Just say what my mother used to say. "If you dont bloody well like, you can bloody well do it yourself, i know your ears are painted on but your arms and legs bloody well are'nt"divingirl:
No one messed with mum.
Help! looking for mommy divers
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No one messed with mum.
WOW! I did not expect so much feed back. Thanks everyone. Oh and by the way... 
Me and my sister are going diving this weekend(her beau got shipped to Iraq in Jan., so shes trying to get over the withdrawls :frown: ) while baby goes to Grandma's house and dad gets to do yard work. We had a long talk this morning and everything is much better. We decided we both needed a little time away.Thanks again for all your help.
MLE
Me and my sister are going diving this weekend(her beau got shipped to Iraq in Jan., so shes trying to get over the withdrawls :frown: ) while baby goes to Grandma's house and dad gets to do yard work. We had a long talk this morning and everything is much better. We decided we both needed a little time away.Thanks again for all your help.MLE
divingirl:WOW! I did not expect so much feed back. Thanks everyone. Oh and by the way...
MLE
Glad things are better for you, and you're going diving. If you ever need to vent again feel free to PM me. Been there, done that. I was a stay-at-home mom for three years and thought I'd go insane some days. Yeah, it is great being with your kids all the time, definite advantages, but stay-at-home moms have a 24hr a day job. I work full time now (divorced now and kids in school), and enjoy being with adults during the day. You can only take so much Nickelodeon!
Mel
Mama Mynet
Contributor
divingirl:
Girl you are NOT the only one!!! I was a SAHM for 2 years until my ex and I split up while I was preggo with my 2nd son. Our issues really didn't have much to do with the housework though (more like I had issues with his issues...LOL)
Now i'm working full time, going to school full time and raising 2 kids by myself. And I LOVE every second of it. So I can honestly say the I've had both experiences. I would RATHER be home with the boys, but it was just as challenging being at home full time as being a single working mommy too. And I must say that I'm better at getting the kids dressed and out of the house single then I was married (Go figure!!!) I still can't keep a house neat worth a damn but my kids are happy and so am I. I never figured out how the mommy's did it (like in Desperate Housewives, Bree... who the hell can be "that perfect?" Although it IS wicked fun to see the "perfect ones" have faults too :drejnd:
Raising kids is a challenging job. No one will know it better than you how much it takes out of you. Children (especially babies and toddlers) can't reason or don't understand why things are the way that they are and why they can't get their own way. Babies don't understand that you might be mad tired and having a bad day and that you need some alone time too. Many times, the parent who does work outside of the home doesn't appreciate the sacrifices that the stay at home parent makes to stay at home. Really take time to sit down and listen to each other and talk as honestly as you want to or can about how you are feeling. If you are having a hard time talking to each other, then have someone else help you talk like a therapist, counselor or pastor/rabbi/etc. You really need to talk out your feelings before they build up to something that might not be able to be fixed.
And by all means, stick to the diving!!!! You NEED something besides Dora the Explorer and Elmo's World to talk about. Every parent needs something besides the latest loose tooth or diaper change to discuss with other adults and even your kids. I've been using the scuba diving as a chance to bond with my kids even though they are toddlers. Mikey already wants to swim and we talk about the water and sea life all the time. Manny is starting to be aware of water and oceans and stuff so he loves taking baths with Mikey and playing with their sea animal toys. It helps me bond with the kids at a different level then just with the latest Land Before Time Movie (although I LOVE Land Before Time myself so that is cool too...LOL)
And maybe hubby is a tad jealous because you have found another interest besides being a wife and mother... Whatever the case, enjoy your time diving, enjoy your time with your family, and please consider talking things out before you DO explode.
Good luck...
Mama Mynet:
Please, please tell me how you do this? I've been thinking hard about returning to college, only three semesters left, but just don't know when I would find the time. Plus the ex lives out of the country so that whole babysitting issue comes into play.
I agree with this too. My ex, even though he is married and supposedly happy, told me he doesn't want to hear about my diving. I think he is jealous of what I'm doing, and I'm enjoying every minute of it! LOLMama Mynet:
Mama Mynet
Contributor
suthnbelle:
I've been super lucky in that my sitter is an absolute ANGEL and loves my kids as if they are her own, and my parent's are nearby for emergency sitting...
My ex is a hmmmm, schmuch is a civilized word for him I guess. He's not around for watching the kids (much less parenting) and pretty soon (hopefully) will be out of the country as well. He hardly takes then for every other weekend so weekdays are out of the question.
Basically I have a sitter that I pay an extra $25 per nite to watch my kids until I get out of school. I'm graduating this May and only have to take 6 extra credits over the summer to complete my degree requirements.
I'm taking 12 credits at night, monday's tuesday's wednesday's (I have 2 classes on wednesdays). I highly recommend taking at least one FUN class per semester. Would you belive that my school is letting me take advanced scuba diving for 3 credits? Woohoooo. That's how I initially got into diving. They were offering the basic last semester. I wasn't going to take it cause I was so fat after having Manny but then my niece told me to get off of my butt and do it . I'm so glad I did cause seeing all the 18 year olds with perfect figures got me motivated to get back into shape and lose my baby weight.It can be done but the guilt you feel at first and during exam week is sometimes overwhelming. I so miss the boys. I felt so guilty about the marriage not working out, them not having me full time any more, having to work, and then knowing that I had to go back to school if I wanted a career that would provide enough of a salary to support us. But my boys are sooo happy and healthy (thank god). My sitter adores them so that makes it easier for me to handle not being with them. And every time the thought creeps into my head to quit again I just tell myself that it's only temporary and pretty soon I'll never HAVE to worry about my BA again.
