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I have to go along with the 'don't push the issue' crowd. My wife loves that I have a hobby that I truly enjoy, but has absolutely no desire to join me. I would never push her into trying something that she's afraid to try. Better she decide on her own, get a really patient instructor, and be there if she asks. Pushing and making her feel obligated to join you will only cause problems, IMHO
Inappropriate motivation to dive solely to please spouse, partner or family member, to prove oneself in the face of personal fears.
If your wife's soul motivation is to please you, then she is medically disqualified from diving. If she were to take up diving, she would be a danger to both herself and you. Some people just aren't divers.
My husband has been the "not a diver" over the last 30 years. I'm in the same boat - I finally asked why he didn't want to.
He is blind as a bat without glasses (-8.50). When I told him about prescription masks and had one made up for him, he was willing to try a discovery dive.
He will be on a discovery dive in Curaçao next spring. I wanted him to really enjoy it vs diving in a cold lake with 5' visibility.
Baby steps, but maybe he'll go on to certification & dive with me.
Just to give my experience! My fiance is a Marine Biologist and a divemaster. I'm 28 and I've always thought Divers were out of their minds. Like slow moving skydivers, just begging for a horrible death lol. After we met she was saying how she loves diving and this and that, and told me stories.. showed me pictures... then we went snorkeling and she pointed out marine life and told me how much different it is in the deeper water. We watched documentaries on marine life and one day it hit me... as I was 30 ft underwater with scuba gear thinking "How the hell did I get here?!"... now I'm addicted. I went diving last weekend, and had a dive off of Jupiter FL, planned for this weekend with The Blue Tang. I guess what I'm saying is... there are two types of people in this world. Divers and people who have never dived. Slowly introduce her to it and she'll be pushing you out of the way to get to her OW class. It really is one of those things that once you experience it, you're done for. Get used to light wallets and getting wet.
I'm with the don't push it crowd too. My wife got certified shortly before we got married and on our first trip to Roatan she did not want to go all the way down at the Marys place dive. No problem, I just stayed with her at the top of the reef and we hada great time. Later she thanked me for not pushing her into doing something that was a bit scary to her. Slow and easy worked. Now she is a terrific dive buddy. Perhaps a way to interest your wife is to take photos and show her what cool stuff you saw down there. If you aren't interested in taking the pics you can often get photographers on the boat with you to share their pics via email then show them to her. Can't hurt.
I think you offer a distinction in saying that she was "uncomfortable". This a world away from I don''t want to.
My wife had a difficult start but she stuck with it. Her experience and others points out that this is a often a progressive adaptation. Skill and repeated exposure lessen the discomfort until the largely if not entirely joy displaces it. People's progression through the mask clearing skill is a perfect example of going from terror to nonchalant.
You need to decide how to offer the avenue to find her zen. It could leaving a tank and regulator in the bathroom so she can blow some bubbles in the tub or along side you on the surface on your alternate or with an instructor doing a pool discover dive if she's feeling a little bold. Perhaps a progression of all 3. Offer her non threatening baby steps, she'll let you know if she wants to go faster.
Wow! here's our story. My wife is afraid to be underwater. She loves to snorkel but even in a bathing suit she "can't" seem to be able to dive down to get a closer look at something. She makes sounds now and then that she wants to try scuba again, the last attempt was over 30 years ago. We got to about 4ffw and she was thumbs upping. The dive ended after1 minute on the surface in near panic with me inflating her horse collar BC and pulling her into shallow water which was only a few yards away but in her panic she "couldn't" do either. She's been snorkeling for years and is much more comfortable in the water. So I found a cheap BCD on Ebay bought it tested it and told her about it. I told her if she really wanted to try again I'd help her. So now we are working on getting her to know the BCD how it works and finding the inflator with her eyes closed. We agreed she'll snorkel with this new rig on and if she feels she can try she'll give me a signal and we'll descend in 3-5 fsw the max depth of the cove she snorkels in. I'm hopeful she'll do well and maybe next year get ceritifed OW. She refuses to try classes until she has at least stayed underwater comfortably for a shallow water dive or two. I agree, she would fail.
Don't push her but if she feels she's ready help her as much as you can. Go slow be calm and be safe. Good luck!
I would also say not to push, I didn't read through the thread for other's opinions but I'm sure this leads to divers that shouldn't be diving. My wife was hesitant, but went with it, and ended up taking to it like a fish to water if you will pardon the cliche.
Don't do it! My wife was a good sport and got her OW. Decided she didn't want to dive because she's afraid of seeing a shark. In Curacao I talked her into going on a shore dive with me right on the house reef at Breezes where they said they hadn't seen a shark in years.
We're at 60 feet when a nurse shark cruises by about 20-30 feet below us.
Wife bolts for the top to end dive. I hold her down.
She grabs regulator out of my mouth to try to force me to go up NOW. (We both survived)
Moral of story: Nobody needs a dive buddy that doesn't want to dive.
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PS- She's mentioned several times since that she wants to dunk again. We've both agreed that if she does she will do a refresher and dive at least a few times with her own DM until we're both comfortable with her being underwater.
It is my firm belief that if we had to learn to drive from our spouses we'd all be hitchhiking.
Pushing her would definitely tip her over especially if she was unwilling in the first place. I've had students ask me the same question about persuading their significant other to dive. A good start would be to find out what was it that caused her discomfort in the first place, and then work to address it. Was it a fear of a particular skill (such as mask clearing), or an unpleasant learning experience?
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