how to overcome fear

[clarissa1]

Hi guys,

I really need some help please. I am one of those people who FEAR everything and doing my OW course was a major big step for me!! I am a very panicky person and need help with getting over my fears!

I currently have 9 logged dives in total, but still seem to be extremely nervous when going diving!

I am scared of EVERYTHING! The nights before the dives I can't sleep and keep thinking about things that might go wrong and how I am planning to handle it.

To top everything off I get really sea-sick and people have told me that my being nervous is worsening it.

The things I worry about is stuff like.. what will happen if someone kicks off my mask underwater and I can't see and not find it?? What if something goes wrong with my gear and I can't seem to get my buddy's attention? the list goes on!!!

I really really really want to make a success of this diving thing without constantly worrying about everything! I even put my one hand over my regulator whilst underwater in fear that someone might kick it out of my mouth!

I think I am the only person on this planet that is making such an issue out of diving! please can someone help me...! I refuse to give in to these fears!

 

[Cacia]

okay, here it is. Make friends with the fear. If you like, read some Pema Chodron---it will help in all areas of your life. Embrace the fear, learn to percieve it at something pleasant. I am afraid of EVERYTHING but have trained myself to get a thrill from being afraid and doing it anyway. If you think worse case scenario, but have a plan..you almost get eager for it to happen. really, it is just a mindset. Resisting the fear will not work. Be afraid and train yourself to enjoy the accomplishment and satisfaction of seeing it through! I know it sounds crazy but it will really liberate you.

You are on the right path. Enjoy it.

 

[m3830431]

As you gain more confidence in your diving ability the fear should lessen. So take it easy at first and just practice diving.

 

[tparrent]

Why do you dive?

Did you pick up the sport in order to overcome fears or did you do it to satisfy someone else's idea of what you should be doing? If it's the later then hang up your gear and walk away from the water. Scuba is a really bad activity to be forced into - especially if you have a low panic trigger.

On the other hand, if you intentionally chose a sport with a demanding environment in order to work through your fears, then I understand completely. I took up sailing because I was afraid of the motion on the water. I was afraid of flying so I went skydiving. I started SCUBA because I couldn't swim. All of the activities helped me overcome fear by forcing me to focus on the mechancis of the activity and establish a sense of control over my actions and, to a lesser degree, my environment.

It may help if you break down your diving into smaller parts and take challenges one at a time. First, do not go out when it is rough. In fact, if possible, dive only in placid waters so tht seasickness is not as big a problem. Even look into shore diving if that helps eliminate anxiety about being in a boat on the ocean. Dive in a pool more if necessary. The idea is to eliminate as many risk/anxiety factors as possible until you become comfortable at each level.

Concentrate on your bouyancy at first and learn to love the feeling of just hanging in the water and then easily controlling your ascent and descent. Don't layer on all sorts of complexities like long swims, poor visibility, navigation, deep dives etc until you establish control over bouyancy. Remember that each little bit of control you master will help to allay all of your other fears.

Once you have bouyancy under control, relax a bit and dive somewhere that presents interesting views without a lot of effort. For instance, go to a calm area with good visibility and good small critters to observe. Just hang there and stare at all the life on the reef. No need to go chasing big fish or cover great distances. Since bouyancy is the first control factor, use it to enjoy the simnple act of looking intently at the small stuff.. Only after you are comfortable with this should you move on the next issue.

You could make very slow progress towards overcoming or at least containing your fears or it might all come together at once. Be prepared for slow progress and take satisfaction out of unexpected advances. You will need an extrememly patient buddy to help with this. If you don't have that kind of buddy then find him, hire him or stay out of the water. Fortunately, there are LOTS of great buddies around who remember what is was like to be a newbie and will be patient and helpful. They also know that progress will come more quickly for you if the are patient rather than demanding.