I say go for it!!! Your kids are a bit older than mine I think. Mikey is 3yo and Manny is 1yo (or at least will be in a month...LOL) Sit down and talk with them. Get them involved in your school endevours. When they do homework, you do homework with them. Take them to your campus and show them around. Mikey is going to start going with me to the pool at school. Even at 3 he knows what I'm working for. He tells the sitter all the time. Daytime, Mami work, Night-School. And if I HAVE to do some homework at home and don't have time between classes at school, I give Mikey "homework". I don't get a lot done, but a little bit is better than nothing.
Oh yeah, and there is no such thing as housework anymore...LOL I'm lucky if I take the laundry for wash and fold once a week.
Another alternative for you is online. University of Phoenix online is awesome. I actually completed 15 credits that way. Thomas Edison State College has a great distance learning program, reasonable tuition, and they offer lifetime learning credits(they'll give you 3 credits for scuba diving certs!) I REALLY recommend TESC. Especially for the working parent who's been there/done that. And you can clep out of most of your credits (I think up to 30 or 60). Here's a link to them: http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/clep/about.html and then you can do term papers to get credits for other classes.
YOU CAN DO IT!!! You will need to set things up around you to be able to get it done. If you have any more questions just post or PM me.
My wife knows exactly how to turn me into the smiling, drooling, house-cleaning man-slave she wants, and has happily gotten whatever she's wanted for the last 24.6 years. For me, it's just kinda been a joyous haze.
- Oh! Gotta go! Her coffee cup needs a refill!
- Oh! Gotta go! Her coffee cup needs a refill!
KBulla
Guest
I'm lucky in the fact that my husband is very understanding when it comes to the housework getting done, or not getting done as the case may be. The kids (2-year old and 2-month old) come first, so as long as they're healthy, fed and somewhat clean (lol), we're in good shape! And, yes, he chips in when needed, and he has no problem watching the kids for me when I need a mommy break.
Plus we are BOTH divers, so he can relate to the need to get wet. I've been pregnant and then constantly nursing, so I haven't been down in a long time (although I did do a VERY shallow dive during my first trimester). Because of this, I think I have first dibs on diving while he watches the kids in case we can't find anyone to watch them.
As for the housework, check out www.flylady.net if you get a chance. She has an awesome system for getting the house clean and making improvements everywhere in your life. If you sign up, you get a LOT of emails, but seriously give it a try, and I think you'll be amazed. If you want to talk to other real moms, check out www.mommies2mommies.com. There are even a few diving moms on the board that you can talk to. We welcome any and all additions to this new parenting board.
Good luck and do NOT feel guilty for a second for needing your own time to follow your own interests before you crack up!
Kris
Plus we are BOTH divers, so he can relate to the need to get wet. I've been pregnant and then constantly nursing, so I haven't been down in a long time (although I did do a VERY shallow dive during my first trimester). Because of this, I think I have first dibs on diving while he watches the kids in case we can't find anyone to watch them.
As for the housework, check out www.flylady.net if you get a chance. She has an awesome system for getting the house clean and making improvements everywhere in your life. If you sign up, you get a LOT of emails, but seriously give it a try, and I think you'll be amazed. If you want to talk to other real moms, check out www.mommies2mommies.com. There are even a few diving moms on the board that you can talk to. We welcome any and all additions to this new parenting board.
Good luck and do NOT feel guilty for a second for needing your own time to follow your own interests before you crack up!
Kris
KBulla:I'm lucky in the fact that my husband is very understanding when it comes to the housework getting done, or not getting done as the case may be. The kids (2-year old and 2-month old) come first, so as long as they're healthy, fed and somewhat clean (lol), we're in good shape! And, yes, he chips in when needed, and he has no problem watching the kids for me when I need a mommy break.
Plus we are BOTH divers, so he can relate to the need to get wet. I've been pregnant and then constantly nursing, so I haven't been down in a long time (although I did do a VERY shallow dive during my first trimester). Because of this, I think I have first dibs on diving while he watches the kids in case we can't find anyone to watch them.
As for the housework, check out www.flylady.net if you get a chance. She has an awesome system for getting the house clean and making improvements everywhere in your life. If you sign up, you get a LOT of emails, but seriously give it a try, and I think you'll be amazed. If you want to talk to other real moms, check out www.mommies2mommies.com. There are even a few diving moms on the board that you can talk to. We welcome any and all additions to this new parenting board.
Good luck and do NOT feel guilty for a second for needing your own time to follow your own interests before you crack up!
Kris
I have got to get over to the mommies site more often. It is an awesome site. I need to check out that flylady site, but like you said, as long as the kids are happy, healthy and relatively clean it is all good!
Mel
I have found that most of those so-called supermoms have nothing fulfilling in their lives outside of their children. When the kids are gone, supermom's brain turns to mush. Consider yourself a lucky and well rounded person; don't base your self expectations on unrealistic visions of supermommy because that's usually just surface stuff that hides all the neuroses; and most of all, make sure you fight hard for your right to dive. It takes two to make babies and Dad needs to give you some R&R time too.
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