Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[TSandM]

Several years ago, I made a trip to Indonesia, and stayed at Kungkungen Bay Resort (wonderful place, BTW). My husband and I had backplate and wing setups. It was clear, on the first day, that they had never seen such a thing before, because I found that the crew had mounted the tank on the side of the plate where the harness was. I'm not quite sure how they thought I was going to wear it.

At any rate, about two years later, another diver showed up at the resort with a backplate. The DM looked at him and said, "Oh, do you know Lynne?" (Clearly, there are only three backplate divers in the world, and we must all know one another.)

Of course, the diver in question was my friend Bob Bailey, and he DID know Lynne!

 

[matt_8777]

I love this thread!!!

 

[matt_8777]

Two years ago my wife decided to get certified. As we were driving to the dive site for her first experience out of the pool and discussing this and that... she suddenly got a funny look on her face and asked, "If you fart in your wet suit... does it change your buoyancy?"

This is what happens when you fart in your wetsuit!!!

 

[GROBIOG]

"I turned my light into my face to guage its strength, and it blinded me. I ran into the roof. I reached back and checked my valves - everything was there."

To me this is specially funny because it was written by GI3.
If you know who George Irvine is, I think you'd find it funny too.

It came from here Diving to 18 grand.

 

[prosdog]

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[Crewfish13]

So, my plan for this summer is to use my in-laws' pool to get used to my new gear and work on skills until I can get out for some dives later this year (I've got a lot going on between now and Sept!). Two weeks ago, we were staying at my in-laws' for the weekend, and I was hoping to use the pool, but was really struggling to get into a wetsuit that's a bit too small for me. Someone, quipped, "Gee, I really hope you don't have to go to the bathroom when you've got that on," and without thinking I just said "All divers pee in their wetsuits. In fact, we call it the suit warmer."

My mother-in-law responds "And you're going to dive in our pool?"

They're getting a heater installed this week. I hope it's just coincidence. :blush:

 

[Moonie]

This is what happens when you fart in your wetsuit!!!
View attachment 123510

 

[Paco]

I can´t take credit for this one. My friend Jon told it to me.

What do you need to give a whale a circumcision?





FOUR skin divers.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Looks more like a Dry Suit to me.... WELL we HOPE it is still DRY inside

 

[hellhole]

suddenly it came to me...

on one trip to manado(indonesia), my friend that has not dived for while was asked by the boatmen. "how many weight?"
She: huh?
Boatman: How many weight?
She: er... (shyly).. 54..kg...
Boatman: ??!! <smile>
Me: He mean how many weight you need for your weight belt

My friend ( holding on to her weight belt) and everyone laugh out loud...