

I could also dive with 6 kg instead of 4.

This is a great choice. I totally feel you on the wanting to protect your wife however. It was a lesson learned and thankfully nothing (tragic) happened. You were made wiser for it, and now you can bring that experience forward into your future diving!

edit: added a word

 

[rongoodman]

If you can't hold your position anywhere in the water column because you're too light, you need more weight, it's as simple as that.

 

[Dody]

A good exercise is to debrief with someone ( maybe an instructor) and write down the things that contributed to your near miss then fix them - make a mental note of how bad you feel and bring it to mind next time you are tempted to do something like that again.

Your a relatively new diver maybe consider taking another course to broaden your situational awareness or ask a mature instructor to give you a 'tune up'

Well, I took many many courses and it taught me a lot of things

This question is for the OP and the OP only. That is let the OP response so they can more critically think about the incident.

So now that you have told us what you did wrong, what will you do in the future?

First, I would say that that I need to stay closer to my wife but it is difficult. But now, I think that she understands that she should not enter a cave without we don't have the proper training.
The other thing is the underweight vs overweight. I might need to take 2 kg more. One thing surprised me. I was swallowing a lot of sea water trying to get out of this situation and I still don't understand why.

 

[ScubaJCBS]

Yeah I agree with most add weight but, you also need to have a talk with your buddy(Wife). I have the same problem with mine most times. I would also say you inadvertently with the rising anxiety was not exhaling well somewhat holding your breathe which made you rise in the cave.

 

[Dody]

I have always thought that I would sacrifice myself for my dear ones. In this case, I realized that I instead of looking for my wife whereabouts, I tried to save my life. And I am ashamed.

 

[Centrals]

I have always thought that I would sacrifice myself for my dear ones. In this case, I realized that I instead of looking for my wife whereabouts, I tried to save my life. And I am ashamed.

Nothing to be ashamed!
If you could not save your own life then how could you save others?
My suggestion:
1. Extra weight of no more than 1kg.
2. Small torch for both of you on any dive. Dirt cheap but very practical in various ways.
Handheld Dive Lights
3. Better understanding between both of you. There are things that should be agreed before.

 

[drrich2]

One thing surprised me. I was swallowing a lot of sea water trying to get out of this situation and I still don't understand why.

Some regulator 2nd stages can 'breathe wet' (let some water in) if not upright. I wonder if your head was turned sideways, or you were upside down trying to swim downward, etc..., when this happened. You can suck in some spray when you inhale.

Can you tell us more about this 'cave?' Any idea how far back it goes, etc...? I ask because divers on the forum may mention 'cave,' 'cavern' and 'swim-though,' and each term has a different meaning, but a fairly new diver encountering one as a surprise on a dive might not see the distinction. I'm not saying leading you into it by surprise was cool, but I'd like to better understand the situation we're talking about.

I've noticed I can get considerably more positively buoyant when anxious/stressed. I suspect that may have happened to you. I think I unconsciously expand my lung space and hold more air, and this can be hard to overcome in the heat of the moment.

 

[drrich2]

In this case, I realized that I instead of looking for my wife whereabouts, I tried to save my life.

You were in no position to 'save' your wife. One of the first things they teach in a Rescue Diver course is to not make yourself a second victim; it diverts resources such as the guide's attention from dealing with the original victim.

 

[Bubblesong]

What if you had just waited outside cave and they never came out for a while?
The hardest thing you could have done would be to leave your wife to go get help, but it really the only true way to save her, even if it is the opposite of human instinct.