Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[g1138]

Two divers, one donkey?

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I sold a pair of large Jetfins on Ebay. The buyer wanted to return them because they were both left-footed. He found the letter L on the bottom of each fin.

 

[RonFrank]

The reason you don't need supplemental O2 on an Everest trek is because of the fact that it takes several weeks (I believe) to trek that 20,000 ft. By the time you get to the summit your body has acclimated to the change in O2. Also, when you skydive, you need supplemental O2 at 15,000 ft and above, not 10,000 ft, so you don't become hypoxic. Keep in mind though that I've never climbed Mt. Everest so I am not sure about that one, but I do work at a skydiving dropzone.

Actually you go up, then back down, then back up, then back down, then ..... to become acclimated to the altitude. Once acclimated its not a picnic for most, constant headaches, altitude sickness as they are not truly acclimated, just able to function. Climbers at this level should have their head examined.

 

[Griff..]

The quote I made, I obviously do not say to all people! Only a select few that may appreciate such a joke!
Also, chill.

 

[aprilmayjune]

A passenger on the dive vessel I worked on was asking me about humpback whales, and I told him that this was 'whale season', their best oppurtunity to see humpback whales at that time of year in Australia.

They replied with sincere interest, "OH do they come through this time of year to lay their eggs here?!"

 

[g1138]

Hey, your tank's loose....hold on. Okay spread your legs, squat down, and bend over.

Instructor: "That is NOT appropriate!" *said jokingly*
____________________________________________________
"I'm cold and I'm out of pee. Can you pee in my wetsuit?"

 

[requin02]

SCUBA stands for "Some come up barely alive".

Where I dive, schools were mostly cmas (at least ten years ago). When asking which federation i should train from, the shop owner told me padi stands for Plongeur Ayant Des Insufisances. You choose he said🐳

Lost in translation

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Still love this one... "Does the Mooring line go all the way to the bottom?"

I hear this one regularly "I hate diving in the rain.. you get wet!"

 

[turnerjd]

Where I dive, schools were mostly cmas (at least ten years ago). When asking which federation i should train from, the shop owner told me padi stands for Plongeur Ayant Des Insufisances. You choose he said

Lost in translation

Even now, in France PADI still stands for Plongeur Ayant Des Insufisances (literally Diver with Insufficiencies).

Even after more than a year in my current club I still hear this. However, there is a clear split between those that just look at how you dive and treat you on your actual ability and those that blindly assume that PADI is bad. Usually the blind assumers are the same people who wonder how I manage to do a dive without touching anything (wall / wreck / seabed etc...) and hover precisely where I want to be.

Jon

 

[Moonie]

How do you cut the sea in half?



With a see-saw! Tee Hee!

Later,
Moonie