In my OW checkout dives I was 100% focused and just kept telling myself "you know how to do this, you jknow how to do this" and I didn't bother to look around or enjoy the rest of the experience. I figured it would take years before I was comfortable enough to actually enjoy the sport. In fact, I doubted I would dive more than once or twice again after getting certified - not because of fear but just because it did not seem that enjoyable. That all changed the first time I hit the water after getting certified. I was in a great location with great visibility, great friends, great sea life and a super divemaster. The fear melted away and I started having fun. Since then, each dive has been more fun and less anxious. I still work on skills on every dive and I feel my progress and confidence each time I hit the water.

I came to get over the fear and stayed to enjoy wonder of it all.

If you can't do any of this, then find another activity. Life is too short to spend time in uncomfortable pursuits and scuba can be too dangerous for those who panic easily. On the other hand, if you can approach it step by step and slowly overcome your fear and your panic, you will reward yourself with a tremendous personal accomplishment. Just don't push yourself into trouble - nudge yourself towards accomplishment.

 

[clarissa1]

Thanks Tparrent...that is really great advice! I was definitely not forced into scuba diving and started it exactly for the reasons you mentioned: Because I wanted to prove to myself that I can and because I had a genuine interest in the sport. My first 2 dives after my check-out dives went really great, but the last 3 went awful...the DM even called me to one side and told me that I was an "ecological disaster" due to the fact that my buoyancy sucks so much! hahahaha! I'm laughing now, but I felt very hurt by his remark (which is nonetheless very true). I really do want to make a success of this and would have quit a long time ago if I believed for any reason that I couldnt do this... I guess I will just have to take it step by step like you say. Also I live 6hours drive from the nearest dive spot, so the large amount of time that goes by between the one dive and the next makes me forget what I have already accomplished and then I have to start from scratch every time!

 

[Walter]

It's normal to be afraid. What you need more than anything is to not be a "very panicky person." Panic kills divers. We don't need it to do you in. You need to learn what causes panic and how to stop it from happening to you.

The first step in panic is feeling a lack of confidence in one's abilities.

An ability to swim fairly well is the first step toward confidence in the water. The next step is learning skin diving skills. A combination of swimming ability and mastering skin diving skills eliminates a feeling of being overly dependent on SCUBA equipment.

Skills left out of most classes (because some agencies don't include them in their standards) such as doff & don (removing all equipment on the pool bottom, swimming to the surface then returned to put it all back on) and bail out (stepping into the water while holding one's gear and putting it on during descent) also build self confidence and help to eliminate that first step toward panic.

The second step in panic is when something goes wrong. We can train and practice and maintain our equipment, but we can never eliminate problems arising. When things go wrong, a diver will either have confidence in their ability to handle the problem or they won't. If they do have confidence, they'll solve the problem and move on.

If they lack confidence, they will become scared and as a result start to hypoventilate. Hypoventilation is rapid shallow breathing. It is often, incorrectly, called uncontrolled hyperventilation. These are the next two steps in panic. Hypoventilation causes a buildup of CO2 in the lungs. This is because shallow breathing does not purge the lungs of CO2 on exhalation. As CO2 builds, the urge to breathe becomes even stronger. Hypoventilation increases, making the feeling of not being able to breathe even worse. This is what makes some divers think they are over breathing their regulator. Once hypoventilation starts, full panic is often seconds away. Once the diver is panicked, he will often take inappropriate and usually dangerous actions such as bolting to the surface.

An understanding of this cycle can allow a diver to break it and prevent panic. Most agencies teach divers, Stop, think, act. Some teach it as, Stop, breathe, think, act. This is wonderful, but it doesn't explain why and while the concept is a good one, a better understanding of the panic cycle is essential to breaking it. If a diver feels himself starting to hypoventilate, he needs to know this is an important step that can lead to his (and his buddy's) death if he doesn't take immediate action by slowing his breathing. Slow deep breaths are a life saver.

 

[alo100]

Thank you clarissa1 for posting a great topic.
A lot of people have fear, but they do not necessarily tell you about it.
I am no exception, my ultimate fear is dive accident, death. So, I guess if you can over come this, you can over come many other kinds of fear, right?

