Here you go... an amusing drunk story to (sort of) entertain you... and it's absolutely true (but sort of gross).
When I was 13, I snitched a case of beer from my mum one summer day and went out into a field and got a bit of a drink on. There was a creek that ran through the field, and if you put the tinnies in a mesh carry-all and dipped them in the creek, they stayed nice and cold.
Anyway, me not knowing much better, I drank this beer as though it were soda (meaning quickly - chug-a-lug style). I had probably 5 cans in about 30 minutes. Then, being not a little buzzed and a lot bloated, I decided I'd walk over to my friend's house.
On the way, I met this girl that I had a bit of a crush on, and we decided to walk over there together. So we were walking down the street (okay, I was sort of staggering), talking away, and the beer was rumbling in my stomach.
So... she asked me a question... I turned to her, opened my mouth and... one quick burp and then OUT came all that beer... all at once... with lots of power... as in it actually had shape! :shocked2: My mouth was in an oval, and so was the beer-stream. I looked like a fountain... Splashing all over her shoes, all over the bottom legs of her jeans, splashing in the road...
Needless to say, the relationship never went anywhere...