I Do Not Know Why...

[Erik Il Rosso]

I do not consider myself a superman or some sort of extremely experienced diver but I have got nearly 200 dives under my belt...

Every now and then it happens the my dive buddy is my uncle who is a very experienced diver...
He is nearly 60 years old and someone who used to dive before BCs ever existed and so on (no Padi, no SSI)...

My problem is that in my diving carrear I got 5 dives can I could consider bad and all of them with him...

The more I try to do thinks absolutely right, the more I try to show him that I am a fairly good diver the more it seems I've got this sort of bad dives...

I keep a very detailed log book and I am 100 per 100 sure that all my bad dives were with him, no traces of bad dives with any other diver even the "Insta-Buddy"...

I think that only a diver can understand me and I need to know what is happening in my mind when I dive with my uncle...

I need to know why I make silly mistakes when I dive with him...

Maybe I should change sport, I feel depressed (and stupid)...

Ciao Erik Il Rosso

 

[Jcsgt]

First of all, I highly doubt you're stupid. It sounds like you have a lot of respect for your uncle and are trying to hard to impress him. You are probably way harder on yourself than he is. Try to relax and just have fun, concentrate on what you're seeing instead of how you're performing.

 

[The Chairman]

Some people just bring out the worst in someone. Perhaps you are trying TOO HARD with Unc and need to relax. In fact, relaxing is the best piece of advice that I like to give people. It's a big ocean! You're not going to see it all at once, so relax and enjoy what you can see!

 

[mfalco]

Souds like you might be somewhat intimidated by his experience (whether or not you realize it)

 

[SteFord]

I need to know why I make silly mistakes when I dive with him...

What are some of these silly mistakes? Might help us understand some of the frustration you're expressing.

I've had buddies who frustrated me a lot because they were always trying to be good followers - and I would have a hard time keeping track of them as they got around behind my tank out of easy view. There's a lot of little things we all do, I think, when we dive with someone we feel has more experience that can contribute to that feeling of having a totally bad dive. Sometimes they contribute to the problem of getting into rhythm or sync with a dive buddy. Do you start your dives with him with a brief discussion of your dive plan, etc.?

 

[pink]

You must change buddy.
The uncle is a conflit for you.
If you wanna be free underwater, your uncle is only a comparison.
Dont forget: Tu sei un uomo libero.
Baci
Monica

 

[Diveral]

I agree with the others. Relax and do not try to impress your uncle. I believe that you are trying to do too much. I am not a Sea Hunt era diver as your uncle is, but I was trained by and dove with them. They are very skillful and impressive divers but the training, equipment, and dive styles have changed a lot over the past 20 to 30 years.

If your uncle hasn't kept up with the modern dive methods and equipment you will be carrying and using things that are either unfamiliar or considered uneccesary to him. Don't mind it, dive to your training and methods. And above all have fun. He's your uncle and getting on in years. Have fun and enjoy your time with him. Also there's not very many of the Sea Hunt guys left who are diving. It's an honor and a priveledge to dive with them. The sun is setting on these guys and their time is waning.

Be a good dive buddy and enjoy your time together. Also observe his diving and methods and listen to his stories. Then you can tell us what its like to dive with these guys and some of their stories, that way their story won't be lost to the rest of us and their knowledge can be passed along.

I used to love diving with my uncle but he quit diving years ago. I have most of his gear.

AL

 

[Michael Schlink]

Remeber its not a competition, hopefully you can learn something from each other every time you dive together. I have been playing raquetball on and off for many years. When I get a chance to play, I prefer to play someone that is a lot BETTER than me, so even though I don't "look" as good, I learn more and improve faster. I have read several of you posts, I remeber when you got a hole in your wing! Don't let things get you down, AND NEVER THINK ABOUT QUITTING!! NOT AN OPTION LOL. Just keep diving and you'll improve a little bit each dive and before you know it people will be looking at you to see how it's done.-M

 

[TSandM]

Erik, I suspect this is performance anxiety. Let me tell you a story.

I have a dear friend who is my regular practice buddy. He and I have spent hours underwater together, working on skills and embarassing ourselves in front of one another. We've steadily improved, and built a partnership. I think I can speak for him when I say that we truly trust one another.

A month or so ago, we had the chance to dive with an instructor we both know and have profound respect for, but had never been in the water with. The instructor suggested we do a fun dive, and at the end show him some skills. We spent about 40 minutes exploring and having great fun -- finding a number of underwater creatures to share with the instructor (who was not local). At the end, we did some drills.

The debrief? As long as we were DIVING, we looked great. Good skills, good communication, good situational awareness. As soon as we began doing skills, we looked rushed and frantic (and by implication, something less than impressively competent).

A couple of weeks ago, I did a skills dive with a new partner. I had an enormous desire to do well and please my buddy so that he would be willing to work with me again. Needless to say, I made an ***** of myself and messed up drills I can sometimes knock out just fine (not always!)

I'm convinced that diving is about 75% mental. Put yourself under pressure to achieve a goal, and it won't happen. The best diving is when you go down with nothing to achieve, but only to be. Diving is Zen in action. Either learn to let go of your desire to do well for your uncle, or don't dive with him.

 

[knotical]

Consider talking with your uncle. You might both find it helps to discuss your concern, and perhaps to even find humor in it.