About a week ago, I posted a thread in another forum about a expert diver passed away in a cave diving mission. Hold on, I am not trying to introduce more fear, don't worry!

I firstly read about the incident last year, the thought has left behind... and I was not sure what it was.., until recently I read from another forum, there was a video about the same accident, what? I asked myself, again? Part of his last dive was shown in Discovery channel. Then I realized that that was fear that has left in my heart for about a year, hovering. I like diving but diving is dangerous, it's like a contradiction that I cannot resolve. After I posted the news about the incident, I left it with a sentence, "so, it's easier than we thought". The reason of that was a reminder about, don't forget to be careful while enjoy diving, then also about the meaning of life...

By the way, be very careful about this kind of report when you post it, for my case, a lot of good and bad feedbacks, sharing about "yes, we should be more careful" and anger: "there is no respect when YOU remind other person's death" because there was a video from the Discovery report attached. Finally, a close friend of the diver from another country posted thank you for letting the people in the forum know, and he was posting it to let everybody knows about how he knew him, and that his mission was done for the sake of love -- he was going to get back another person's body which was left in the cave. Thank God, it was his good friend who has stopped the argument. It turned out that the diver who passed away was a Christian and his family too, and he is in heaven now. In the same thread, I used another example, about one of my friend who passed away about 2 weeks ago,, she was a 59 yrs old cancer patient. When I posted the thread, she was dying. Before her death, she was encouraging other cancer patients, and she was very happy until the very last minute, because she knew where she was heading. She got a chance to talk to every single one of us, and has given as a new meaning of what is faith like.

I hesitated to talk about religion in that thread at the beginning, you know, it can be a taboo for the many of us. But when the more I hide from the topic, the more I realized the consequence: confusion, naiveness and for some reason, anger.

So am I a religious fanatic? Several years ago, I was searching for the answer, if there is a God why didn't He answer me? I attended 3 churches trying to find out. It lasted for 3 years, and by the end of it, I do not know and I realized that by the end of the 3rd year, I was physically sick. Then I became more eager to find out the answer and I was humble down, begging God about the meaning behind life and death.... to keep the long story short, a super natural phenomina occured, and by that them I found my answer, the answer was not revealed to many famous philosophers, but on the other hand, it was revealed to many of us, there is a God.

I would not be giving you a complete answer about fear if I give you only some psychological steps to do (although I am also interested in psychology), and other people can give out technical reminders, I am sure. Every minute in our life, He is watching and He hopes to join us, and hope to introduce himself and give us the direction in our journey. By the time, I noticed He is close, and I am willing to carry out His will, there are a lot of things I am not afraid of anymore, death, for example, is one of them. It is only when I wanted to go far away from Him, that's when I am not sure... when I start to feel that I am alone doing my own stuff with no protection. So whenever I dive, I talk to Him, and I know that He is keeping me alive.

"When we figure out about death, where we are going, we know the meaning of life".

 

[AquaHump]

It sounds to me that you fear is eating at what ever you do. If I where you I would not dive untill you talk to a doctor about you fear problems and make some prgress with fear in your life. If you are so scard that you hold a reg just in case then what if a real problem pokes at you. This is the last palce to be that afraid. I know this not want you want to hear but I would hate for somthing to go wrong and you fear diveing . I realy would hate to see you die becouse of this.

 

[H2Andy]

you can de-condition yourself from fear by doing things slowly and cautiously,
and taking small steps. slowly, you can actually do almost anything.

as for the anxiety, you might want to consult a therapist to see if maybe
you have a mild anxiety disorder. these things can be chemical and easily
solved.

you can also decide that diving is not for you. no shame in that. i will never
jump out of a plane. ever. no way. not for me.

if diving isn't fun and relaxing for you, why do it? you don't have to do it.
don't make yourself sick over it.

 

[Cacia]

walter, think you made a typo. hyperventilation is too fast and co2 is blown off......

okay, I just read the whole thing....where did you get that? incorrectly called "hyperventilation". I never heard of hypoventilation unless it was a narcotic overdose, etc. hmmm. is it possible that I am wrong?