I hate gloves. I lived in Boston for 8 years and never wore them. I dive in somewhat warmer water than you (but still cold enough for a 7mm wetsuit, 7mm hood, 5mm booties) and went bare-handed for a while. But then I had to get a pair of gloves for an organized dive event that required them, so I bought the thinnest pair I could find--1mm. I actually wear them all the time now, because they keep my hands warm enough that I have more dexterity with them than without.
I find that most everyone has an Achilles heel when it comes to the cold--a body part that needs more insulation or you're just going to be miserable. For me, it's my ears. All those gloveless winter days I survived in New England, I still needed ear muffs. Hence the 7mm hood. Know what yours is and work around that.
One other option you didn't mention is adding a neutrally buoyant layer under your wetsuit. I have a Sharkskin jacket; Lavacore is another brand, and there are at least a couple others. You can also pour warm water into your wetsuit right before you splash; it helps a lot with that initial icy seepage.
I find that most everyone has an Achilles heel when it comes to the cold--a body part that needs more insulation or you're just going to be miserable. For me, it's my ears. All those gloveless winter days I survived in New England, I still needed ear muffs. Hence the 7mm hood. Know what yours is and work around that.
One other option you didn't mention is adding a neutrally buoyant layer under your wetsuit. I have a Sharkskin jacket; Lavacore is another brand, and there are at least a couple others. You can also pour warm water into your wetsuit right before you splash; it helps a lot with that initial icy seepage.