How to handle non diving husband who is being difficult....

[ladyfishdvr]

I signed up for a scuba class because I work from home and a friend said take a class so you can talk to real people. I just got my OW cert and have signed up for AOW and am buying some gear here and there. I like diving and I just want to dive. My husband, who fishes all the time, in tournaments and for fun has not been supportive of this. I have kept him informed every step of the way with what I am doing. He has come to a few dive club meetings with me. I just acquired a used regulator and he asked me about it. When I said "it will be ok for now but a good backup when I get new gear" he got very angry. I bought a new BC at a great price, and have hidden it from him because I don't want the stress he will give me. So what's his problem?

 

[lostcajun]

Any new event, hobby, experience can put stress on a relationship even if it's not perceived in a negative way. If there are "issues" it's rarely about the hobby itself. The anger or disconnect potentially is already there. If your marriage is important to you perhaps this would be a good opportunity to have some very important conversations with your husband about "us". What is important to him about "us"? What is important to you about "us." What is the primary goal of "us"? etc. Counseling is a great idea, not because anyone is "crazy" but because it's always good to get some objective person to help us improve. (If any of this is out of line, just disregard! Safe diving and hope you can connect with your spouse in a meaningful and positive way)

 

[JamesK]

Sounds like y'all have issues better worked out in counseling then here.

 

[uncfnp]

Ladyfishfelt, I am so sorry for the difficulty you are experiencing trying to do something you are interested in. I can not imagine how difficult this must be for you. Is it possible for you to sit down with him in a non threatening way, not putting him on the defensive and calmly ask what makes him feel this way about your diving? Is it the money? Does he feel threatened? Is he jealous?

 

[Wookie]

I don't know what kind of fishing he does. but I spent a vacation once at LightHouse Reef Resort in Belize, which was having a bonefish tournament. These anglers were there from all over the world to stand knee deep and thrash the water to a froth fly fishing for bones. This is a way (you just have to market it correctly) for you and your best guy to connect with each other while on vacation. He spends his day fishing, you spend it diving. This is not a tearer aparter, it's a bringing togetherer. Maybe leave a few fishing brouchures around about fishing the Florida Keys, or Belize. Isla Morada has some of the best marlin and sailfish fishing in the world, and it seems that it's the same time as whale sharks are there.

Work it, baby, and market this correctly, and you'll have a diving buddy forever. He just may not be diving. He'll have a fishing buddy, too.

 

[Hawkwood]

I don't know what kind of fishing he does. but I spent a vacation once at LightHouse Reef Resort in Belize, which was having a bonefish tournament. These anglers were there from all over the world to stand knee deep and thrash the water to a froth fly fishing for bones. This is a way (you just have to market it correctly) for you and your best guy to connect with each other while on vacation. He spends his day fishing, you spend it diving. This is not a tearer aparter, it's a bringing togetherer. Maybe leave a few fishing brouchures around about fishing the Florida Keys, or Belize. Isla Morada has some of the best marlin and sailfish fishing in the world, and it seems that it's the same time as whale sharks are there.

Work it, baby, and market this correctly, and you'll have a diving buddy forever. He just may not be diving. He'll have a fishing buddy, too.

Yup, there are many resorts that cater to both bonefish folks and divers. We've been to the Southern Cross Club on Little Cayman and the Tourneffe Island Resort in Belize.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

I have talked to him about the Florida Keys. He fishes, I dive, we are both happy

 

[divad]

Eventually I will explode and it will not be pretty. So what's his problem?

Sounds like you have some bones to pick and much bigger fish to fry. Scuba seems incidental.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

Sounds like y'all have issues better worked out in counseling then here.

Dude this is the Womens forum - This is a forum where our female members are welcome to talk about ideas, concerns, and anything surrounding diving that their male counterparts - and some women as well - may not experience or care about.

 

[Tigerman]

I have a nagging feeling that whats going on is called jealousy..
Wether that is right or not youll only be able to find out by talking to him though..